Managing compulsions in public

[wilsonmatt90]

Even though i have suffered with OCD most my life, i have only recently learnt this platform exists. I have never tried reaching out to other people going through the same thing before.

I've been wondering how other people manage their compulsions in public? I have always found things far more severe when im around people im comfortable with or alone. For example alot of my closest friends are only now learning I have OCD.

[Josiah10]

Medication

 

[wilsonmatt90]

I don't mean what course of treatment do you use. I more mean can you control it better in different situations?

Eg im far worse around my family and loved ones than I am around people I don't know

[Josiah10]

11 minutes ago, wilsonmatt90 said:

I don't mean what course of treatment do you use. I more mean can you control it better in different situations?

Eg im far worse around my family and loved ones than I am around people I don't know

I've spoken with another guy who has ocd and he said he does better when he's in social situations. He wasn't sure why. When I was struggling it was pretty consistent regardless of my social circumstance. If for example you ocd is worse around your family because you're scared of harming them, probably the best thing to do so spend more time with them as an exposure and then resist the associated compulsion.

[Josiah10]

Just now, Josiah10 said:

I've spoken with another guy who has ocd and he said he does better when he's in social situations. He wasn't sure why. When I was struggling it was pretty consistent regardless of my social circumstance. If for example you ocd is worse around your family because you're scared of harming them, probably the best thing to do so spend more time with them as an exposure and then resist the associated compulsion.

And if your theme is harm it would mostly make sense that it would revolve around your family, because ocd attacks what is most important to you. It targets what you love

[Zelda]

35 minutes ago, wilsonmatt90 said:

I don't mean what course of treatment do you use. I more mean can you control it better in different situations?

Eg im far worse around my family and loved ones than I am around people I don't know

I can understand this in terms of compulsions. It was often the case that the embarrassment  I felt about them meant I would not carry out physical/verbal compulsions in front of people I did not know/work context etc. I’m mindful however that I was still carrying out mental compulsions rather than not doing any! 
 

is that what you mean? 

 

 

[wilsonmatt90]

2 minutes ago, Zelda said:

I can understand this in terms of compulsions. It was often the case that the embarrassment  I felt about them meant I would not carry out physical/verbal compulsions in front of people I did not know/work context etc. I’m mindful however that I was still carrying out mental compulsions rather than not doing any! 
 

is that what you mean? 

 

 

This is exactly what I mean. My compulsions can sometimes take 4-5 hours of my day. But if im in work around people I can almost force myself to not do them. Even though it means my mind going 100 miles an hour I think its interesting that I can't stop them alone but can in work.

[Zelda]

7 minutes ago, wilsonmatt90 said:

This is exactly what I mean. My compulsions can sometimes take 4-5 hours of my day. But if im in work around people I can almost force myself to not do them. Even though it means my mind going 100 miles an hour I think its interesting that I can't stop them alone but can in work.

Well, on a positive note this tells us that we do have the ability to resist compulsions. Likely when we are mindfully on other tasks. But as you say your mind is still focused on the thoughts, I guess worth trying to catch if you are carrying out mental compulsions instead. 
 

Often when I would proudly say ‘I didn’t do X compulsion until I got home!’, my therapist reminded me that the ‘I don’t have to do this now’ logic still maintains the idea that the thought requires a response. 
 

kinda like how ‘I won’t have a cigarette now’ is not the same as ‘I don’t need a cigarette.’ 

[wilsonmatt90]

Thats very true, i almost feels like an itch that can't be scratched. But when I am given the opportunity I spend hours making up for lost time. I guess the next step is pushing myself to forget about them

[Zelda]

2 minutes ago, wilsonmatt90 said:

Thats very true, i almost feels like an itch that can't be scratched. But when I am given the opportunity I spend hours making up for lost time. I guess the next step is pushing myself to forget about them

Yep! Something I’m working on too. I do think as we’re working on things like this it’s ok to plan a little - scheduling some tasks (however mundane, but ideally nice) instead of keeping hours free to catch up on checking! 

[wilsonmatt90]

That's true, I've actually found this forum to be a massive distraction for me tonight where I'd usually be going through the motions with my compulsions!

[Handy]

No one notices or cares what I do where I go. 
 

What makes you think people are watching you do things? 

[Zelda]

5 hours ago, Handy said:

No one notices or cares what I do where I go. 
 

What makes you think people are watching you do things? 

Well depending on: where we live, how our compulsions manifest, how dependent others are on us, our past experience of bullying/shaming about mental illness, our social identities, whether we have some kind of public facing responsibilities etc… we are all likely to have different understandings of how much people care.

however the point was really about whether/why saving compulsions for later was unhelpful.

[wilsonmatt90]

12 hours ago, Handy said:

No one notices or cares what I do where I go. 
 

What makes you think people are watching you do things? 

I've often had people asking what I'm doing when I'm going through my compulsion rituals on different things. I mean its a pretty normal question to ask as most would see it as obscure behaviour.
The point of my question was to see if other people suffering the same illness went through similar experiences when being able to force themselves to stop in different environments.

[northpaul]

15 minutes ago, wilsonmatt90 said:

I've often had people asking what I'm doing when I'm going through my compulsion rituals on different things

I once had an experience where I was repeatedly checking my own car doors outside my home.  A Police car came up my street with blue lights on and an officer challenged me why I was trying to break in to this car.  (It turned out someone had phoned to report me).  After I had explained about my OCD and provided all my correct details the Police left.  The sad thing about this was that the person who reported this was someone who lived nearby and had seen me doing this many times before.

[wilsonmatt90]

4 hours ago, northpaul said:

4 hours ago, northpaul said:

I once had an experience where I was repeatedly checking my own car doors outside my home.  A Police car came up my street with blue lights on and an officer challenged me why I was trying to break in to this car.  (It turned out someone had phoned to report me).  After I had explained about my OCD and provided all my correct details the Police left.  The sad thing about this was that the person who reported this was someone who lived nearby and had seen me doing this many times before.

Oh wow that must have been super traumatising! I would have really struggled in that situation!

[Busy Fool]

5 hours ago, northpaul said:

I once had an experience where I was repeatedly checking my own car doors outside my home.  A Police car came up my street with blue lights on and an officer challenged me why I was trying to break in to this car.  (It turned out someone had phoned to report me).  After I had explained about my OCD and provided all my correct details the Police left.  The sad thing about this was that the person who reported this was someone who lived nearby and had seen me doing this many times before.

That's awful and to top it, you probably had to restart the compulsions again, checking you car, when the police left.  I struggle with checking the car too.

[Handy]

11 hours ago, wilsonmatt90 said:

I've often had people asking what I'm doing when I'm going through my compulsion rituals on different things. I mean its a pretty normal question to ask as most would see it as obscure behaviour.
The point of my question was to see if other people suffering the same illness went through similar experiences when being able to force themselves to stop in different environments.

Interesting.  I see people doing compulsions because I know what to look for but I just watch & don’t say anything. One time a guy cleaned my trash top with his arm.  Coming in my yard was a bit much.