Contamination OCD and holiday rentals

[BelAnna]

Hi ,

I have very severe OCD, which means that I'm unable to do a lot of normal things and as a result I also have agoraphobia (I'm not fully housebound but couldn't for example walk through a town or a busy place etc.).

In November last year my family and I moved house to another region and unfortunately we haven't found anywhere permanent to live yet so we have been moving from one holiday rental to another (I think we've moved six times in less than six months so far) since then! We've stayed in our current rental for 8.5 weeks and tomorrow into Friday we're moving to another house for a few nights and then following that to another for three weeks.

I've really struggled every time we have moved to a new place. Each time I feel terrified that we're going to catch Norovirus/a stomach bug and find it really difficult to gauge how much cleaning is necessary and to cope with tasks of daily living like using the toilet (I can't use toilets in pubs/cafes/restaurants/other normal places either), using the fridge/oven, showering/bathing as I fear that all of these could cause me to catch Norovirus. I know that I ultimately need to accept that there is a small risk of catching a virus but it's tricky. Another issue that I have is that I have to scan the carpets/flooring for anything that might harm my dog if she swallows it- so I literally spend hours checking for tablets, bits of thread, anything sharp/toxic that might have been left behind by previous renters. 

I would love some advice on how to cope with the move this week as I'm very stressed out!

[Handy]

Yes! Thats definitely stressful. Take time off, get some exercise, it brings in good hormones.  
 

Norovirus has to get in mouth so wash hands before eating, it’s common sense. 

[Gemma@OCDUK]

Hi BelAnna,

You have moved so much in the past six months, so well done! That's hard and stressful at the best of times, let alone when you have OCD too. I hope you can at least recognise that what you're doing is hard and that's why it feels hard. 

You mentioned that you do lots of different compulsions around fears for your dog, but also around your concerns about norovirus. There's no simple answer on how to cope better. You can try to gauge how best to act from how your family are acting or would like to act. You could also pick a few things to target that you could reduce. Remember compulsions keep our distressing emotions high and limiting them will allow the feelings to pass quicker. In situations like this you're always going to have accept more uncertainty than normal and that's hard, but any uncertainty that you can live with will make you stronger the next time you move 

Gemma

 

 

[ocdjonesy]

If you felt up to you could take this new move as a chance to cut down on compulsions - say only hoovering the carpets once thoroughly for instance.  It wouldn't make you feel less stressed but it might begin to chip away at the compulsions you are doing and make the moving process easier for you and therefore less stressful in the long run if you establish a reduced compulsion/no compulsions routine for it.

[BelAnna]

10 hours ago, Handy said:

Yes! Thats definitely stressful. Take time off, get some exercise, it brings in good hormones.  
 

Norovirus has to get in mouth so wash hands before eating, it’s common sense. 

Thanks Handy . I'm going to take our dog for a walk later so that might help. I am very careful with hand hygiene but years ago I stayed in a holiday rental where the previous holiday makers had had Norovirus and my family caught it from the house and then I eventually caught it from them so I fear the rest of my family will contract it even if I keep washing my hands all of the time. 

3 hours ago, Gemma@OCDUK said:

Hi BelAnna,

You have moved so much in the past six months, so well done! That's hard and stressful at the best of times, let alone when you have OCD too. I hope you can at least recognise that what you're doing is hard and that's why it feels hard. 

You mentioned that you do lots of different compulsions around fears for your dog, but also around your concerns about norovirus. There's no simple answer on how to cope better. You can try to gauge how best to act from how your family are acting or would like to act. You could also pick a few things to target that you could reduce. Remember compulsions keep our distressing emotions high and limiting them will allow the feelings to pass quicker. In situations like this you're always going to have accept more uncertainty than normal and that's hard, but any uncertainty that you can live with will make you stronger the next time you move 

Gemma

Thanks Gemma! I'm finding it so incredibly stressful, particularly as I was quite limited to the house/almost housebound before we moved. 

I will try to limit my cleaning compulsions if possible and to tolerate the uncertainty over both the contamination and responsibility/harm based fears- thank you! 

 

[BelAnna]

2 hours ago, ocdjonesy said:

If you felt up to you could take this new move as a chance to cut down on compulsions - say only hoovering the carpets once thoroughly for instance.  It wouldn't make you feel less stressed but it might begin to chip away at the compulsions you are doing and make the moving process easier for you and therefore less stressful in the long run if you establish a reduced compulsion/no compulsions routine for it.

Thanks OCDjonesy . I will try to reduce my compulsions a bit. One of the issues is that dealing with something simple like vacuuming (which I need to do to make sure the carpet is clear for the aspect of my OCD related to my dog) can be difficult because I cannot touch the vacuum that has been handled by other holiday makers/renters as it may be contaminated without showering afterwards (but then she shower might be 'contaminated' etc). I hate OCD.

Edited April 28, 2022 by BelAnna

[ocdjonesy]

Don't worry I totally get where you're coming from.  I have similar issues with contamination and my cat.  Which really suck when you're a photographer and you have a home dark room and using it involves mopping everything and then trying not to freak out and do it another 6 times.  All you can do is be aware of the fact it's OCD and just try your best but oh my god it's exhausting.

[BelAnna]

8 hours ago, ocdjonesy said:

Don't worry I totally get where you're coming from.  I have similar issues with contamination and my cat.  Which really suck when you're a photographer and you have a home dark room and using it involves mopping everything and then trying not to freak out and do it another 6 times.  All you can do is be aware of the fact it's OCD and just try your best but oh my god it's exhausting.

Oh no, that sounds like a nightmare. OCD is the worst! 

I feel so anxious about moving across to the next holiday rental tomorrow!

[daja]

14 hours ago, BelAnna said:

One of the issues is that dealing with something simple like vacuuming … can be difficult because I cannot touch the vacuum … as it may be contaminated without showering afterwards … I hate OCD.

I have this too for different reasons. Sucks doesn’t it (OCD and the vacuum cleaner…)

[BelAnna]

7 hours ago, daja said:

I have this too for different reasons. Sucks doesn’t it (OCD and the vacuum cleaner…)

It definitely does! Hope you're getting on okay Daja .

[BelAnna]

Thanks for the support guys. Moving to our next three-week rental (this was just a short 5 night stop) tomorrow so I'm having to face the fear over using the loos/kitchen/shower etc. again tomorrow! 

Edited May 3, 2022 by BelAnna

[determination987]

10 hours ago, BelAnna said:

Thanks for the support guys. Moving to our next three-week rental (this was just a short 5 night stop) tomorrow so I'm having to face the fear over using the loos/kitchen/shower etc. again tomorrow! 

Hope it goes well. You can do this  

[BelAnna]

On 04/05/2022 at 11:00, determination987 said:

Hope it goes well. You can do this  

Thanks Determination987! Unfortunately this place is much worse than some of the others. It's very 70s (which is fine) but also grubby. There is what looks like dried up puke in front of one of the bathroom sinks (which itself has black rotten wood all around it so the few times I've tried to wash my hands there I've become stuck re-washing as I'm worried about my hands or the water touching the rotten wood), some of the beds had hair and brown bits on them (yuck!) and there are disgusting marks on the walls so I'm finding it a huge struggle- I'm scared that we'll contract Norovirus as we did in a similar situation years ago.

In addition to this my family has/ family members have decided to be really difficult so I'm barely coping. I think the uncertainty of this situation and over having any sort of life in the future is really making things hard at the moment. 

Edited May 6, 2022 by BelAnna

[L.M.]

Sending you a hug @BelAnna-that sounds really hard. I hope the situation improves over the next few days for comfort levels for you there.

i hope you can find some nice things to do for yourself throughout the day as a break from the stress of it all. Do you find yourself able to get out on some nice walks or anything? (that's my go to when the stress gets bad, but maybe you have some of your own that fits better for you...)

 

[BelAnna]

On 06/05/2022 at 14:51, L.M. said:

Sending you a hug @BelAnna-that sounds really hard. I hope the situation improves over the next few days for comfort levels for you there.

i hope you can find some nice things to do for yourself throughout the day as a break from the stress of it all. Do you find yourself able to get out on some nice walks or anything? (that's my go to when the stress gets bad, but maybe you have some of your own that fits better for you...)

 

I'm sorry I've only just read this now. Thanks for the hug L.M! We're now moving to another holiday let- so that makes 9 moves in just over six months! 

[Angst]

You must, as a family, have lots of stuff in storage, unless you have jettisoned a lot of stuff. A extreme variant of anti hoarding therapy?!  As a lyric goes -‘wherever I hang my hat that’s my home’. Or an extreme variant of OCD contamination ERP? I am in the midst of planning for a move, so I can testify to the stresses of a move. In hindsight for you,  a six or 12 rental would perhaps have been better. How’s the house hunting going? You are bearing up well!

Edited May 26, 2022 by Angst