I think I acted on it or wanted the thought to actually happen

[NJ321]

I was at work today & a co-worker had to walk to the left side of where I was to put something on the desk by me. But when they did I looked over my shoulder & in my mind it felt like I wanted them to touch into me & like I wanted their breasts to touch my shoulder. I don't think I even moved while having the thought & it felt like I actually wanted it to happen. I might of even looked again. I just don't know anymore. It just genuinely felt like I actually wanted it to happen & it wasn't OCD at all. I just don't know what to think anymore. Even though nothing technically happened it felt like in my mind I genuinely wanted something inappropriate to happen. How can it be OCD if it actually genuinely felt like I wanted it. I'm just sick of this since I can easily at times detect it's OCD than other times it feels literally nothing like it. I don't understand why there's a huge night & day difference at times or if it even is OCD at times.

[Gemma@OCDUK]

Hi NJ321,

9 hours ago, NJ321 said:

How can it be OCD if it actually genuinely felt like I wanted it.

OCD is just thoughts, doubts, images and urges and us then reacting to them like they are important. The content of the thought you mentioned doesn't really matter, what matters is the huge importance you've placed on having the thought, what it means to you to have had the thought and now the rumination about it afterwards. All that stuff is OCD.

Gemma 

 

 

[NJ321]

16 hours ago, Gemma@OCDUK said:

Hi NJ321,

OCD is just thoughts, doubts, images and urges and us then reacting to them like they are important. The content of the thought you mentioned doesn't really matter, what matters is the huge importance you've placed on having the thought, what it means to you to have had the thought and now the rumination about it afterwards. All that stuff is OCD.

Gemma 

 

 

What if it felt like I genuinely wanted it though. Sometimes in some scenarios it legitimately feels like I want something to happen. There's no OCD feeling in the moment but it's in the aftermath where I know it's going to bother me for a long time right after the "incident" happens. Even though in these situations nothing actually happens, what bothers me is the feeling like I genuinely want it though in the moment.

[PolarBear]

Same old, same old. Same old obsession. Same old response.