When is it healthy to reflect on the past?

[determination987]

When is it healthy to reflect on the past? If you take OCD out of the equation, then lots of advice encourages you to look at past mistakes to learn from them, to make amends or to make peace with it. 

The issue with OCD is that it often distorts the past and something that others would see as just normal growing up mistakes, I could potentially see as catastrophic or evidence of being a failure.

This comes from waking up this morning and dreaming of a past event. In my dream, I’m desperately trying to clarify certainty and to fix things that went wrong. I woke up confused and now it’s swirling in my head about an ‘event’ from over ten years ago. 

Sometimes it feels like it’s a normal part of life to analyse past mistakes or scenarios and to figure out what you can do to make it better but this feels like a sneaky OCD trap too. My anxiety is high and I googled a few things and now I’m wondering if I’ve suppressed the thoughts and that it’s not OCD and I should make peace with them and accept them, not forget about them. 
 

After a good day yesterday, why does it come at me in my dreams

[Gemma@OCDUK]

8 minutes ago, determination987 said:

When is it healthy to reflect on the past? If you take OCD out of the equation, then lots of advice encourages you to look at past mistakes to learn from them, to make amends or to make peace with it. 

The issue with OCD is that it often distorts the past and something that others would see as just normal growing up mistakes, I could potentially see as catastrophic or evidence of being a failure.

This comes from waking up this morning and dreaming of a past event. In my dream, I’m desperately trying to clarify certainty and to fix things that went wrong. I woke up confused and now it’s swirling in my head about an ‘event’ from over ten years ago. 

Sometimes it feels like it’s a normal part of life to analyse past mistakes or scenarios and to figure out what you can do to make it better but this feels like a sneaky OCD trap too. My anxiety is high and I googled a few things and now I’m wondering if I’ve suppressed the thoughts and that it’s not OCD and I should make peace with them and accept them, not forget about them. 
 

After a good day yesterday, why does it come at me in my dreams

Hi determination987,

It's typical that a dream has triggered some worry and doubt for you. Try your best to stop googling and chalk this up as a dream and nothing more. I think the marker for dwelling on the past needs to be how you feel. If you are thinking of the past full of anxiety and doubt then I would stop what you're doing and focus on the present. If you can think back without strong feelings and without judgement then that's probably OK. I would say that any lessons learnt from the past are typically learnt at the time or soon after, usually reviewing something months or years later is a negative behaviour that will just tie you in knots.

Gemma

 

 

[James M]

Hi, I have experienced a similar thing myself and for some reason my anxiety and intrusive thoughts are far greater in the morning. Not sure if it helps, but I have points down when I can think rationally and read them when I am in a bad place as it helps transition to more rational thoughts. 

[James M]

Hi, I have experienced a similar thing myself and for some reason my anxiety and intrusive thoughts are far greater in the morning. Not sure if it helps, but I have written points down when I think rationally and read them when I am in a bad place as it helps transition to more rational thoughts. 

Edited May 3, 2022 by James M

[determination987]

36 minutes ago, Gemma@OCDUK said:

Hi determination987,

It's typical that a dream has triggered some worry and doubt for you. Try your best to stop googling and chalk this up as a dream and nothing more. I think the marker for dwelling on the past needs to be how you feel. If you are thinking of the past full of anxiety and doubt then I would stop what you're doing and focus on the present. If you can think back without strong feelings and without judgement then that's probably OK. I would say that any lessons learnt from the past are typically learnt at the time or soon after, usually reviewing something months or years later is a negative behaviour that will just tie you in knots.

Gemma

 

 

Thanks Gemma,

You're right, I dealt with it at the time as best as I could and in reality it wasn't a big issue in the grand scheme of things. I'm always worried that I've wasted people's time ( I do this on here too) and this relates to that a lot. I cringe at 'past me' and wish I could go back and change things which is obviously impossible and unnecessary. I think the issue is that 'current me' has an obsession about doing everything just right and not offending anyone but 'past me' was not concerned with that at all.

I'm going to practice mindfulness and not go any further down the past route.

Thanks for your advice

[determination987]

28 minutes ago, James M said:

Hi, I have experienced a similar thing myself and for some reason my anxiety and intrusive thoughts are far greater in the morning. Not sure if it helps, but I have written points down when I think rationally and read them when I am in a bad place as it helps transition to more rational thoughts. 

Thanks James,

Yes, often when I'm feeling less anxious and able to process things without OCD's hold, I can see them logically and they are non issues or past mistakes that everyone makes. I remember waking up in the night and struggling to go back to sleep which is where the anxiety came from I think. I find the anxiety on a morning much harder because it's often before I'm fully conscious so the ability to label it and move on is weakened. It feels more real because I've been dreaming it for hours, so doing compulsions before I'm even awake and then my anxiety is already super high and it's much more difficult to do anything else.

I'm thinking about maybe setting a plan for the morning so that when my anxiety is high, I have a focus. Or would that be another thing to develop into a ritual. Agh, it's so difficult sometimes. 

Hope yours has been okay this morning and thanks for your response.