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So scared about starting my new job next week


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Hi everybody, hope your all having a lovely evening :) 

I’ve just been doing some reflecting, I do feel incredibly grateful I’ve been offered such an amazing opportunity career wise with this apprenticeship, however I don’t want to think I can run before I can walk. I’m going to discuss with the occupational health and my new manager before starting the role, I want to be completely honest with them about how it effects me and hopefully they’ll consider reasonable adjustments…. I’ll be so grateful, the hours are 9:00AM to 17:30PM so it’s quite a long day Monday to Friday. Hopefully they’ll be understanding :) 

 

I start next Monday, if I’m honest my OCD is really trying to bite my head off with it all. I’m excited but I’m my head the ‘What ifs’ are slowly creeping in again. I’m really worried I’ll develop a crush or fancy….. I know it’s a stupid thought but even ‘fall in love’ with my new supervisor even though he isn’t my type plus he’s 25/26 so a bit older than me. I just hate the idea of being disrespectful and this awful person for fancying somebody in a relationship, so hopefully with help from my therapist I can overcome this fear and make a good future for myself alongside the ocd :) I’m trying to be positive just extremely nervous. Even when my supervisor message’s me over WhatsApp about the role and apprenticeship details I feel funny, like I’m already cheating ( I know it’s so stupid right.) 

I think it’s because my boyfriend is a weed smoker, so automatically he’s very paranoid in general. I know if I told him about these particular thoughts in general he’d be like ‘what the F?, you cheating on me?’ Or maybe that’s my overthinking, no he’d definitely react like that it’s so frustrating. We’ve been working on things and he’s effort has stepped up a lot so I’m just seeing how it goes, however the idea of me being disrespectful in a relationship in any way possible just makes me feel sick! Just really hoping The ocd doesn’t get involved like it loves too! 🙄

 

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Hi Summer,

Just wanted to highlight this

17 hours ago, Summer9173 said:

the idea of me being disrespectful in a relationship in any way possible just makes me feel sick!

This is what OCD is using against you. If you feel like cheating is the worst thing you could do, or anything like cheating, then OCD is going to go looking for that threat. That's why when you're in conversation with your supervisor, OCD is essentially wanting you to be sure that you haven't been disrespectful in any way. If you can see what OCD is looking out for and how it's making you feel, then it is easier to not engage with the doubt. 

Good luck with your new position. Remember that you can ask for reasonable adjustments, and if you do find it is too much then you are allowed to say so and leave if you choose to. No one will force you to keep going. Giving it a go is a massive achievement so be proud of yourself :)

Gemma

 

 

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18 hours ago, Summer9173 said:

I’m going to discuss with the occupational health and my new manager before starting the role, I want to be completely honest with them about how it effects me and hopefully they’ll consider reasonable adjustments…

This approach is very similar to the procedure I went though many years ago.  I had mentioned my mental health matters at interview.  Before I could start the job I had to have an occupational health assessment.  I mentioned to the Doctor about my mental health and in particular the OCD.  At that time I had gone through a significant recovery phase.  Based on the discussion the Doctor passed me as fit to do the job that I was to hoping to start.  I started the job a week or two later.

So like you say being open with them is a good approach.

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