Jump to content

Recommended Posts

Hi there,

My adult son, 20, has recently got very severe ocd. It has got steadily worse for the last 3 months. He lives away from us and we would like him to move back with us now so we can help him access treatment. However he wants to wait to the end of July when the tenancy on his flat is up.

He doesn’t have a job and his girlfriend is really upset and is calling us trying to get some help.

He won’t see us unless ‘things are right’ which means something to do with his compulsions. So it is near impossible to communicate with him.

his girlfriend tells us he is really keen to see us but obviously his ocd is making it hard for him.

how do we get him to come back now and not in 2 months time when I imagine he will be even worse?

 

Link to comment

Hi CaringParent,

I'm so sorry your son is struggling with his OCD- it must be very worrying for you. 

I'm not sure you can necessarily/how you would, get him move back with you but could you ask if he will agree to seeing (or arranging a phone appointment with) his GP for a referral either for CBT or to the local CMHT. Maybe you could talk to his girlfriend about treatment options too or ask her to suggest that he moves in with you sooner. 

I hope things improve really soon for you both.

Link to comment

Hi CaringParent,

If you son is registered with a GP in England, then he can self-refer to his local Improving Access to Psychological Therapies (IAPT) service. IAPT services can offer Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, which is the current recommended psychological treatment for OCD. Your local IAPT is based on where your GP is registered, so his local IAPT may be where he is now, or where his family home is. Either way, most services can offer remote therapy via telephone or video call, so it might not matter if he lives near his IAPT. 

You can find local IAPT services here https://www.nhs.uk/service-search/mental-health/find-a-psychological-therapies-service/

Gemma

 

 

Link to comment
On 29/05/2022 at 15:36, CaringParent said:

Hi there,

My adult son, 20, has recently got very severe ocd. It has got steadily worse for the last 3 months. He lives away from us and we would like him to move back with us now so we can help him access treatment. However he wants to wait to the end of July when the tenancy on his flat is up.

He doesn’t have a job and his girlfriend is really upset and is calling us trying to get some help.

He won’t see us unless ‘things are right’ which means something to do with his compulsions. So it is near impossible to communicate with him.

his girlfriend tells us he is really keen to see us but obviously his ocd is making it hard for him.

how do we get him to come back now and not in 2 months time when I imagine he will be even worse?

 

It's very hard to know what your son is thinking and how his OCD is affecting him. As you say, he is an 'adult' so you can't really put any pressure on him.

That might not be good for him. So being supportive and patient is probably a good approach. Maybe he feels that he will be in a better position in July.

Link to comment

New Development.

we are with him now and he has agreed to come with us today (we have been talking about for the last few days so he is ‘ready’)

he said to his girlfriend this morning that it was time to go home.

we are now at his house trying to pack some of his things, but his ocd won’t let him let pack up and he’s now overwhelmed. 
we obviously don’t know what the right thing to do is, he really wants to come with but he’s not able.

for now we are just going to wait until he is able to talk about it again.

any advice appreciated.

 

Link to comment
2 hours ago, CaringParent said:

New Development.

we are with him now and he has agreed to come with us today (we have been talking about for the last few days so he is ‘ready’)

he said to his girlfriend this morning that it was time to go home.

we are now at his house trying to pack some of his things, but his ocd won’t let him let pack up and he’s now overwhelmed. 
we obviously don’t know what the right thing to do is, he really wants to come with but he’s not able.

for now we are just going to wait until he is able to talk about it again.

any advice appreciated.

 

I think the trick is to not push him and make it clear that it's OK for him to take his time packing and that if it takes a while to get everything sorted then that's fine. If he needs to have a break from packing to try and deal with everything then that's OK too.

Has he told you what it is exactly that's overwhelming him?

Link to comment

Is there a chance he could perhaps take some essential things with him today, and then you all come back at a later date, maybe in a few days or a week's time, to get the rest of his stuff? Obviously I don't know if this is feasible or not depending on distances but I thought it was worth mentioning as an idea. Especially as you said his tenancy doesn't run out until July so he's got plenty of time to move everything.

Edited by Lynz
Link to comment

We did suggest coming back later for things, but there’s intrusive thoughts to do with leaving things and security.

And we do live a long way away, which is making it harder for him. I would be fine going today and coming back tomorrow. He sees it as a barrier.

Edited by CaringParent
Link to comment

I just called 111 for some advice and he freaked out and now he’s saying he won’t come with us because he doesn’t trust us.

i don’t think he can look after himself and I don’t want to leave him alone in his house all alone in case he tries to to hurt himself.

i am at a loss. 

Link to comment

Just an update on the situation.

We are still here and he is taking his time trying to get sorted.

He hasn’t started packing yet but he’s working up to it.

we will stay here as long as it takes and just offer support.

Link to comment

Update.

He was having terrible time of it yesterday. 
i had a really good pep-talk with him to try and help him see that everyone (including him) except the illness wanted the same thing.

From somewhere he found the energy and grit to pack his stuff and come with us it wasn’t easy, but he did it. I’m so proud of him.

We finally made it home this morning.

I know this is the beginning and not the end but thank you for the support on this post it has really helped me cope. 

 

Link to comment
19 hours ago, CaringParent said:

Update.

He was having terrible time of it yesterday. 
i had a really good pep-talk with him to try and help him see that everyone (including him) except the illness wanted the same thing.

From somewhere he found the energy and grit to pack his stuff and come with us it wasn’t easy, but he did it. I’m so proud of him.

We finally made it home this morning.

I know this is the beginning and not the end but thank you for the support on this post it has really helped me cope. 

 

That's great news 😊. Glad to hear you all made it home. Hopefully your son will be able to access treatment soon and start his journey to recovery.

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...