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I’m currently having a massive panic attack in my new job


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2 hours ago, Caramoole said:

Sit it out.  Concentrate on what you're doing, go get a drink, take 5 mins in the loo and watch that rumination & self-talk :)

Thank you Caramoole, I had the worst harm thoughts ever I just wanted to run away. I fear I won’t sleep now even though today went okay I’ve got home and had a massive breakdown I just really need somebody to talk too I don’t think I can do full time :( 

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2 hours ago, dawn12111 said:

Hi  Summer, youre doing great!  you should be proud you went today keep fighting it lovely , im sure you can do it x

Thank you so much Dawn, I feel so poorly after I got home, I can’t explain the feeling I’m just so scared I’m going to go downhill again as this is massive exposure as well as my future. I’m very worried I’m going to end up depressed again my heart feels like it’s burning xx

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1 hour ago, Kcbell92 said:

Stay strong!! I deal with it too, you too will overcome it like I do 

Thank you so much 💕 do you work full time too? I don’t know how I’m going to manage this I just wish I could work from home :( 

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1 hour ago, Indecisive7 said:

You made it to your new workplace and you're there- that's brilliant!

I'm so sorry you had a panic attack there, are you okay now?

I’m feeling okay now I’m out of the office, I just don’t want to push myself to far and feel like I’ve completely burned out. I think I’m scared I’m going to make myself worse before I get better xx

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I don’t think I can do this job I feel like mentally I’m not prepared enough :( I have another job that’s part time that I’m meant to be going back to on the 20h and I feel like that’s probably going to be better 

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7 minutes ago, Summer9173 said:

Thank you so much 💕 do you work full time too? I don’t know how I’m going to manage this I just wish I could work from home :( 

I do yes and your welcome. I work 55-65 hours a week and it can be very  mentally draining but I get through it 

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18 minutes ago, Kcbell92 said:

I do yes and your welcome. I work 55-65 hours a week and it can be very  mentally draining but I get through it 

Oh my how on earth do you do it? I’ve just got home and I feel like an absolute wreck! The fact I have to do it all over again tomorrow just makes me want to cry 🥺 I don’t think I can work full time I don’t know what to do xx

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4 hours ago, Summer9173 said:

Oh my how on earth do you do it? I’ve just got home and I feel like an absolute wreck! The fact I have to do it all over again tomorrow just makes me want to cry I don’t think I can work full time I don’t know what to do xx

You're exhausted because you've tried to do two jobs instead of one. Only half your brain was on the job while the other half has been ruminating, checking yourself, doing a million compulsions to offset the fear of being attracted to anybody at work. No wonder you're tired.

How do people with OCD manage to work fulltime? They catch themselves wasting energy on their compulsions and without judgement they gently bring their focus back to the real job immediately. And they refocus, and refocus, and drag their concentration back to the real job over and over throughout the day no matter how strong the pull to ruminate on their OCD thoughts.

With practise, and as you get more involved in the new job, your concentration won't drift as much. Once you get used to working, staying focused for longer periods than you're used to, and as you gradually 'learn the job' then the day will be a lot less tiring.

It's the same as exercise. Nobody can go from being a couch potato one day to running a marathon the next. You have to exercise regularly and build up your fitness and stamina bit by bit. And you do that by going to work tomorrow, and the next day, and the next, and hanging on in there. :)

 

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I've got to reiterate everything Snowbear says.  You're learning new skills & building new muscles and all in the face of anxiety.  Deep breaths.  Checks on the rumination.  Concentration on the tasks. Praise yourself for little achievements.  Trust yourself.  In truth, all is well

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20 hours ago, Summer9173 said:

Oh my how on earth do you do it? I’ve just got home and I feel like an absolute wreck! The fact I have to do it all over again tomorrow just makes me want to cry 🥺 I don’t think I can work full time I don’t know what to do xx

I put my thoughts and compulsions as just that and fight through and I do it. You can too 

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@snowbear @Caramoole Thank you so much to The both of you 💖 I really took your advice on today and let the fears be while I carried on with my work and I’m really proud of myself, even better I loved the work too :) 

I must say though, because the harm thoughts weren’t bothering me because I could let them be if tried to hang on to something else. I saw @Rosie01 (I think that’s The write lady) had a similar issue, but I’m now extremely focused on my gronial response and feeling ‘turned on’ if that’s a way you could put it while in work which is frustrating. I’m trying to let it be but I think it’s a little harder with the gronial response, would I also deal with this the same way too? It’s extremely difficult to deal with it in work 8:30-5

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18 minutes ago, Summer9173 said:

I really took your advice on today and let the fears be while I carried on with my work and I’m really proud of myself, even better I loved the work too :) 

Yay :cheer:  Well done. The more you get into the job and enjoy being there the easier it will get to keep your focus off any OCD issues.

19 minutes ago, Summer9173 said:

I think it’s a little harder with the gronial response, would I also deal with this the same way too? It’s extremely difficult to deal with it in work 8:30-5

Not really any harder because it's no different.

This is about what you choose to focus on.

You can choose the harm thoughts, the relationship angle, the physical sensations in your groin area  etc :(

OR you can choose to focus on your new job, learning the ropes and making new friends. :)

Every time you lose focus and your mind drifts back to whatever OCD issue is trying to drag you down, just take a breath and refocus on the job.

When I was working I found it helpful to ringfence my work time. Strictly no OCD thoughts allowed! If my OCD intruded on my work time in any way I'd immediately set it aside and say to myself 'I'll deal with that after work'. More often than not by the time I got home I'd forgotten all about whatever had seemed so pressing in the moment. Thinking of your work time as 'protected space/time' where OCD has no say can help you train your brain to cope with longer periods of resisting compulsions. So a win-win. :) 

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1 hour ago, snowbear said:

Yay :cheer:  Well done. The more you get into the job and enjoy being there the easier it will get to keep your focus off any OCD issues.

Not really any harder because it's no different.

This is about what you choose to focus on.

You can choose the harm thoughts, the relationship angle, the physical sensations in your groin area  etc :(

OR you can choose to focus on your new job, learning the ropes and making new friends. :)

Every time you lose focus and your mind drifts back to whatever OCD issue is trying to drag you down, just take a breath and refocus on the job.

When I was working I found it helpful to ringfence my work time. Strictly no OCD thoughts allowed! If my OCD intruded on my work time in any way I'd immediately set it aside and say to myself 'I'll deal with that after work'. More often than not by the time I got home I'd forgotten all about whatever had seemed so pressing in the moment. Thinking of your work time as 'protected space/time' where OCD has no say can help you train your brain to cope with longer periods of resisting compulsions. So a win-win. :) 

Thank you snowbear ☺️Its crazy to think how powerful the human mind can be though (not me ruminating but In genuine shock) a couple of months ago I was bed bound, thinking and truly believing I was a danger to people. But I also believe knowledge is power, the more I’ve learnt about my ocd and joined the support groups alongside therapy and gradual exposure it’s like ocd is trying to fight and it’s throwing a load of tantrums but I can get more stronger in the process :) 

 

I think what also helps is because I’m in a job I find quite exciting, I’ve always wanted to do HR so I feel more motivated to go into work. I am still aware I’ll have bad days as well as good but I think I’m starting to realise it can get better and you can get out of a dark place with ocd :) 

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3 hours ago, Summer9173 said:

@Ross Knight @Kcbell92 Thank you so much guys it went really well today so I’m really happy, never let a bad experience dictate your life :) 

No you can’t, and I’ve learned that in my recovery. And also don’t always look for re assurance in your compulsions and we all do it here because we have ocd and always make it worst case and want people to re assure us it’s fine and everything is okay, and even if it is and people say it’s fine and okay too, you may feel a temporary relief but the anxiety and compulsion will just find it’s way back and even worse because people are answering you, therefore feeding into your compulsion. I am happy and proud of you though and I know how it feels 

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