A realization in my ocd, (Truama triggers) and the reason why it’s so powerful

[Kcbell92]

I recently have realized again through CBT and im going to start a new medication in 3 weeks but as of now it’s weakened clearly again but anyway 

I noticed regarding what’s my worst ocd worry issue is definitely the friendship situation I’ve mentioned so many times, and I realized the reason I am comparing this good new friend now to the old friend especially now in the sense of bailing out and not meaning nice things they say about me bc the old friend always said great things about me and then always bailed out and every other detail I said. 
 

But lastly, generally speaking it’s very based off of Trauma triggers. I remember someone here saying obviously there’s an underlining connection between this friend and the new friend and otherwise then that I’ve realized I’m very triggered and sensitive to my friend now just telling me that he’s with other friends sometimes and otherwise posting pics and videos, bc that’s what the old friend did right after bailing out on me a lot  too. And I just am trying to separate the traumas triggers bc then I do CBT techniques and they help, but then suddenly hours later my mind wanders onto Trauma triggers and worst case thinking and then it immediately has me saying and convincing myself that “this new friend is not going to do anything positive at all and is going to do and only means to do everything worst case in every way always” i don’t know why I’m back to this level and I think a change in meds plus continued CBT can help but I’m having extreme anxiety that when we’re gonna hangout June 4 right before this friend will bail out again and I have to separate myself from that