So upset

[Summer9173]

I just told my mum about my harm thoughts and she started screaming at me crying and screaming I’m so broken I don’t think I can go to work tomorrow 

[MarieJo]

How upsetting for you. It is extremely difficult for non sufferers to understand ocd, really hard. It's hard enough for us to get our heads around. Hopefully when your mum finds out a bit more information about the disorder she will have more understanding and empathy. At the moment she must be really scared and confused. I never really told my parents for this very reason. I know they just wouldn't get it. Now you have told her, which incidently is very brave, you cannot untell her so you just need to try to get her to better understand that you have a fairly common disorder and maybe get her to read up on some literature. Hope you're OK and if you don't go to work then that's understandable as you've had an upset but try to get back to normal as soon as possible x

Edited May 30, 2022 by MarieJo

[Summer9173]

I’m so sorry everybody I’m so distressed from how today was and my mum screaming at me has just made it worse, it’s 10pm and she’s still having a go at me I don’t think I’m going to sleep well tonight I don’t think I’m ready for life 

[Caramoole]

Not time to throw the towel in after one day Summer.....Time to walk away from your Mum, go to bed and go to work tomorrow but ready for the thoughts.  Don't let them catch you out.....don't engage.

[Summer9173]

1 minute ago, Caramoole said:

Not time to throw the towel in after one day Summer.....Time to walk away from your Mum, go to bed and go to work tomorrow but ready for the thoughts.  Don't let them catch you out.....don't engage.

I know Caramoole thank you, you always make me see sense and I know this deep down it’s because it’s a new environment and I’m really not familiar with it. I know I can do this and I’m really proud of myself, I know I have the strength. Can people with ocd hold down a full time job? I think I’m just scared of burning out completely 

[Caramoole]

55 minutes ago, Summer9173 said:

Can people with ocd hold down a full time job? I think I’m just scared of burning out completely 

Yes, they can It's not easy committing yourself to being there all day, every day when you've been at home so long.....especially when you've got yourse,f so wound up before you even started.  You need to get used to being there, to the people, to the job itself....once those things get familiar and you become a part of that team and know what you're doing, things will get better.  Don't be taken aback by OCD thoughts when they strike......harm thoughts, fancying thoughts, any other thought...be ready, think "Gotcha"  Start to build trust in yourself rather than depending on outside sources to soothe you and calm you down.  You're still very young and it takes time to build those skills and confidence but start building that muscle.  I know it would be lovely to depend on your Mum but she is who she is.  That said, you don't need to put up with it.  Just say "Mum, I'm sorry you're upset but I don't need this just now" and walk away.  No need to shout or get into a fight just walk away....remove yourself from the tension.  Tomorrow's another day, it will be Wednesday soon and a long weekend.  Stick with it

[dawn12111]

Hope you are feeling better today. Yesterday was a tough day for you but you made it through until the end and you should be so so proud of your achevement.

Hopefully today you will feel a little more at ease as you are aware of your surroundings and yes you will feel anxious as it is new  but  dont let it win .

Try to remember Hope is greater than the Fear.

 

 

Edited May 31, 2022 by dawn12111

[Summer9173]

19 hours ago, Caramoole said:

Yes, they can It's not easy committing yourself to being there all day, every day when you've been at home so long.....especially when you've got yourse,f so wound up before you even started.  You need to get used to being there, to the people, to the job itself....once those things get familiar and you become a part of that team and know what you're doing, things will get better.  Don't be taken aback by OCD thoughts when they strike......harm thoughts, fancying thoughts, any other thought...be ready, think "Gotcha"  Start to build trust in yourself rather than depending on outside sources to soothe you and calm you down.  You're still very young and it takes time to build those skills and confidence but start building that muscle.  I know it would be lovely to depend on your Mum but she is who she is.  That said, you don't need to put up with it.  Just say "Mum, I'm sorry you're upset but I don't need this just now" and walk away.  No need to shout or get into a fight just walk away....remove yourself from the tension.  Tomorrow's another day, it will be Wednesday soon and a long weekend.  Stick with it

Good evening Caramoole, thank you for your lovely kind reply, I just wanted to let everybody know despite my awful first day yesterday ocd wise today was a really good success and I’m extremely proud of myself  I really took yours and snowbears advice on as well as everybody else’s and it really helped me so much so I want to say thank you (sending virtual hugs) for helping me find my strength to get through today 

[Summer9173]

7 hours ago, dawn12111 said:

Hope you are feeling better today. Yesterday was a tough day for you but you made it through until the end and you should be so so proud of your achevement.

Hopefully today you will feel a little more at ease as you are aware of your surroundings and yes you will feel anxious as it is new  but  dont let it win .

Try to remember Hope is greater than the Fear.

 

 

Hiya Dawn  I’m very proud to say today was a big success !! Thank you so much I will keep the forums updated with my progress at work  

[Caramoole]

Well Done Summer You should be rightfully proud of yourself

[Summer9173]

52 minutes ago, Caramoole said:

Well Done Summer You should be rightfully proud of yourself

Thank you Caramoole I am celebrating my success tonight by being kind to myself for the first time I’m months, Of course I get scared to feel happy and feel like I’ve achieved something In case the ocd hits, but at the same time it’s really comforting to know I can do the things I thought I’d never be able to do again  

[dawn12111]

You should be so proud, just been on the zoom meeting and heared how well you got on, remember tomorrow is another day and you can do it . Well done x

[Summer9173]

On 31/05/2022 at 21:33, dawn12111 said:

You should be so proud, just been on the zoom meeting and heared how well you got on, remember tomorrow is another day and you can do it . Well done x

Thank you so much Dawn Unfortunately the past couple of days of having covid has given me a bit of a wobble with the intrusive thoughts because I haven’t been outside in a couple of days because I’ve been isolating, I hope work this week will be ok too xx