Moving House

[Busy Fool]

Hi,

I'm in the process of moving house and I said to myself that I am leaving my OCD at the old house and starting new.  This actually worked initially but in just over a week, it's started up again and it's spiralled out of control today where all of the new stuff feels contaminated.  This wasn't helped by a plaster I saw yesterday on the school run; I don't believe I stood on it but didn't see if my son did and he then stood on my foot and sock.  Any tips on how to stop this as I feel it's going to get out of control!  Any good worksheets I can try?  Thank you.

[Angst]

‘I don’t believe I stood on it’ and ‘didn’t see if my son did’. So it seems that a glance at a plaster becomes a source of contamination. The ‘incident’ was outside your property. I don’t suffer from contamination OCD but wouldn’t like to walk in dog poo! The same principles apply - let it go. Easier said than to do! Don’t frantically clean or condon off contaminated areas.

 

[determination987]

1 hour ago, Busy Fool said:

Hi,

I'm in the process of moving house and I said to myself that I am leaving my OCD at the old house and starting new.  This actually worked initially but in just over a week, it's started up again and it's spiralled out of control today where all of the new stuff feels contaminated.  This wasn't helped by a plaster I saw yesterday on the school run; I don't believe I stood on it but didn't see if my son did and he then stood on my foot and sock.  Any tips on how to stop this as I feel it's going to get out of control!  Any good worksheets I can try?  Thank you.

I feel like this every morning - that I want a fresh, clean slate and to leave the OCD behind. For me, I feel like this is giving OCD more power and seeing it as something to fight or avoid. 

Your brain wants to protect you. In your case, it’s found contamination as something to focus on and distort and take over. 

What would you have been doing if you didn’t see the plaster and started to analyse it? What would you have wanted to do with your day if you weren’t ruminating? 

Try not to wish the thoughts away but notice them and do what you’d have been doing anyway. Positive and beneficial activities are good . Your mind will likely keep coming back to plaster and replaying it or questioning it but observe it and gently bring your mind back to the present moment.

Moving house can be stressful and OCD tends to thrive on that. Take some moments for yourself and be kind to yourself too. 

[snowbear]

48 minutes ago, determination987 said:

I want a fresh, clean slate and to leave the OCD behind. For me, I feel like this is giving OCD more power and seeing it as something to fight or avoid. 

I agree. I tried 'leaving my OCD behind' every time I moved house, changed job, started a new relationship, every New Year's day, every birthday, every...anyway you get my drift!

Sad but true, you can't just leave OCD behind because of an outside change. It will always catch up with you because it exists only in your mind, it's not something physical you can drop or discard on a whim.

So you have to change what's on the inside. Change the way you think.

One very useful thing came out of all those 'make a new start' failures.   I learned (eventually!) that it's not about wiping the slate clean and starting over.

A better analogy is to 'draw a line under all that's gone before'.

Resolve to try to do things differently from here on, but don't give up trying the moment you get caught out by that first compulsion. Don't fall into the 'it's all or nothing' trap.

Acknowledge to yourself that you tried. That habit, strong compulsive urges, circumstances or whatever else got in the way and resolve again to keep trying no matter what.

With practise - and a lot of self-forgiveness while you practise and learn new thinking and behaviours - eventually not doing the compulsion becomes your new default response.  

Just takes time and practise, and more practise...

But if I'd practised drawing a line under my 'mistakes' and actually resisting compulsions  as many times as I tried to simply wipe the slate clean and make a fresh start   I'd have recovered from my OCD decades earlier!

[James M]

I moved house before the pandemic and had the biggest meltdown ever in front of everyone so know how stressful it can be. Let it go and focus on enjoying your new chapter in your new home.

[Busy Fool]

Thank you all.  It's not been getting any better, had a very bad day yesterday.  Today, I'm going to 'draw a line under all that's gone before' as per snowbear and try to be more positive.