Sorry failing again

[Ma29]

Hello,

Sorry to let everyone down but I’m starting to fall into a trap again and need some support please. 
 

I was on the phone to my sister, and at the same time getting some books for my baby from the shelf whilst holding him. My hand was in between his legs / nappy area because that’s how I was holding him as I was occupied with the other hand. As we moved back from the shelf a signal went off in my brain 

‘don’t move your finger / in a swipe motion because that’s bad’ and automatically what happens? I carry on and move my finger from the hand which was around his nappy/ in between his legs ) whilst in process of repositioning. Now I would most likely have had to move my finger anyway to reposition him but everything about this felt wrong. I can’t explain it - am I explaining it well enough? It was like a don’t do it it’s WRONG and then bam it happened and now I feel awful. I want to get into bed but I also don’t want to fall into that cycle again - can someone help pls? It all happened so quickly and at the same time. When it happened an image also comes into my hand of the swipe motion and finger movement - I hate it.
 

Sorry again 

 

[Caramoole]

And as you know, really.....it's just another flash of OCD that has caught you off guard.  It happens, it will happen many times again.  The trick is to recognise this when it happens, ride that immediate surge of anxiety and carry on with what you were doing.  You have to use every tool you have to resist trying to solve anything with compulsions.  You've done that by  heading here but I understand that.....now really work on stopping the rumination, don't take any avoidance, carry on as you were.  Make a drink, put the tea on, prepare dinner, whatever.  It's the buying into it that causes the damage....float past it

[Ma29]

Hey @Caramoole

Thanks. It is a flash of ocd but it’s horrible. Why did I swipe my finger - I feel awful. 

[Caramoole]

1 hour ago, Ma29 said:

Hey @Caramoole

Thanks. It is a flash of ocd but it’s horrible. Why did I swipe my finger - I feel awful. 

You need to put the last question aside.  It's just a flash of OCD, same as before, horrible but not dangerous, not of concern.  This is the next step, learning to recognise this is more of the same old and it needs treating the same, resist the cold pattern of compulsions.  Tomorrow is another day, put this to bed and don't anticipate it happening.  If it does....recognise, deep breath, no compulsions, carry on

How is your Sister?