Nobody Special Posted June 10, 2022 Share Posted June 10, 2022 (edited) The person living below me is a very grumpy old man who banged on my door a month ago and told me if I don't turn off my Alexa (It was at volume 6 by the way) he would come up here and kill me. I called the police and filed an incident report. I didn't have any evidence so I couldn't really do anything, but the officer believed me, and scared him by telling him that death threats are a crime. I also reported it to the landlord, who said they followed up with the police. I haven't had any trouble since, until today. He walked past me but then said "go die" out loud. I am not sure I can do anything about it since again I have no evidence that he said anything, so it would just be hearsay if I try to let my landlord know. Thinking about it rationally, it's hard to say if I am at risk, but my OCD has latched onto this (theme of health/safety). He didn't do anything for the month since his original threat, and he didn't do anything when he ran into me today. So those 2 things suggest I am probably safe. But on the other hand, I've now received 2 death threats from this guy, so it makes me wonder if I should be worried or try to take some sort of [likely futile] action. I welcome any advice. Edited June 10, 2022 by Nobody Special clarity Link to comment
northpaul Posted June 10, 2022 Share Posted June 10, 2022 Do you have a smartphone with some type of voice recording feature on it? That may help in practical terms of evidence for the authorities. Link to comment
howard Posted June 10, 2022 Share Posted June 10, 2022 I'd suggest compromise, turn the volume down on any appliances for a while, then when things have cooled off, talk to him and reach a comromise that works for both of you. He may have his own problems, PTSD or (Alexa)OCD, cancer, who knows. But just talking in a friendly way often breaks down any barriers and then hopefully you can both get along. It's good to have made the initial report to the police, but I'm not sure antagonising him is a good idea. Link to comment
Nobody Special Posted June 10, 2022 Author Share Posted June 10, 2022 2 hours ago, howard said: I'd suggest compromise, turn the volume down on any appliances for a while, then when things have cooled off, talk to him and reach a comromise that works for both of you. He may have his own problems, PTSD or (Alexa)OCD, cancer, who knows. But just talking in a friendly way often breaks down any barriers and then hopefully you can both get along. It's good to have made the initial report to the police, but I'm not sure antagonising him is a good idea. I was strongly advised not to make any compromise in response to a threat because it sends the wrong message. "Want the noises to stop? Bang violently on my door and threaten my existence." Especially since all my noises are very reasonable, so I don't know if it's fair to call it antagonizing. Even the landlord admitted that they get noise complaints about units on the top floor (people other than me) because it's an old building with no insulation. Link to comment
Nobody Special Posted June 10, 2022 Author Share Posted June 10, 2022 2 hours ago, northpaul said: Do you have a smartphone with some type of voice recording feature on it? That may help in practical terms of evidence for the authorities. Yes that is exactly what I will use next time he comes by. I was too shaken when he came by originally. He did not just knock on the door. He BANGED on it and it sounded like a cannon. Ironically, the loudest noise to ever come from my apartment was the noise made by the person complaining about noises and resorting to death threats. Link to comment
Ashley Posted June 10, 2022 Share Posted June 10, 2022 I can understand how your OCD would latch on to this, and the reality is even people without OCD will become anxious and worried by this. I actually don't have any advice on the incident, other than record every incident and talk again to the police and if you are renting, your landlord. Link to comment
Caramoole Posted June 11, 2022 Share Posted June 11, 2022 Obviously people can't go around making threats but as you've muted yourself, do you feel this is a real threat to you where you're in real danger or just a grumpy old man being thoroughly objectionable? Back in the 60/70's and earlier it was very common to use phrases like "I could murder him" or "Do that again and I'll flipping kill you" They were phrases used to Express extreme annoyance or anger at someone's behaviour. I just wonder if being an old person whether they could fall into this category rather than having intent. I'm not the one experiencing this, so clearly don't know how threatened you feel. The Police are now involved so hopefully this will stop but as Howard says, maybe if things settle down you could have a chat and see if you can resolve things a bit Link to comment
howard Posted June 11, 2022 Share Posted June 11, 2022 22 hours ago, Nobody Special said: I was strongly advised not to make any compromise in response to a threat because it sends the wrong message. "Want the noises to stop? Bang violently on my door and threaten my existence." Especially since all my noises are very reasonable, so I don't know if it's fair to call it antagonizing. Even the landlord admitted that they get noise complaints about units on the top floor (people other than me) because it's an old building with no insulation. The reality is the police won't actually do much about 'threats' and the landlord is running a business. It depends on when the building was converted but having people living on top of each other with no insulation, in possible an unsuitable building is really the landlords problem. So hearing your Alexa doing what ever might be his limit, on top of possibly all the other noise from above. I say compromise for a while. Let him see willing and calm down. Then talk about what bothers each of you and reach a compromise. You will probably have to share the same overall space afterwards so a peaceful, unantagonistic approach may bring that about. Link to comment
Angst Posted June 15, 2022 Share Posted June 15, 2022 A perennial problem in flats. New build can have problems as well. Especially with laminate or wood rather than carpet with underlay. My door has been banged on several times over the years to be met by raised fists after I complained about music till the early hours of the morning. Thank goodness the family move to Ibiza. They were very quick to complain about my radio and the Buddhist couple who once spend a few hours marking the death of their father in the appropriate way for their religion. My elderly uncle used to have his telly on so loud you could it next door in a 1930s semi detached house. It’s why in so parts of the country detached houses have become more expensive! As said, keep a record. As Howard says conciliation and compromise is generally the answer. And as Caramoole says i could be a style of speech. Link to comment
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