Cheating OCD

[boo5920]

This really has a hold on me and I’m always feeling like a bad person!

I’ve always had problems with drinking and worrying that I’ve cheated on a partner or said something which may break me and my partner apart, even in previous relationships.

I just can’t seem to shake this one, I had a thought once when drunk that I wanted to kiss someone. I can’t remember my reaction to the thought or really much after I had the thought. Or anything before, I woke up and just remembered me thinking this. My friends were with my pretty much the entire time that night and said I was absolutely fine and wouldn’t stop going on about my boyfriend the whole night. 
 

I absolutely adore him and as soon as I woke the next morning and that came into my mind just uncontrollable guilt and upset. I would never want to hurt him which is why I’m so baffled why I’d have such a thought. The fact that I can’t remember before or after just that thought makes things seem a little fishy like it’s either my brain messing with me or that yeah maybe I had it but I didn’t act on it, as surely I would remember doing something like that! Like why just that thought and nothing else? 
 

It been such a long time since the event and it’s still haunting me.

Please help!

[Serenity77]

I have the exact same thoughts and it is such a tough one.

Cheating OCD is very common and worse where alcohol is concerned. 
 

OCD latches on the the things/people we care most about which is why you are having thoughts of this nature. Sometimes we need to take a step back and realise that real life doesn’t work the way we think it does …. If we had done something wrong we would remember.

OCD is known as the doubting disease for good reason.

Just wanted you know you are not alone x

 

 

[boo5920]

1 hour ago, Serenity77 said:

I have the exact same thoughts and it is such a tough one.

Cheating OCD is very common and worse where alcohol is concerned. 
 

OCD latches on the the things/people we care most about which is why you are having thoughts of this nature. Sometimes we need to take a step back and realise that real life doesn’t work the way we think it does …. If we had done something wrong we would remember.

OCD is known as the doubting disease for good reason.

Just wanted you know you are not alone x

 

 

Thank you so much, this means a lot to know other people struggle with the same thing as me. 
 

It’s literally making me go insane, I’m starting therapy at the end on the month so hopefully this is something I can tackle with my therapist! 
 

I hope you manage to fight this too! X

[James M]

Alcohol and OCD are not good. Maybe give it up for a while whilst you look to find coping mechanisms