Too scared to touch things!

[Cat21]

I have a compulsion with handwashing. I consequently have little cuts on my hands from where they are cracked and dry. 

Because of my fears of getting covid I stopped going to the gym 2 yrs ago but do a bit of outdoor running instead. I saw a new fitness group had started up near me, exercising outdoors so I enquired and then had a panic at the thought if having to touch shared equipment. I thought I could be brave and try the group classes but now I'm so upset I can't do it because of the cuts on my hands. 

Feeling really frustrated

[Angst]

I would be brave and join. Are you at elevated risk of Covid? I found that stopping the compulsion does lead to a temporary spike in anxiety as the fear that lies underneath  the compulsion surfaces into consciousness. You need to ride that fear. Medication can be a temporary help in muting the rise in fear. It sounds as if your fear of Covid has elevated your previous fear. How far did you get with ERP after therapy?

[Juliex]

I understand the frustration.  I think covid is more likely to spread via droplets in the air from an infected person, the cuts on your hands would still have some cover over them, the body temporarily 'covers' the area with clotting etc, so I imagine the virus would not get through that easily.  But I know none of this helps with ocd fears.  

Could you do anything at all there?  Like spending a very small amount of time there to start with, create some sort of exposure plan?

[Handy]

If there are cuts there is an entry point for disease. I’d wear gloves until no more cuts.

Repeatly washing your hands doesn’t protect you more. 

[howard]

Covid-19 and other viruses can be spread in the air, or in droplets that then land on surfaces, or from someone touching surfaces and leaving the virus there.

So you have a low risk of breathing it in in an open area but all surfaces should be wiped down after use.

The mian problem with touching surfaces is that the person then transfers the virus to their mouth, eyes or nose from their hands.

In your case @Cat21 you'd be okay outside. Use moisteriser to mitigate the effects of over washing on your skin. You coud also wear a pair of light gloves until your skin has healed and to protect you from contact with equipment.

Maybe start working on your handwashing compulsions. Just cutting down on it slowly.

[MuseEnthusiast]

At the gym I attend wipes are available for people to use which helps me, would this work for you or something which is offered?

[snowbear]

On 20/06/2022 at 21:01, Cat21 said:

I thought I could be brave and try the group classes but now I'm so upset I can't do it because of the cuts on my hands. 

A lot of advice going on on this thread about wearing gloves and the dangers of having cuts on your hands when viruses are around.  

I'm not saying there's zero risk of a virus being on the surfaces of the gym equipment, but wearing gloves and avoiding going to the gym are compulsions. They maintain the fear rather than deal with the problem.

OCD is very good at convincing us 'I can't do it because...'

A better way of talking to yourself about it is 'I'm not ready to face my fear of doing it yet'

Two ways to deal with this.

1. What would a person without OCD do? (Go to the gym, use the equipment as normal, wash their hands once on returning home because of covid.) Now imagine the person had eczema on their hands. The 'cuts' on their hands from cracked dry skin wouldn't phase them one bit, or change their behaviour. So the 'cuts' aren't the dealbreaker - your OCD fears are.

2. What can you do to normalise your thinking and behaviour as much as possible (as much as you feel able to do at present) without making the OCD worse?

At present, OCD is stopping you from living life how you want. So just going to the gym/ outdoor classes would be a great way to start challenging your OCD.

You can challenge your OCD in steps.

In the current way of the world I doubt many people would raise an eyebrow if you wiped the equipment down where your hands touch it. Doesn't need to be excessive cleaning, nor is it necessary to clean the parts where the rest of your body/ clothes touch it. If the class involves throwing a ball back and forth (for example) then you can't clean every surface, so treat that as good exposure. You can still wash your hands after the class. 

When you're ready to take the next step, stop wiping the equipment and just wash your hands after the class.

Work towards washing your hands just once and just for 2 minutes, no longer.

And do what the person with eczema would do - use handcream to moisturise the skin, then get on with life as if the 'cuts' weren't there.

[Cat21]

Thank you. I really appreciate the replies. It's awful that I got so freaked out by thought of actually booking the session when that's what I wanted to do. I've been working my way up my hierarchy to tackle touching things in public and not washing or gelling my hands straight away. It's so very hard though and the thought of getting covid germs or any other for that matter gets me in an anxious spin! 

It really would be a good exposure exercise and I know that a workout would make me feel good. I wish it wasn't that hard to face my fear! 

I think I could try getting some of those gym fingerless gloves to wear. Part of the problem is that I've never been to this gym class before so I have no idea what to expect exactly. I've only seen a photo showing handweights and a rowing machine etc. 

[snowbear]

Right now anything you can do that isn't outright avoidance is a step in the right direction.

Giving in to fear of the unknown is always far worse than doing it and dealing with the reality. 

Go for it Cat!  Enjoy your exercise class.

[Cat21]

Thanks for the encouragement  

[GreenyGreen23]

Be kind to yourself @Cat21 just to say I often have sore hands and I would worry about similar things. Did you manage to go to the class? 
 

If we can,  we really must face the fear and do it anyway. My therapist said that OCD is like a school bully, if we ignore the bully they will get bored and go away. If we react to the bully they will keep bullying us for that attention. We have to try and not be bullied. We are all kind people here who care, so we deserve to be happy.