Trying to keep it together

[MarieJo]

So my son goes on holiday tomorrow early hours. Half of me is dreading it and half of me wants it over with as it's been in the back of my mind for months. 

What's complicated my emotions further is that my auntie has had covid and after complications has been in a coma for 2 weeks. I have visited her twice and it was horrendous.

I have had to try to be strong as my mum and cousins are in pieces. This has added to my fear for my son as he goes off on holiday. I feel so out of control and afraid  

[NotRock]

You are afraid of feeling too much, overwhelming feelings when your boy will go. Guess what, you are in the future, not now , your mind is controlling you with fear and making you lose the connection with your present life.

Focus day by day and minute by minute, can you endure what you have NOW? (not tomorrow or in a week)  Yes? Perfect!! Go ahead :), you can endure much more you think, wanting to avoid suffering is what put us here

 

Think that this can also be an oportunity to widen your tolerance to anxiety and increase trust on yourself, and that would be great  

[howard]

16 hours ago, MarieJo said:

So my son goes on holiday tomorrow early hours. Half of me is dreading it and half of me wants it over with as it's been in the back of my mind for months. 

What's complicated my emotions further is that my auntie has had covid and after complications has been in a coma for 2 weeks. I have visited her twice and it was horrendous.

I have had to try to be strong as my mum and cousins are in pieces. This has added to my fear for my son as he goes off on holiday. I feel so out of control and afraid  

So how's it going? Did you come up with any strategies or diversions to help you get through.

So you're going to have to be doubly strong and show yourself you can do this.

[Bev53]

Hi MarieJo,

I'm sorry to hear about your Auntie, that must be hard for everyone.

That is a very 'real' situation that you are having to deal with, and you are, you're being strong for everyone else involved.

The worries about your son although completely natural, are based on what 'could' happen, not what 'is' currently happening.

If you catch yourself ruminating and/or catastrophising, what helped me was to try and turn those thoughts around by thinking of happier, more likely scenarios i.e. in this case, your son having a good time with his friends, making new ones, enjoying the sunshine etc. 

The rational part of your brain will know that thousands of young people go on holiday with their friends every year, coming back with nothing more than a lingering hangover and a touch of sunburn, but that's nothing to the good time they have had and the memories they have made.

There is no reason to believe your son will be any different, it's just OCD picking on the things closest to your heart.

I recall you've recently made progress when your son goes out in the UK, take encouragement from that. Take back control of your thoughts, recognise it's all OCD, and as others have said, take each day at a time, try and keep busy, and live in the moment.

Keep trying, you can do this! 

 

 

[MarieJo]

Thank you. The situation of my aunt has reminded me of the fragility of life and seeing her in this awful condition has kind of reinforced my fear that bad things happen but you're right I have to put my son's holiday into perspective. Thank you for your continued support.