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Hi there,

My son lives with us and he has bad ocd and cannot leave the house.

He sleeps all day and is up all night.

he cannot watch, listen or read anything due to his obsessions without one of us being present, so we (my wife and I, one at a time) have taken to staying up with him at night so he can watch TV for some respite.

Obviously this is taking its toll but we feel very stuck and don’t know what to do. 
He is not engaged in treatment. But hopefully will talk to  GP soon and is committed to taking meds as a first step.

Any advice? I’m not sure I can do this much longer.

 

 

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Hi Caring Parent,

What does he get from you being present? Are you reassuring him when he gets triggered or is it just as a general reassuring presence in case he gets triggered?

I'm afraid my only advice is to stop staying up with him at night. Encourage him to get back to a daytime routine as this is much healthier for any mental illness. If he won't switch to days, then I suggest you both go to bed at your normal time and leave him to it. It sounds to me like he's taking advantage of your caring nature and of the siituation in general. Sometimes you need to set boundaries, much as you did when he was a teenager. For example, if there's something he reads/ watches overnight that upsets him you can offer to go over it with him in the morning when you're up, but refuse to engage with his compulsions (reassurance seeking) during sleeping hours, inluding if he wakes you - you say you'll discuss it in the morning and go back to sleep.

Good news that he's willing to take meds as a first step. Don't be afraid to push for the talk to the GP to happen. You can use the fact it takes around 6 weeks for medication to work as reason to get the ball rolling asap. :)

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