Plaguedbyocd Posted July 16, 2022 Share Posted July 16, 2022 Does anyone else ever get thoughts about wanting bad things to happen to people? I’m really struggling Link to comment
determination987 Posted July 16, 2022 Share Posted July 16, 2022 I understand how hard it feels, I really do. I’ve often asked people if they’ve had similar thoughts/situations/experiences etc as I was desperate for reassurance but ultimately it wouldn’t make a difference what they said. Even if someone has had the exact same thoughts as you, the problems aren’t the thoughts but the way that you’ve responded to them. Many people (with or without OCD) have thoughts that feel bad or distressing. What makes it OCD is the way you’re reacted and the compulsions that you’re doing. You said that you’d had therapy on and off I think on another thread? Did you find any strategies helped in the past? I posted some things that helped me on your other thread. Please be kind to yourself and try and do something to give yourself a break from the compulsions. A walk outside maybe or something that you enjoy doing? I find this helps to give a break from the rumination and helps anxiety levels drop. Link to comment
Plaguedbyocd Posted July 16, 2022 Author Share Posted July 16, 2022 The thing is that I’m doing things to drop my anxiety levels and they have dropped, but for me the thoughts are the issue because I need to know if they are true or not. I can’t cope Link to comment
snowbear Posted July 16, 2022 Share Posted July 16, 2022 33 minutes ago, Plaguedbyocd said: I need to know if they are true or not It actually doesn't matter whether the thoughts are true or not. What you're struggling with is the uncertainty of not being sure one way or the other. With OCD even if someone could guarantee 200% the thoughts aren't true you'd still feel doubt, still crave more certainty. And so it goes on. Knowing if they are true (or not true) does nothing at all to ease the feeling of uncertainty. It sounds paradoxical to those who've yet to try it for themselves, but the only thing which does ease that uncertainty feeling is to stop engaging with the thoughts, stop reacting to them. Let them be there and shrug it off as unimportant whether you know the truth or not. Link to comment
Plaguedbyocd Posted July 16, 2022 Author Share Posted July 16, 2022 But what if they are true? I’m struggling with the guilt and shame or I don’t know of thinking that they are true. I’m afraid no one is understanding what I’m saying Link to comment
Plaguedbyocd Posted July 16, 2022 Author Share Posted July 16, 2022 It matters to me if they are true or not Link to comment
Plaguedbyocd Posted July 16, 2022 Author Share Posted July 16, 2022 And then I feel like well I can’t feel that bad because if I did then I’d be hurting myself or something Link to comment
ocdjonesy Posted July 16, 2022 Share Posted July 16, 2022 I want bad things to happen to people I don't like all the time. And I'm fine with that. I actually enjoy thinking about it to be honest. I'm also fine with that. I used to think it meant something and extrapolated the fact I felt like that into a big deal and got all 'this is why no-one likes you' etc etc but no, it's not. It's just thoughts and having them doesn't mean anything because it's not like I'm out there actually trying to hurt those people. I'm just spending some time in my own head. You think no-one understands what you're saying because they aren't exhibiting the same concern about the idea of thinking something as you are but that is not the case. Most people on this forum can probably relate to where you are right now and understand it perfectly well. It's a thing that happens with OCD and you have to learn to just let it be. Link to comment
PolarBear Posted July 16, 2022 Share Posted July 16, 2022 3 hours ago, Plaguedbyocd said: But what if they are true? I’m struggling with the guilt and shame or I don’t know of thinking that they are true. I’m afraid no one is understanding what I’m saying But what if they're not? Then you would have tortured yourself for months/years/decades for nothing. The only way to feel better about this is to let the thoughts go. Ruminating and doing other compulsions will NEVER give you the answer you seek. Link to comment
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