Relapse with Contamination OCD

[sunflowersea]

Hello all.

I have had OCD for my whole life, and I have suffered badly with contamination OCD for about 4 years. Other themes were way more prevalent up until the pandemic where it became one of my ‘top 3’ if you will.

I’ve had an amazing therapist who not only diagnosed me with OCD but gave me incredible ERP & CBT. My therapy came to an end last year, and I truly am so much better for it especially with my moral/scrupulous OCD. 
 

This year I had been making such huge steps with my contamination theme, such as only wearing a medical mask rather than ffp2, got a Dominos pizza takeaway and McDonald’s for the first time in YEARS, didn’t wear a mask whilst at a friends house etc. 

Unfortunately, due to a huge trigger occurring where Covid was in my household (not me or my mum (who is my biggest support)) I am highly in the grips of my obsessions and compulsions regarding my contamination theme and fears. It took me years for my hands to get back to ‘normal’ after extreme washing and in result dermatitis. They are now really bad again, I find I don’t feel safe to do stuff like brush my teeth unless I wash them with a mixture of soap and antibac/viral surface spray.

I am scared to do anything without a mask, even walking outside. I am constantly cleaning all of my possessions like my glasses, book and phone. Constantly washing. Am scared to see friends, go shopping, be in public in general. 
 

I really benefited so much from my most recent therapy, and I don’t want to go through the process of getting on waiting lists, having to find another therapist who actually knows and understands OCD (before my most recent therapist, NONE of them had been great). It’s such a huge effort to even get a phone call with the GP. But I am also back in the grips of this and struggling a lot. Exposures are not worth the risk of potential contamination. It’s just tough. 
 

I don’t know, just wondering if anyone’s experienced/experiencing the same and how I can potentially hope to get out of the grips of this current dip in recovery.

I am currently feeling anxious as I needed ibuprofen from the shop, and as I went to buy them the cashier said have you got ID, which I didn’t, as I have bought it multiple times without ID. For reference although I am young I am well over 18 and look it too. She made me take my mask off to look at my face, which in turn is making me panic I have now exposed myself to ‘covid spores’ in the air. I can’t stop thinking about it. And then she proceeded to let me buy it anyway. Very strange situation - I understand if buying alcohol, of course, but I had ibuprofen which I have bought countless times without this happening to me. 
 

It‘s not helped the situation at all

Advice & help needed x

Edited July 31, 2022 by sunflowersea

[howard]

It's because too much Ibruprofen can have serious health consequenes and can kill you. So it's usually also only sold in small amounts to make sure people do not misuse it(suicide). 

Contamination OCD is I think the most common if you inlclude; dirt, germs(bacteria or virus), chemicals,etc.

Personally it's only a problem if I'm contiually cleaning something I know is perfectly clean, because I already did it. I have certain routines, cleaning anything that comes into contact with my body regularly.

I started wearing a three layered filter mask and gloves in March'20. Washed the gloves and door handles on my return, and avoided public spaces. Just being sensible.

But now after three vaccines I am back to acting normally.

It's understandable if someone caught Covid in your house that you would be triggered and anxious.

So maybe just accept the 'relapse' as a temporary set back and start to aim for that place of 'normality' again.

I'm always trying to look at situations from different viewpoints, it gives objectivity.

I because of my OCD was well prepared for Covid.

I don't believe I've caught it. It's good to be wary of some things like novel viruses or certain chemicals, even dirt. But just take the necessary precautions and know you've done all you can.