To enjoy my birthday in the midst of pain

[Summer9173]

Hi everybody,

So my birthday is tomorrow, I’m feeling bad with my OCD again, my therapist said she can no longer help me because our sessions were up and I haven’t improved so she discharged me, my boyfriend broke up with me - overall broken.

 

But, I think I deserve to have a lovely birthday  I want to go out and let my hair down, I’m turning 20 after all? 

[Rocky2019]

Hi you totally deserve a lovley birthday, go and enjoy yourself like a young person should, your only 20 once x

[Lynz]

Hey Summer. Happy birthday for tomorrow! It's my birthday tomorrow too (I'm turning 34 ). I'm actually going to the Harry Potter studios tour in London/Watford and I don't care that I'm possibly too old to go without any kids present haha.

I'm struggling a lot myself with low mood and anxiety, mainly because I'm still recovering from surgery in June and it's affected me quite a bit mentally and well as physically. I'm determined to try and enjoy my day though. Have you got anything fun planned? Maybe a day out with some friends? I don't know what you're into so I can't really advise on the specifics, but try and choose something fun to do and practically force yourself to do it if you have to, as in my experience I usually feel better once I've actually gone out and about.

Hope you have a lovely day tomorrow

[Caramoole]

Try and do something different, something nice.  Arrange something with a friend or plan a day of little treats for yourself.  Sadly, the older you get you find that Birthdays come & they go and are often quite ordinary.  I think that when you're young birthdays are so exciting that as you get older, the contrast is a bit of an anti climax and we feel let down by our expectations of what we used to feel.

You have to also watch out for rumination......not in an OCD way but just churning the disappointment round in our head.  Try & turn that around and look at the achievements you've made.......going back to work is a big one.  Break ups are painful but maybe it's an opportunity, it may be the year you find someone who will love you for who you are.  Who will be supportive, respect you, put you first.  Think of your birthday as a turning chapter that could see this next year as a really positive one.

I hope you have a lovely day whatever you decide to do........and an even better year  to come 

 

[Summer9173]

2 hours ago, Rocky2019 said:

Hi you totally deserve a lovley birthday, go and enjoy yourself like a young person should, your only 20 once x

Thank you @Rocky2019  I agree, I’ll never be this young again. I don’t want to look back and feel like I wasted my life despite the mental illness. I know it’s going to be hard some days but I want to enjoy my life too x

[Summer9173]

2 hours ago, Lynz said:

Hey Summer. Happy birthday for tomorrow! It's my birthday tomorrow too (I'm turning 34 ). I'm actually going to the Harry Potter studios tour in London/Watford and I don't care that I'm possibly too old to go without any kids present haha.

I'm struggling a lot myself with low mood and anxiety, mainly because I'm still recovering from surgery in June and it's affected me quite a bit mentally and well as physically. I'm determined to try and enjoy my day though. Have you got anything fun planned? Maybe a day out with some friends? I don't know what you're into so I can't really advise on the specifics, but try and choose something fun to do and practically force yourself to do it if you have to, as in my experience I usually feel better once I've actually gone out and about.

Hope you have a lovely day tomorrow

Omg happy birthday @Lynz #birthdaytwins Us Leo’s know how to have a birthday right!! And Harry Potter world is absolutely amazing I went there a couple of years ago!! Never to old for Harry Potter  

 

Oh gosh I’m so sorry  I hope your feeling a little bit better after your surgeryyou’ve been such a massive help to me on the forum pages you deserve an amazing birthday too  

 

I agree I’m going to force myself to go out tomorrow for a meal with my family. I have harm OCD, so eating with knives are a struggle and my anxiety has been very high because my partner has treated me absolutely awful xx

[Summer9173]

2 hours ago, Caramoole said:

Try and do something different, something nice.  Arrange something with a friend or plan a day of little treats for yourself.  Sadly, the older you get you find that Birthdays come & they go and are often quite ordinary.  I think that when you're young birthdays are so exciting that as you get older, the contrast is a bit of an anti climax and we feel let down by our expectations of what we used to feel.

You have to also watch out for rumination......not in an OCD way but just churning the disappointment round in our head.  Try & turn that around and look at the achievements you've made.......going back to work is a big one.  Break ups are painful but maybe it's an opportunity, it may be the year you find someone who will love you for who you are.  Who will be supportive, respect you, put you first.  Think of your birthday as a turning chapter that could see this next year as a really positive one.

I hope you have a lovely day whatever you decide to do........and an even better year  to come 

 

I agree Caramoole, if I’m honest I’m not as excited if anything I get anxious on my birthday now. I think there’s just this pressure to have a ‘Fun’ time.

 

I joined an OCD-Action call specifically for harm thoughts on Thursday and I must say, I have been quite triggered ever since. I join the support groups with OCD-UK every week too, however I’d been recommended The OCD-Action one as it was specifically for harm thoughts and it was extremely triggering. There were 2 new mums on there who were saying how their children had been taken away from them by social services because of their harm and sexual intrusive thoughts - it was so heartbreaking but also very triggering.

 

I don’t think that helped to be completely honest, I just wish life would go a bit easier on me xx

[Juliex]

Hi Summer, I can tell you as someone who's now 52 (but I still remember, please hear me out, lol), that you have the world at your feet right now, you really do.  The thing is when I was 20, when everyone I know was 20, we didn't realise it and that's because life is tough and we haven't been around long enough to develop all our coping strategies.  The thing is by the time we have been we are getting more tired etc.  So let this be my birthday gift to you, do whatever will give you the most joy on your birthday, you are allowed to have fun on your birthday, no matter what, and especially at 20.

Have a lovely day tomorrow xx

(on the subject of your therapist, that says more about the level of resources we have at the moment to help people than anything about you, sorry it's happened and with bad timing too after your boyfriend..........but take care of you for now and enjoy your birthday, it's your life  )

 

 

[Avo]

Hi Summer

Have a nice Birthday, you are only 20, with plenty of life ahead of you. Enjoy the meal - hopefully someone else is treating you? 

 

 

[Keyboard Worrier]

Happy Birthday!! 

 

[Summer9173]

18 hours ago, Juliex said:

Hi Summer, I can tell you as someone who's now 52 (but I still remember, please hear me out, lol), that you have the world at your feet right now, you really do.  The thing is when I was 20, when everyone I know was 20, we didn't realise it and that's because life is tough and we haven't been around long enough to develop all our coping strategies.  The thing is by the time we have been we are getting more tired etc.  So let this be my birthday gift to you, do whatever will give you the most joy on your birthday, you are allowed to have fun on your birthday, no matter what, and especially at 20.

Have a lovely day tomorrow xx

(on the subject of your therapist, that says more about the level of resources we have at the moment to help people than anything about you, sorry it's happened and with bad timing too after your boyfriend..........but take care of you for now and enjoy your birthday, it's your life  )

 

 

Thank you @Juliex  have a lovely day too

 

I’m struggling quite a bit this morning and feeling incredibly lonely x everybody in my house has gone to work and my ex or boyfriend whatever we spoke about meeting today in the evening to get things back on track, now he’s saying we’ll have to do something in the week  I knew this would happen. I feel incredibly sad and stuck, I’ve messaged a few private therapists however so I’m just waiting for them to get back to me x

[Summer9173]

16 hours ago, Avo said:

Hi Summer

Have a nice Birthday, you are only 20, with plenty of life ahead of you. Enjoy the meal - hopefully someone else is treating you? 

 

 

Thank you @Avo  unfortunately no everybody’s working today. Feel like I’m sort of stuck especially with my partner (god knows what we are at the moment.) I’m planning to get my hair done at 11 which is a start, although I am incredibly anxious 

[Summer9173]

36 minutes ago, Keyboard Worrier said:

Happy Birthday!! 

 

Thank you so much !!  @Keyboard Worrier

[BelAnna]

Happy belated Birthday for Sunday @Summer9173 and @Lynz! Hope you each had lovely days! 

[Summer9173]

51 minutes ago, BelAnna said:

Happy belated Birthday for Sunday @Summer9173 and @Lynz! Hope you each had lovely days! 

Thank you so much @BelAnna  xx

[Lynz]

4 hours ago, BelAnna said:

Happy belated Birthday for Sunday @Summer9173 and @Lynz! Hope you each had lovely days! 

Thank you BelAnna . I hope you're doing well x