Not so keen on working after all?

[Getmeout]

It's now I recognize how limited I have lived, where even meeting someone in the shop makes me anxious. Look them in their eyes and talk with strangers makes me nervous. Autism or just anxiety? I don't know. Probably both.

NOW to the problem. I have searched a lot of works lately, I was desperate so that's the reason for that. I have been called by two jobs, it's 3 hours commuting every single day at both jobs, which sucks, but I will have to accept it I guess. The first job which is being a bike deliverer offered a meeting today but afraid of life as I am I told them I was sick, so I got an offer to meet next week. Which I acccepted AFTER the second job calling me on the phone. It's a job in a garage shop, it's full time and it would give me a lot of cash. Now to the problem. There is not a chance in hell I can go from panicking from smelling the chemicals there from a short visit to being there for 8 hours. And you guys will say that every exposure is good, to like everything. But I don't think I ever will come to a point in life where I am fine with exposing myself to solvents. 

1. I really have a long way to being a normal guy in a normal life
2. Wouldn't it be unrealistic to go from my enclosed living situation to a 8 hours work per day + 3 hours commuting?

I guess I wasn't as desperate as I thought or maybe I am but I am too afraid of the legitimate dangers from such a climate. I also have a lot of tics going on currently and I don't think I could hold them back for 11 hours so I would feel very emberrassed* 

Edited August 15, 2022 by Getmeout

[howard]

Do you think you are looking for ways not to move forward with your life?

I'd just thought I'd share some simple lyrics, from Angel by First Aid Kit.

'I've been afraid all of my life
Crippled with anxiety, shame and doubt
And sometimes, sometimes I'd like to shout
At the top of my lungs and just let it out

What has that fear ever done for me, oh ooh ooh ooh
But hold me back?'