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Just in a pickle really


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Hello everybody,

 

So my OCD really has been at its height thanks to my boyfriend :( he’s not exactly been boyfriend of the year….. if anything far from that list, I feel like I’ve gone (I don’t like to use this word, but I’m the movie type of way) ‘crazy’ because of him. 
 

He added his ex on social media again, which led me to confronting her asking her if anything was going on between the two, to which she replied no. Who does that?! I feel completely ‘crazy’ :( me and her have actually been speaking and she is actually really sweet, however now my OCD is convincing me I’m going to become one of those ‘obsessed’ people you see in the movies, and ‘what if I fancy her now’ etc, what would my boyfriend think. I’m not even a lesbian? I don’t even really like her, if anything I just wanted to be kind to be like ‘leave us alone’ just feel like I’m losing my mind :( 

 

I’m in a very toxic relationship of which I know needs to stop now, but it’s like my brains addicted to the high i get from speaking to him :( it just feels awful, I feel a mess 

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So you're having another 'mini mental crisis'.  Teach yourself how to deal with them so you're prepared for it.

Stop.

Take a few deep breaths.

Shake out your shoulders and relax your body.

This helps to slow your thoughts and break the cycle of rumination.

Next, label this 'what will people think' stuff as OCD and resolve to let it go. Remind yourself it's not in the least important what people think and you have no control over what they think anyway, so pointless wasting energy trying to guess.

Calm yourself with more slow, deep breaths if needed to stop the ruminations.

And lastly, since you know it was a toxic relationship STEER CLEAR! If he has something going on with an ex - great! That will make it even easier to walk away. And if he hasn't? Lucky her! Sensible woman is steering clear herself.

Addictions are only addictive if you let them become so. Addictive feelings are the same. You're aware you get drawn towards toxic relationships, so you need to teach yourself to be careful about making relationship decisions on any basis other than cold common sense. May not sound romantic, but it's the only way to teach your brain that being done over by people isn't loveeven if that's the kind of 'love' you're used to.

Make a rational decision about the kind of relationship you want and when these brain fluff moments hit remind yourself of your decision made when you were thinking straight and resolve not to get drawn back into the ruminative thinking cycle.

 

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5 hours ago, snowbear said:

So you're having another 'mini mental crisis'.  Teach yourself how to deal with them so you're prepared for it.

Stop.

Take a few deep breaths.

Shake out your shoulders and relax your body.

This helps to slow your thoughts and break the cycle of rumination.

Next, label this 'what will people think' stuff as OCD and resolve to let it go. Remind yourself it's not in the least important what people think and you have no control over what they think anyway, so pointless wasting energy trying to guess.

Calm yourself with more slow, deep breaths if needed to stop the ruminations.

And lastly, since you know it was a toxic relationship STEER CLEAR! If he has something going on with an ex - great! That will make it even easier to walk away. And if he hasn't? Lucky her! Sensible woman is steering clear herself.

Addictions are only addictive if you let them become so. Addictive feelings are the same. You're aware you get drawn towards toxic relationships, so you need to teach yourself to be careful about making relationship decisions on any basis other than cold common sense. May not sound romantic, but it's the only way to teach your brain that being done over by people isn't loveeven if that's the kind of 'love' you're used to.

Make a rational decision about the kind of relationship you want and when these brain fluff moments hit remind yourself of your decision made when you were thinking straight and resolve not to get drawn back into the ruminative thinking cycle.

 

Thank you snowbear I don’t feel to great did morning either, I can’t remember the last time I felt this awful :( 

 

I feel like my brain is sick, I have this overwhelming urge to hurt somebody and it’s becoming to much I can’t handle it. I don’t think I can go into work today I feel to unwell :( 

I don’t want a relationship like this I feel absolutely awful right now. I just feel so so terrified  

 

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I feel like I’ll update everybody, I made it into work at its currently 2:24pm I’m very glad I’m in work x I felt horrendous this morning and I am feeling as though I’m going back to my depressed state so that’s why I need to carry on 

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On 18/08/2022 at 00:44, snowbear said:

And lastly, since you know it was a toxic relationship STEER CLEAR! If he has something going on with an ex - great! That will make it even easier to walk away. And if he hasn't? Lucky her! Sensible woman is steering clear herself.

Completely agree Summer.  This isn't love.....as you've described, it's toxic.  Get through this painful bit, this neediness of belonging (even though it's an unhealthy relationship)  You deserve, and can have so much better than this and in the long-term your mental health will  benefit 

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