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Is this something i can work on?


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Hello all,

I was hoping for some input on the following; My OCD has taken on pretty much all forms already, and often changes subjects. At the moment, it is mainly the moral conscience that is a problem. I've been wanting to work for myself for some time now, because I just really don't like it as a paid employee, and it makes me quite unhappy. Now, it is true that I have been busy with a number of things in the past that give me the opportunity to earn my own money. The issue with these points is that they also have ethical concerns somewhere along the line. Here are some examples; - First example; Producing and selling EDM music (Dance Music).I really enjoy doing this, and if I'm honest, I'm pretty good at it too. In the past, I have even been approached by record labels where I could release or resell music. My objection: In this branch a lot of drugs are used, drunk etc. The association with techno, tech-house is mostly parties, drugs and all kinds of things that are 'bad'.

Every time I want to come up with a good business plan and prepare it, I constantly get thoughts like; If I'm going to do this, I'll be responsible for drug use etc within this scene. Because the better and more fun the music, the more is 'used'. - Second example; I also really enjoy making YouTube videos, I've done this before and there is real potential to do this at least next to my full-time job, and who knows, eventually even do it as a full-time job myself (make videos). My objection? After having seen an article and a documentary that showed that social media, YouTube but even the internet are major causes of loneliness, depression, unhealthy lifestyle, addictions and unfortunately even suicide. I now feel responsible as soon as I create content that keeps people inside longer, and behind their computers or phones that I am also responsible for their internet addiction, loneliness, depression and suicidal thoughts.

With almost every example I can think of, there are always 'dark' aspects to it. Because to be quite honest, I mainly want to earn my own money and not be employed, to be able to become financially independent, and to just be able to earn a bit more. My wife actually wants to stop working and be there for the kids at home. And I do have opportunities for extra earnings, but every time I start planning, I immediately start to think about the possible consequences for someone else. I know that maybe it doesn't fit into the standard OCD picture, but I notice that it does arise in an OCD way for me. How can I better deal with this?

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Both of the things you're talking about aren't your responsibility.  

Taking drugs and using the internet are the responsibility of the people doing them and you making  youtube videos or EDM doesn't cause either of the things you're talking about.  

It's classic OCD to take more responsibility than you can be rationally assumed to and probably everyone with the condition has ended up in this kind of headspace before.

It can be, as you're pointing out, very paralysing and is something that yes, you should work on.

How I've personally tried to approach the issue is to make a mental or sometimes physical list of things which are "My sh*t" and things that are "Other people's sh*t" and then breaking down the issue that is bothering me into those two categories.  It works very well to break down what you can rationally assume responsibility for and what you can let you as the responsibility of someone else.  

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12 minutes ago, ocdjonesy said:

Both of the things you're talking about aren't your responsibility.  

Taking drugs and using the internet are the responsibility of the people doing them and you making  youtube videos or EDM doesn't cause either of the things you're talking about.  

It's classic OCD to take more responsibility than you can be rationally assumed to and probably everyone with the condition has ended up in this kind of headspace before.

It can be, as you're pointing out, very paralysing and is something that yes, you should work on.

How I've personally tried to approach the issue is to make a mental or sometimes physical list of things which are "My sh*t" and things that are "Other people's sh*t" and then breaking down the issue that is bothering me into those two categories.  It works very well to break down what you can rationally assume responsibility for and what you can let you as the responsibility of someone else.  

Exactly!

 

Mainlybthe paralysing part isbwhat hits me the most. Wlways when therebis something i want to do or feel motivated for my mind comes up with stuff why i should not and why im a bad person for doing so. This can be applied to almpet everything like;

Sports, music producing, family stuff, work, taking care of my health, food, friends, other hobbys and of course plans to start my own business.

 

Its exactly that paralysed feeling which takes all the pleasure and motivation oit of what i was trying to go for.

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