Touched his genitals, I feel like a monster

[Getmeout]

I should be happy and content after a week of stress, I was on a course on truck driving and it went good but this incident has destroyed my joy. We were instructed and I was nervous and a guy walke to the left of me. I had no idea. So I stretched my arm backwards because I was nervous. I touched something, don't ask me what. To make it obvious it was a mistake I looked confused and begged for forgivness. But I know what I would think.... I would have been destroyed! I feel like a predator. I even think it could classify as rape in my country.

He was the same length as me and yeah pretty sure I touched something in that area. 

Help. 

Edited September 4, 2022 by Getmeout

[Getmeout]

This will maybe look like a try to get reassurance but I can't ask anyone else about this topic. I just know how I would feel. I would feel destroyed honestly. If we changed positions him and me,

[DRS1]

This is still the same old OCD though right? Not going to give reassurance but from your post, I'm more concerned about the guilt you feel for the overresponsibility than anything you think you might have done.

 

Maybe your hand touched their crotch area, maybe it didn't. So what if it did? The compulsions you did in response were the issue.

 

Consider why is it different for you in your case than it is to other people without OCD. For example on a busy train there is likely going to be contact between some part of someone's body and someone else's buttocks or genitals accidentally. Does this make everyone on the train a predator? Or is it OCDs catastrophising and the overresponsibility you have that suddenly turns anything into something serious?

 

And that's not to say in the train scenario that someone wouldn't do that intentionally because maybe they would but the problem here is that just because it's a possibility doesn't mean it's actually what happened.

 

If someone stretched their arms out and accidentally touched your groin area, would you label them as a predator or does that only apply to you? The reason I say this is because OCD likes to use "but you are different" in all these scenarios it comes up with.

 

Focus on not ruminating over it and not confessing about it. It's fine to talk about it on here but try to look at why you are posting too first. Do you feel the urgency to do it in order to relieve the anxiety? If so consider whether at that moment it is the appropriate time to post about it. 

 

If there is no urgency then it's probably fine to post about it as you aren't necessarily looking to relieve the anxiety or uncertainty. Hope this helps

[NotRock]

That is quite common, I think 99% of people have had something similar, and for most of them its something between embarrasing and funny  

Why you punish yourself for things out of your control (since it was not in purpouse)?