Fear for guy with OCD

[SeleneK]

Hello everyone,

I have reached a point that I am very afraid for my well being due to a guy with OCD and I need your opinion on whether his disorder can lead him to hurt me.

We have been going out for just a couple of weeks and his OCD manifested in being obsessed about me accidentally getting pregnant. Please note that we have not done literally anything that would justify this (used protection, never ever finished inside etc), he has verified and agreed on this as well, but he is still obsessing over it. I told him that I expect my period in a couple of days, already have all my symptoms before my period, but in order to relax him, I offered to do pregnancy tests as well. He demands from me to do another complicated procedure for him to be EXTREMELY sure that I'm not pregnant. I told him that this procedure cannot be done if I'm not at least 2 days late, but he wants me to do that even after I get my period! In the meantime he has reached a point of harassing me, constantly calling and texting me and treating me like garbage. Today I got completely afraid of him, since he freaked out about this again, yelled at me and harassed me. I told him that I can no longer deal with this and I wish to have no communication with him and blocked him everywhere.

Since I know that his OCD is completely out of hand right now, I know for a fact that he will demand to do what he planned, come to my house and force me to do it and I am very afraid that he will physically hurt me if I don't do so.

Please, please advice me on how to handle this situation, as I am very, very concerned right now.

Thank you in advance,

Edited September 7, 2022 by SeleneK

[DRS1]

20 minutes ago, SeleneK said:

Hello everyone,

I have reached a point that I am very afraid for my well being due to a guy with OCD and I need your opinion on whether his disorder can lead him to hurt me.

We have been going out for just a couple of weeks and his OCD manifested in being obsessed about me accidentally getting pregnant. Please note that we have not done literally anything that would justify this (used protection, never ever finished inside etc), he has verified and agreed on this as well, but he is still obsessing over it. I told him that I expect my period in a couple of days, already have all my symptoms before my period, but in order to relax him, I offered to do pregnancy tests as well. He demands from me to do another complicated procedure for him to be EXTREMELY sure that I'm not pregnant. I told him that this procedure cannot be done if I'm not at least 2 days late, but he wants me to do that even after I get my period! In the meantime he has reached a point of harassing me, constantly calling and texting me and treating me like garbage. Today I got completely afraid of him, since he freaked out about this again, yelled at me and harassed me. I told him that I can no longer deal with this and I wish to have no communication with him and blocked him everywhere.

Since I know that his OCD is completely out of hand right now, I know for a fact that he will demand to do what he planned, come to my house and force me to do it and I am very afraid that he will physically hurt me if I don't do so.

Please, please advice me on how to handle this situation, as I am very, very concerned right now.

Thank you in advance,

Someone having OCD is not a justification for treating other people like garbage. Whilst the fear of getting pregnant / getting someone pregnant can be a very common issue within the content of intrusive thoughts and images, it doesn't mean that doing the compulsions or trying to force others to do things is okay; it's not full stop. If you think that someone (regardless of OCD) is potentially a threat to you and likely to cause you harm, I'd suggest contacting the relevant authorities (by default, I'd say the Police but other people will hopefully be able to suggest other services that are also available for this type of thing as I'm not well informed about that). 

 

At this point, any relationship, and communication generally needs to be ended and thankfully you have blocked him. I cannot stress enough that this is not okay to be happening to you. He needs to get some help for his OCD. As someone with OCD particularly having had the fear of accidentally getting someone pregnant yet never having any relationship in my life, I understand how distressing it is. However, from your description, he doesn't seem to be handling it well at all. 

 

I hope this is somewhat helpful

[SeleneK]

Hi DRS1,

This is very helpful indeed and thanks for your understanding.

I really do not wish to see him again, but I'm afraid that if he won't get what he wants, he'll haunt me until he does.

A person has even suggested to me that I should provide him with fake proof of this examination, but I truly do not wish to get involved at all, not even unblock him for a sec.

Thanks again for your reply.

[DRS1]

1 hour ago, SeleneK said:

Hi DRS1,

This is very helpful indeed and thanks for your understanding.

I really do not wish to see him again, but I'm afraid that if he won't get what he wants, he'll haunt me until he does.

A person has even suggested to me that I should provide him with fake proof of this examination, but I truly do not wish to get involved at all, not even unblock him for a sec.

Thanks again for your reply.

The person would be incorrect to suggest that "fake proof" will work. What you have to understand is, there is no proof that anyone could give someone with OCD that would shut OCD up. OCD is a game of seeking certainty but never being able to accept it even if it could be fact or not. OCD doesn't care. I would go even as far to say, no one with OCD has ever actually acted on their thoughts, images, sensations but have feared it significantly happening. There have been as far as I'm aware no recorded cases of that but, someone having OCD doesn't excuse their behaviour and in this case making you feel like you could be harmed. 

[Lynz]

If you feel like this guy is a threat then call the police. The fact that he has OCD doesn't even come into it in my opinion. He's harassing you and acting like a creep and possibly threatening to sexually assault you if I'm correct in what you mean by saying that he may force you to do some kind of physical examination.