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Struggling with ROCD


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Hello

 

Does anyone else have really strong relationship ocd I suppose I'd call it, where you're consistently worried and ruminating that you somehow cheated or otherwise wronged your partner?? It's all the time for me. Did I flirt with that guy? Did I get in the way of him on purpose so we would accidentally touch? 

Today, a client asked me to show him pictures of my cat. I was sitting sort of next to him but he was turned a bit, anyway scrolling through my phone I came across some adult pictures that I took for my boyfriend, and I didn't have my phone like right in front of him and I don't think he saw. But I don't know if I wanted him to know. I also looked behind me at the wall as the client and I were outside smoking, kind of to see if there was a camera/make a comment for some reason. I didn't wind up saying anything about hoping there wasn't a camera there cause I just came across nudes, and he did not act as though he saw anything like that. But like I should have snapped my phone shut right away and stopping looking for pics of my cats, like did I secretly want him to see a photo of me naked?? I tried to see how I feel about that and like maybe I would just to feel sexy or something, and ew it feels possible. But that's so gross, and I love my partner very, very much. It's just hell like, is this ocd or am I a deviant 

Edited by Zombie
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I know what you mean, and have had the same. Did I chat to someone too much, did I deliberately stand close so they might brush against me.

sometimes one of the things that helps is to remember that 99% of the population wouldn’t worry like I do

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On 27/09/2022 at 04:34, OB1UK said:

I know what you mean, and have had the same. Did I chat to someone too much, did I deliberately stand close so they might brush against me.

sometimes one of the things that helps is to remember that 99% of the population wouldn’t worry like I do

Thank you for your response. I hear you with the latter, but then I can be worried of course that it isn't just OCD, it is true and happened and somehow I'm in denial or something :(

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