My hard problem.

[Dispi]

Hello everyone
I have been suffering from OCD for 1.5 years. I'll say right away that I don't have a diagnosis, but after reading a ton of information, I found out that all the symptoms converge.
How to put it. I have OCD of the sexual type. No. There are no fantasies. Masturbation itself has already given up, as well as porn, fantasies, but that's not really what this is about.
I'll tell you my story briefly:
118 days of abstinence and bam. There was a breakdown. And it would be fine with mine, but the breakdown was made by my penis.
I will not describe how it happened and so on. I'll tell you what. I tried to beat it with Scotch tape. Tied a dick, and that's it. But later thoughts began to appear:"It may happen again.". And he became paranoid. I couldn't go to bed until I wrapped my dick with duct tape.
Later he began to perform operations on his penis. I know, it's terrible. I know it's disgusting, but it's the only way. As a result, for the last six months and maybe even a little more, I have been doing operations. As a result, I cut out all the sensitivity of the bee. In addition, there is no breakdown without me. A whole month.
(earlier this happened 2 times in my whole life. On day 118 and 20 days later).
And that's about it. I have conquered my problem, and the brain continues: "A breakdown will happen." And I do not know what to do.
I began to resist. I endured fear and excitement. And at these moments he said, or rather asked the brain: "And how do you know this, eh? Arguments?"
And suddenly I felt an epiphany. And I even still feel it, but the feeling is fading.
I want to ask what materials are there to combat OCD?
(I write from the translator, I apologize if there are errors)

[Dispi]

 

I apologize if I wrote it roughly, but the translator did not describe it as gently as I wanted.

[DRS1]

26 minutes ago, Dispi said:

Hello everyone
I have been suffering from OCD for 1.5 years. I'll say right away that I don't have a diagnosis, but after reading a ton of information, I found out that all the symptoms converge.
How to put it. I have OCD of the sexual type. No. There are no fantasies. Masturbation itself has already given up, as well as porn, fantasies, but that's not really what this is about.
I'll tell you my story briefly:
118 days of abstinence and bam. There was a breakdown. And it would be fine with mine, but the breakdown was made by my penis.
I will not describe how it happened and so on. I'll tell you what. I tried to beat it with Scotch tape. Tied a dick, and that's it. But later thoughts began to appear:"It may happen again.". And he became paranoid. I couldn't go to bed until I wrapped my dick with duct tape.
Later he began to perform operations on his penis. I know, it's terrible. I know it's disgusting, but it's the only way. As a result, for the last six months and maybe even a little more, I have been doing operations. As a result, I cut out all the sensitivity of the bee. In addition, there is no breakdown without me. A whole month.
(earlier this happened 2 times in my whole life. On day 118 and 20 days later).
And that's about it. I have conquered my problem, and the brain continues: "A breakdown will happen." And I do not know what to do.
I began to resist. I endured fear and excitement. And at these moments he said, or rather asked the brain: "And how do you know this, eh? Arguments?"
And suddenly I felt an epiphany. And I even still feel it, but the feeling is fading.
I want to ask what materials are there to combat OCD?
(I write from the translator, I apologize if there are errors)

 

25 minutes ago, Dispi said:

 

I apologize if I wrote it roughly, but the translator did not describe it as gently as I wanted.

Hi Dispy, welcome to the forum. Don't worry too much about how roughly its written. So to get straight to the point, the main treatment for OCD is Cognitive Behavioural Therapy with ERP and potentially for some people an SSRI/Another anti-depressant.  If you want to learn more about OCD I'd recommend Break Free From OCD which is available on Amazon or on the OCD-UK store.

 

You aren't alone in OCD taking a role of a sexual theme. I have dealt/experience it quite a lot. It can be very graphic and very disabling but I would like to find out a bit more about how the other aspects you mention as I'm a bit confused. You kind of flip from I to he so I'm a bit uncertain as to which you mean. Was this an intrusive thought, image or a real event. If you were doing that to yourself, was there a particular thing you were trying to prevent happening?

 

To go over a few things generally. We don't want to be avoiding things we enjoy for the sake of OCD and yes this applies to sexual matters too. If you are in a relationship and you value intimacy, then don't stop that for the sake of trying to have OCD not be there when that is happening. The same goes with self-pleasure (for both single and people in relationships). Some people value watching erotic content and some do not and that in itself can become a compulsion as a way of distracting ourselves from thoughts, or images, sensations we experience.

 

Also its worthwhile mentioning sexual shame and guilt here. Is there a particular reason why you were abstaining from self-pleasure and was it OCD related or another potentially unhelpful belief? I'm not sure if its a cultural belief/religious belief or not or if its OCD related from what you were saying but in general there's nothing to feel guilty or ashamed about from self-pleasure, sex and even having sexual intrusive thoughts and images. I wouldn't hurt yourself/intentionally damage your genitals as a compulsion and if this is what you are doing I'd suggest you might want to make an appointment with your doctor.

 

I'll leave it there for now and if you are able to respond with a little bit more information about it to make it clearer what it is that's going on that would be great. Hope this helps.

 

 

[Dispi]

37 minutes ago, DRS1 said:

 

Hi Dispy, welcome to the forum. Don't worry too much about how roughly its written. So to get straight to the point, the main treatment for OCD is Cognitive Behavioural Therapy with ERP and potentially for some people an SSRI/Another anti-depressant.  If you want to learn more about OCD I'd recommend Break Free From OCD which is available on Amazon or on the OCD-UK store.

 

You aren't alone in OCD taking a role of a sexual theme. I have dealt/experience it quite a lot. It can be very graphic and very disabling but I would like to find out a bit more about how the other aspects you mention as I'm a bit confused. You kind of flip from I to he so I'm a bit uncertain as to which you mean. Was this an intrusive thought, image or a real event. If you were doing that to yourself, was there a particular thing you were trying to prevent happening?

 

To go over a few things generally. We don't want to be avoiding things we enjoy for the sake of OCD and yes this applies to sexual matters too. If you are in a relationship and you value intimacy, then don't stop that for the sake of trying to have OCD not be there when that is happening. The same goes with self-pleasure (for both single and people in relationships). Some people value watching erotic content and some do not and that in itself can become a compulsion as a way of distracting ourselves from thoughts, or images, sensations we experience.

 

Also its worthwhile mentioning sexual shame and guilt here. Is there a particular reason why you were abstaining from self-pleasure and was it OCD related or another potentially unhelpful belief? I'm not sure if its a cultural belief/religious belief or not or if its OCD related from what you were saying but in general there's nothing to feel guilty or ashamed about from self-pleasure, sex and even having sexual intrusive thoughts and images. I wouldn't hurt yourself/intentionally damage your genitals as a compulsion and if this is what you are doing I'd suggest you might want to make an appointment with your doctor.

 

I'll leave it there for now and if you are able to respond with a little bit more information about it to make it clearer what it is that's going on that would be great. Hope this helps.

 

 

Thank you for responding!

 

About me and him.
That's what I meant, that the translator translates crookedly. All those actions he did that he meant - I did it. All actions are from me. 
So. In general, I do not know if this phrase can be translated into English, but I will try.
I have a ND - Night ****. As I said earlier, I had it 2 times. When there was abstinence in 118 days and after 20 days.
Initially, it was a shock for me. How is this so? I quit masturbation, and he came to me. And I began to think that the problem was sensitivity (I do not know the mechanism of ND itself. I assume that I have some kind of sleepwalking that is realized in the form of hip movement).
And here's the problem. Initially, I wanted to defeat ND. But later it turned into the fact that I just want to have a lack of penis sensitivity.
(Even now I began to write, thoughts began to come, that maybe it still exists? Can I check the sensitivity? And what if there is a truth?)
And I don't like it. I've already been struggling with masturbation for 3 years, and I don't know about you, but it's easier for me to live in celibacy. 
(As a person who has studied the effects of drugs, I can say with confidence that masturbation, porn and fantasy are drugs. 
There was an experience of abstinence in 4 months and in 6 months. I'll say this. It broke of course, but life has become brighter. Do you remember how earlier in childhood the grass was greener and the sun was brighter? That's exactly it. Oh, I also quit because I had a hellish fear of everything. To guys, women, children.
And God! The fear passed and I became as confident as I could safely communicate with anyone I wanted. 
 In addition, I will say right away. Because of pornography, tolerance to genres began to grow. As a result, I began to watch bestiality from the usual porn content and I ask you to forgive me, pedophilia. I understand that this is terrible, so I don't know about you, but I will refrain from such things. Celibacy is the only right way for me.)

[Dispi]

1 hour ago, DRS1 said:

 

 

(I apologize for quoting your message again. It is automatically inserted)

(And I'm writing with Google Translator again because I don't know English very well. I'm sorry)

 

 I think it's worth explaining the principle of my OCD in general.
There is a trigger thought - "You have ND".
I'm starting to check if there is a ND. If, as I believe, there is sensitivity, I start to worry.
Looking for scissors. And while all the relatives are sleeping, I'm doing an operation. Without anesthesia.
And I'm talking about the fact. I'm used to it. I don't see anything wrong with the operation, but here's the problem. I have no energy after OCD. It squeezes all the juices out of me like masturbation. I even have a thought: "maybe I actually ND happened and I don't know it?" it saves that there is no fear as an onanist as before and I feel that I am as confident as a bull. As a result, he lets go. 
Speaking briefly:OCD is killing me.
In addition, adrenaline appears when I'm about to have an operation. What is interesting and strange is that the effect will be within an hour - 12 hours. Until I do the surgery I will be stimulated. And I would describe the effect as if I was drugged.

[northpaul]

37 minutes ago, Dispi said:

Looking for scissors. And while all the relatives are sleeping, I'm doing an operation. Without anesthesia.

If this is the case I would strongly advise you seek medical help.

2 hours ago, Dispi said:

I have been suffering from OCD for 1.5 years. I'll say right away that I don't have a diagnosis, but after reading a ton of information, I found out that all the symptoms converge.

Have you ever spoken to a medical professional about your symptoms? 

[DRS1]

58 minutes ago, Dispi said:

(I apologize for quoting your message again. It is automatically inserted)

(And I'm writing with Google Translator again because I don't know English very well. I'm sorry)

 

 I think it's worth explaining the principle of my OCD in general.
There is a trigger thought - "You have ND".
I'm starting to check if there is a ND. If, as I believe, there is sensitivity, I start to worry.
Looking for scissors. And while all the relatives are sleeping, I'm doing an operation. Without anesthesia.
And I'm talking about the fact. I'm used to it. I don't see anything wrong with the operation, but here's the problem. I have no energy after OCD. It squeezes all the juices out of me like masturbation. I even have a thought: "maybe I actually ND happened and I don't know it?" it saves that there is no fear as an onanist as before and I feel that I am as confident as a bull. As a result, he lets go. 
Speaking briefly:OCD is killing me.
In addition, adrenaline appears when I'm about to have an operation. What is interesting and strange is that the effect will be within an hour - 12 hours. Until I do the surgery I will be stimulated. And I would describe the effect as if I was drugged.

I agree with @northpaul, I think you need to go get a therapist for this and definitely be taking yourself to a doctor/hospital as soon as you can. This is probably a bit more full on than what we could offer advice on. Mutilating yourself as a compulsion isn't an acceptable way to live. As for the rest of your posts, I think you need to work with a therapist on this stuff and see if you can get a diagnosis of OCD