Bridge

[Jennie]

I live in a place near a bridge. I have unwanted thoughts of throwing myself off the bridge. They are unwanted and can be repetitive. Sometimes it feels like a there is a dragging feeling towards the bridge. I am scared of being in the house on my own. I also had thoughts of stabbing my family and would be scared of spending time with my little niece on my own. I love my niece and would hate to hurt her. Does anyone have any ideas what I could do to get better? I am scared of being at work, in case I throw myself off one of the higher levels. I have been avoiding going up the stairs in my hospital where I work in case I threw myself down them. I’m scared to get the bus over the bridge, in case I threw myself off bridge, so have been getting cabs to work which cost £400 - £500 a month

[northpaul]

Hello Jennie.

Firstly, can I ask if you have spoken to your GP or any other medical professional about the distressing feelings you are having?

I note that you work in a hospital.  Do they have Occupational Health people you can speak to?

[Jennie]

I spoke to a private psychiatrist who told me it was ocd. She got me doing exposure exercises, and wanted me to stand on the bridge

[Summer9173]

13 hours ago, Jennie said:

I also had thoughts of stabbing my family and would be scared of spending time with my little niece on my own. I love my niece and would hate to hurt her. Does anyone have any ideas what I could do to get better? I am scared of being at work, in case I throw myself off one of the higher levels.

Everything your saying is the OCD harm thoughts i’ve experienced myself many times too, please no your not alone  

ERP has been my biggest friend my therapist said to me people with OCD have a hypersensitivity to danger, so when I keep getting these type of thoughts I try to say to myself thank you OCD gremlin you see if my thoughts have changed but I still don’t do it, sort of like it’s my brains way of checking if I’m still a good person? So we cut that cycle immediately!! 
 

The OCD-UK online zoom support groups help me massively and there weekly i really recommend them