Am I dangerous?

[13mdobbb]

I am not diagnosed as of yet, however I (and I know its not the same) have done many self assessments all of which say I have a severe chance of ocd. 

I'm not sure what is normal and what is not, and I'm scared I am going to hurt people. I suffer with intrusive thoughts about moral righteousness and harming others. I am learning how to manage this thru self help books etc and should hopefully be getting therapy in the not so distant future.

However, I'm really worried and scared because I couple times I ahve gone to follow thru with a thought subconsciously (as in my arm jerking towards them or similar) for example molesting someone, but stopped myself b4 anything bad has happened. Is this normal and should I be worried??

Also, once when I was hugging my mum I had an intrusive thought to hug her in a sexual way and molest her, and I hugged her tighter. I'm worried this was me following my thought as I'm sure it felt different to when I usually hug her. She didn't seem to think anything amiss tho?? I'm sure it felt like I pressed my body into hers which is partially what the thought was about. 

Lastly, when I was looking at myself in the mirror I had an impulse to lift up my top. Not sure exactly what the thought was as it happened so quickly but I followed thru with the thought. I think it may have been connected to the possibility of my little brother walking in on me with my top up?? No harm done as I was alone in my room but still scary and I'm not sure what it means. 

Due to all of this should I consider reporting myself to the police or something. Basically am I dangerous??

[DRS1]

7 hours ago, 13mdobbb said:

I am not diagnosed as of yet, however I (and I know its not the same) have done many self assessments all of which say I have a severe chance of ocd. 

I'm not sure what is normal and what is not, and I'm scared I am going to hurt people. I suffer with intrusive thoughts about moral righteousness and harming others. I am learning how to manage this thru self help books etc and should hopefully be getting therapy in the not so distant future.

However, I'm really worried and scared because I couple times I ahve gone to follow thru with a thought subconsciously (as in my arm jerking towards them or similar) for example molesting someone, but stopped myself b4 anything bad has happened. Is this normal and should I be worried??

Also, once when I was hugging my mum I had an intrusive thought to hug her in a sexual way and molest her, and I hugged her tighter. I'm worried this was me following my thought as I'm sure it felt different to when I usually hug her. She didn't seem to think anything amiss tho?? I'm sure it felt like I pressed my body into hers which is partially what the thought was about. 

Lastly, when I was looking at myself in the mirror I had an impulse to lift up my top. Not sure exactly what the thought was as it happened so quickly but I followed thru with the thought. I think it may have been connected to the possibility of my little brother walking in on me with my top up?? No harm done as I was alone in my room but still scary and I'm not sure what it means. 

Due to all of this should I consider reporting myself to the police or something. Basically am I dangerous??

Okay so whilst this all seems very frightening, no, you aren't dangerous. Look at what you wrote above. You thought something was going to happen and thought you had acted on a thought with your mum but your mum didn't think anything was wrong. That is a game OCD plays. If you have intrusive thoughts and also intrusive urges and you try so hard to prevent them from happening of course it's going to be scary and OCD has highlighted these things as something you should be worried about... But it's blowing these things out of proportion. The same applies to every other thing you've mentioned.

 

I'll try to avoid giving reassurance here as much as possible but since you are still learning about OCD, it's a good idea to get information on it.

 

Let's take the lifting up your top example in your room. Think about this for a moment. How many people in the world get changed in their bedrooms, are completely naked etc. ? Now how many of those people without OCD try to make meaning out of them doing what is a normal thing to do in their bedroom and think they should report themselves to the police because they think they are a danger to society? Do you see yet how ridiculously stupid OCD is? It makes no sense but knowing that it makes no sense is unfortunately not enough because it feels so real.

 

How many families share bathrooms or are in general okay with seeing each other naked and it's a non issue? Why does that not make them a danger to society but lifting your top up in your room males you one.

 

If you can I'd try and get therapy for OCD. if you want to talk to your doctor about it first so that they can refer you, there is a GP checklist on the main OCD-UK charity website which you could pass to them without having to necessarily describe everything to them. If you do go down that route, you don't need to phone the doctors and say you think you have OCD, you can just say you would like an appointment about your mental health.

 

Lastly welcome to the forum, where since we all still deal/dealt with OCD, we totally get what you are going through. Nothing that you are experiencing is any different to other people's experiences with OCD. The content may be slightly different person to person but even on sexual intrusive thoughts or images like you are having now, they are different really to other peoples sexual intrusive thoughts or images even in content.

[13mdobbb]

I forgot to reply to you but thank you so much for this response. In a couple days I'm gonna ask for therapy so I can carry on making progress but I've already made loads and that's down to what you said. Ur literally changing lives x

[DRS1]

2 minutes ago, 13mdobbb said:

I forgot to reply to you but thank you so much for this response. In a couple days I'm gonna ask for therapy so I can carry on making progress but I've already made loads and that's down to what you said. Ur literally changing lives x

You are the one that made the progress. That had nothing to do with me, that's all on you. I'm glad it was helpful though and that you have made progress. Therapy will help a lot. Make sure that it is CBT with ERP that you are being offered and not talk therapy.