Jump to content

What kind of OCD is this?


Recommended Posts

What kind of ocd is this??

I basically have relationships ocd and I an obsessed with what my partner is doing on his phone and its causing us both distress. I am doing my best to stop asking all the time what that was on his phone or what he is looking at. My mind is telling me he is cheating when I know deep down that he never will. Its so painful tbh.

So here is a new kind and I'm not sure if it's common? Last night he was flicking through apps and I thought I saw my profile picture on a black  background bottom corner. Kinda like Spotify. My mind immediately jumped to he is on a dating app even though I thought it was my black and white photo of me in Paris 

He got a little upset and showed me what was on his phone and there was no such page or image of me... he said I need to get my eyes tested. But I have noticed recently I am seeing things that are not there on his phone. Is this hallucination ocd?

Any tips to stop the checking cycle would be amazing 

Link to comment

Hi Cam.  It is very common for OCD to change and focus on different aspects of what is most important to you and your values.  We are not medical professionals but it sounds like your OCD is making you doubt what you actually saw.  Are you having therapy at the moment?  If you want to stop the cycle of checking you could for example agree with your partner that he will not answer your questions about the phone for example, and that if you kept asking he could say something like 'We agreed that we are not going to give OCD the reassurance it is seeking, didn't we?'  This is something that you both would have to think about in advance of any triggers so that you are both aware what you are doing and why, and it could be that you decide to reduce your compulsions rather than stop immediately.  It will be very hard for you but tackling OCD means learning to live with uncertainty.  

Link to comment

There has been an update guys and its making me feel even worse.

He came home from work last night and said he has been trying to figure out what I could have saw but can't figure it out.

I casually said to him "if its really bothering you why don't you check you Internet history as it may have been a webpage"

 

He wasn't happy about this and thought he meant that I want to check his history. Was like you can't do that and I would never want to check yours. I think he felt like I was controlling him but I didn't mean for me to look...

 

Now my ocd has latched onto "why doesn't he want me to check his history?what is he hiding?"

 

He said he has nothing to hide as I don't but I now feel worse than I did yesterday 

 

Link to comment
55 minutes ago, cam said:

There has been an update guys and its making me feel even worse.

He came home from work last night and said he has been trying to figure out what I could have saw but can't figure it out.

I casually said to him "if its really bothering you why don't you check you Internet history as it may have been a webpage"

 

He wasn't happy about this and thought he meant that I want to check his history. Was like you can't do that and I would never want to check yours. I think he felt like I was controlling him but I didn't mean for me to look...

 

Now my ocd has latched onto "why doesn't he want me to check his history?what is he hiding?"

 

He said he has nothing to hide as I don't but I now feel worse than I did yesterday 

 

I know it’s hard but once the what ifs and questions start, the best thing to do is leave them be and try not to answer them. No answer will be enough and there will always be more.

OCD can make you doubt EVERYTHING. I’ve had things that I was pretty certain about turn into the most doubtful thing in my life and filling me with terror because I ruminated, checked and asked for reassurance. It never helps.

I also used to involve others in my doubts a lot and it often made it more complicated and caused them to doubt things because I was so convinced of something. This was prior to realising I had OCD and others thought it was helpful. It’s not though.

Id recommend explaining to your partner about how OCD works and how reassurance will make it worse, no matter how they think it will help you. By trying to figure things out, it’s created more doubts and made your brain think that this is of extreme importance and needs sorting quickly. You’re chasing certainty that doesn’t exist.

It’s really difficult I know and all instincts drive us to problem solve but when the what ifs creep in (what if that was a dating site etc), try and sit with the uncertainty of it and I know your anxiety will rise but that’s okay, it will come down again without the compulsions.

Be kind to yourself and try and focus on the present. No amount of checking will be enough.

Link to comment

Thank you for that. Means alot. Do you think I should just trust my gut rather than my head as I know it was a misunderstanding between us and not wanting to be controlled 

Link to comment
24 minutes ago, cam said:

Thank you for that. Means alot. Do you think I should just trust my gut rather than my head as I know it was a misunderstanding between us and not wanting to be controlled 

I think that I would try and not trust anything but learn to sit with the uncertainty (sounds awful I know). I find that when we start trying to rationalise the intrusive thoughts, we try and reassure ourselves with ‘I know that it wasn’t this… ‘ etc but this still fuels the OCD.

It’s false comfort and it still doesn’t truly reassure us and so the cycle continues. I often know that deep down the obsession isn’t true or happening but it still latches because the thought of it is horrendous to me. I wouldn’t try and reassure myself with it though - a compulsion that still won’t work. Another ‘what if’ or ‘but’ pops up.

Try and accept that your thoughts aren’t fact. Just because you thought something that was incredibly distressing doesn’t make it true, just as thinking something really positive wouldn’t make it happen either. 
 

 

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...