Ocd still or worse?

[Mini]

Hi, my brain has got itself into a pattern of thinking horrible thoughts all the time. I have maybe made the mistake of looking at a schizophrenia forum to convince myself that I don’t have it. BTW I don’t have voices just thoughts I hate. 
 

But it just gets worse- almost like my brain is coming up with weirder things. Is it possible for your brain to soak up things I’m reading and come up with even weirder thoughts?

Can anyone relate? Am I going mad?

 

[northpaul]

49 minutes ago, Mini said:

looking at a schizophrenia forum to convince myself that I don’t have it.

Looking at any forum to convince yourself that you have or have not got any mental health problem is not a good way to go.  The best way is to consult Medical/Clinical professionals and seek help from them.

[Mini]

33 minutes ago, northpaul said:

Looking at any forum to convince yourself that you have or have not got any mental health problem is not a good way to go.  The best way is to consult Medical/Clinical professionals and seek help from them.

Yes , thanks so much. I’m sure it’s just made me worse not better. Wish I didn’t have a sticky OCD brain that remembers all the rubbish I hate.

 

[snowbear]

6 hours ago, Mini said:

Wish I didn’t have a sticky OCD brain that remembers all the rubbish I hate.

Your brain is no different to anybody else's brain. But you are currently giving more meaning to 'things I hate' than the average person does to 'things I hate'. Which is why your brain won't just let those things drift into your head and out again.

The 'sticking point' is the meaning you give to the things you read/ see. When you change the meaning you give them your brain will work perfectly well again without sticking on things. So you need to stop trying to work out if things you read are relevant to you, stop worrying there's something wrong with having weird thoughts (everybody gets weird thoughts.)

Start treating 'things I hate' as just a moment of realising that you don't like something and shrug it off instead of treating it like it's already true/ happening/ totally hateful/ insurmountable discomfort etc.

Have you had any CBT, Mini?

[Mini]

Thanks SnowBear, I have had CBT in the past and managed my ocd ok for 15 years. A lot of it was driving thinking that I’d caused an accident, checking locks and also thinking I’d put something into peoples food or drink. Also, having to check things like Christmas cards in case I’d written something terrible. However, I totally understood it as OCD and new how to carry on with my day.

Unfortunately, covid lockdown caused my current problems. My work switched to being at home which I realise lots of people like but I really missed getting out and going to work which I enjoyed.

I was also going through the menopause at the same time. I took HRT thinking it would be good for my long term health. However, I reacted badly too it making my feel depressed.

This gave me terrible intrusive thoughts that have stuck. On top of that my head feels really weird every day, headaches, tinnitus and a weird pressure feeling. I also now have insomnia. 

Even if I ignore the thoughts and only have a few in a day, the constant headaches mean I find it hard to relax and think straight. It feels like my mind is constantly whirring away.
I think my problem is the whole thing together that is making me feel overwhelmed. Sorry for feeling sorry for myself. I used to be such a positive person.

 

 

 

[Mini]

Really struggling again, sorry I hate being this way. I know I need to go out and do something nice but it's really hard when the thoughts and feelings just stay in the background.

I hate how grumpy this is making me feel,  I used to be happy and positive all the time. 

 

[DRS1]

1 hour ago, Mini said:

Really struggling again, sorry I hate being this way. I know I need to go out and do something nice but it's really hard when the thoughts and feelings just stay in the background.

I hate how grumpy this is making me feel,  I used to be happy and positive all the time. 

 

Despite how you feel, it doesn't mean your feelings are accurate or deserved in that moment. Even though you feel that way, you can still go out and do stuff. You might feel miserable but at least you would get to do the things you value. You are only going to feel more miserable by not doing the things you want to do as then "OCD is preventing you from doing it"

[PolarBear]

12 hours ago, Mini said:

Really struggling again, sorry I hate being this way. I know I need to go out and do something nice but it's really hard when the thoughts and feelings just stay in the background.

I hate how grumpy this is making me feel,  I used to be happy and positive all the time. 

 

Go out anyway. Your choices are stay home and be miserable or got out and live, which might improve your spirits.

[Mini]

Thanks all for your help. I did go out to the zoo and then the beach whichis good. Wish my head felt better though, feeling like I always have a constant headache.  Anyone else suffer with them regularly?

 

[Handy]

Nature walks are good because they bring you to the present.  OCD is future based usually so being in the present is good. 

I sometimes get headaches from wearing hats & so I take them off.