Jump to content

Anxiety about visiting relative


Recommended Posts

Hi everyone., 

so when I got ill with the nasty infection 3 weeks ago, I was at my mother's.  I haven't been there since.  She's elderly and lonely and I am well enough to walk the ten mins to her now.  But I'm avoiding it because I got ill there.  

I'm not worried there's anything in her house that would make me ill.  Nothing like that.  I just don't like the memory of walking back from her's, coming in, and then being unwell.  I don't want to remember all that.

I'll get over it, but wondering if this is part of ocd, it's a bit ritualistic if nothing else and what should I do, bite the bullet and go around to her?

 

Link to comment
54 minutes ago, RoseQuartz said:

Hi everyone., 

so when I got ill with the nasty infection 3 weeks ago, I was at my mother's.  I haven't been there since.  She's elderly and lonely and I am well enough to walk the ten mins to her now.  But I'm avoiding it because I got ill there.  

I'm not worried there's anything in her house that would make me ill.  Nothing like that.  I just don't like the memory of walking back from her's, coming in, and then being unwell.  I don't want to remember all that.

I'll get over it, but wondering if this is part of ocd, it's a bit ritualistic if nothing else and what should I do, bite the bullet and go around to her?

 

I think you know the answer🙂 I'd say it's just an association you've made in your mind, mother's house>returning>infection. But that's not rational.

Think about what it would mean to your mother to see you, and see you well. GO.

Link to comment

I agree with all of the responses. Your mind has made this irrational association between being ill and being at your mum's but it's obviously not logical and is an anxiety/traumatic response thing. I do things like this sometimes too but I've learnt to try and ignore it, and eventually your mind will replace this association with more positive associations. By avoiding going to your mum's, all that will do is reinforce the negative association you have with the place so it's best to nip this in the bud now and go around as soon as you're able to.

Link to comment

IMHO…as a caregiver to my spouse who suffers from OCD. The more you delay the more stronger this negative/illogical/OCD thought will become. Better to go asap and get over this fear. There may be anxiety post visit but having things to do will help alleviate them

Link to comment
11 hours ago, RoseQuartz said:

what should I do, bite the bullet and go around to her?

 

Agree with the others, dig deep and get back there.  Nothing to be achieved by avoidance for either of you.  She's old and lonely......you might get temporary relief from avoidance but in doing so give away yet more of your freedom to OCD/anxiety 🙁

Link to comment

Thanks Mini, Howard, Lynz, Lifewillbegood and Caramoole

I saw her in town today but I will (assuming foot is ok) walk around for mother's day.  I'll get over it, but just wish my brain didn't do these things.  

Thanks for your support, it does make it easier to do it.

Link to comment
2 hours ago, RoseQuartz said:

Thanks Mini, Howard, Lynz, Lifewillbegood and Caramoole

I saw her in town today but I will (assuming foot is ok) walk around for mother's day.  I'll get over it, but just wish my brain didn't do these things.  

Thanks for your support, it does make it easier to do it.

Good that you are confident of overcoming this. Just curious how often do you visit her place (assuming foot ok). I though Mother’s Day is in May.

Link to comment
19 hours ago, Lifewillbegood said:

Good that you are confident of overcoming this. Just curious how often do you visit her place (assuming foot ok). I though Mother’s Day is in May.

Yes, as Lynz says, mother's day is tomorrow in the UK.

I tend to visit her a lot, often I'm wiped out by her needing daily visits.  It might be why I got run down, especially as a friend had a relationship breakup and I was his shoulder to cry on all over christmas and january as well.

I'll try and have a walk around to her tomorrow though.

Thanks  🙂

 

Link to comment
1 hour ago, RoseQuartz said:

Yes, as Lynz says, mother's day is tomorrow in the UK.

I tend to visit her a lot, often I'm wiped out by her needing daily visits.  It might be why I got run down, especially as a friend had a relationship breakup and I was his shoulder to cry on all over christmas and january as well.

I'll try and have a walk around to her tomorrow though.

Thanks  🙂

 

Good that you plan to visit her tomorrow   I learned something new about Mother’s Day! Enjoy your time with you mom…gr8 moments!

My mom says every day should be Mother’s Day! Unfortunately I have not been able to visit my parents for 4yrs…different country …Covid and now spouse OCD

Link to comment
55 minutes ago, Lifewillbegood said:

Good that you plan to visit her tomorrow   I learned something new about Mother’s Day! Enjoy your time with you mom…gr8 moments!

My mom says every day should be Mother’s Day! Unfortunately I have not been able to visit my parents for 4yrs…different country …Covid and now spouse OCD

I'm sorry to hear that Lifewillbegood.

Hope your spouse recovers or things evolve differently so that it's possible to visit them at some point.  

Covid has been an utter nightmare, stealing our time.  

Having my mum around the corner is good, and at times, not so good, as she gets caught up in her own patterns and then expects me there daily (not realising how good it is that I'm only around the corner).  And she never visits me at my home even though she will walk around the areas near by, so it's not a mobility issue, lol.

 

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...