What is avoidance and what is exposure?

[benjamin]

I may be going to London soon for a day or two, but instead of looking forward to it I am a bit anxious about it. I will be OK with London itself, but there was a documentary I watched years ago which made me have a spike in my OCD. I was thinking briefly about it recently and then, silly me, did some research online and found out the documentary is available to view at a certain public London library. It has not helped my OCD.

It is making me tempted to go and view the documentary again, to see the part that made me spike. I keep thinking "I need to do this for exposure" but also am thinking at the same time if it will only make me feel better for a short time then/or just stir up all the horrible thoughts again and make them strong again, and take me back to Square One?

Should I let the temptation thought itself be there, but just do not pay it any attention?

 

 

Edited March 27, 2023 by benjamin

[benjamin]

I had sought advice from parents and they say do not do it. They say it probably will heighten the anxiety and OCD even more, and it can be seen as a compulsion if I was to do it.

I want to go to London to enjoy myself, not let OCD ruin it. Let the thoughts be there but do not pay them any attention.

[Angst]

It is a perennial question: when to do exposure and when to switch your attention. To me, the exposure agenda wrecks your trip to London. You will be preoccupied, obsessed, with going to library viewing the video. This will focus your mind on the ‘exposure’ rather than the multiple experiences of a visit, a holiday, a break. So I agree with your parents.  Focus on enjoying yourself during your visit. Do things to enhance the experience of the visit. Isn’t the aim of therapy to make us happier? 

[Spicypepper]

I agree with your parents it seems like a compulsion rather than an exposure. Especially because predict you will have to resist the temptation to go and see it.

I’d plan fun things to do in London and don’t focus on that video.

[benjamin]

Yes, good advice. I shall keep well away from the library, and be busy doing other things which I have planned. As you say going to view the documentary will be a compulsion, reassurance seeking, and could set me back to Square 1 again.