Gingham Posted May 24, 2023 Share Posted May 24, 2023 I have just walked out of the kitchen and it doesn’t feel like I’ve done it right. I feel like the ritual was all wrong because I think a strand of my hair brushed against my face after I’d finished, but what if it had been there while I was doing the ritual? I am not going to go back and repeat this. I am telling myself that it does not matter if a hair was touching my face, that doesn’t matter and the ritual I was trying to do doesn’t matter either. I am worried that I am always going to feel the need to correct this, like I will never forget it, that when I am dying, my last thought will be that I was lazy and didn’t do this right and I took the ‘easy option’ by not carrying out the ritual correctly. I am telling myself that, seeing as I can’t remember the names of people I went to school with, it is unlikely that this particular thing will stay in my memory, indeed, the more I dwell on it and give it air time, the bigger it becomes and the more likely I am to remember it for longer. Typing my thoughts seems to give me the opportunity to ‘reset’ myself I think - hence this post…just needed to get it out…thank you xxx Link to comment
snowbear Posted May 25, 2023 Share Posted May 25, 2023 I'm glad that typing it out helped to give you some perspective. Sometimes we do need a wake-up call on just how unimportant, ridiculous and meaningless the things we've obsessed over actually are. 23 hours ago, Gingham said: I am not going to go back and repeat this. I am telling myself that it does not matter if a hair was touching my face, that doesn’t matter and the ritual I was trying to do doesn’t matter either. Well done! This is way of thinking is how you counter the irrational thinking and compulsive urges of OCD. Link to comment
Gingham Posted May 25, 2023 Author Share Posted May 25, 2023 Thanks @snowbear…I have just walked out of the kitchen and feel it was wrong again. I am going to apply the same method as yesterday - I am not going to go back and redo it. There is no need to. It means nothing and is completely trivial. I feel like the move to the house is getting closer and that after next week, I won’t be able to correct it. I am telling myself that there is nothing to correct, it doesn’t matter if my jumper went too close to the door frame. I know that the only way this is going to get any easier is by continually telling myself how meaningless all these rituals are and I have to be consistent with the messages I give myself. Link to comment
Gingham Posted May 25, 2023 Author Share Posted May 25, 2023 This isn’t working as well tonight - I have gone back and done the compulsion again but I still can’t get it to feel right. Why did I manage last night and not now? Link to comment
PolarBear Posted May 25, 2023 Share Posted May 25, 2023 1 hour ago, Gingham said: This isn’t working as well tonight - I have gone back and done the compulsion again but I still can’t get it to feel right. Why did I manage last night and not now? Conclusion: compulsions don't work. From a cognitive aspect, there is no reason for it to feel right anyway. Link to comment
snowbear Posted May 25, 2023 Share Posted May 25, 2023 26 minutes ago, PolarBear said: there is no reason for it to feel right anyway. Yesss! This is true, and is a great way to fight against that 'but it ought to feel right' thought. A lot of 'just right' OCD comes from the ought to/ should thinking distortion, and from the belief that 'there is a right and a wrong way' (there isn't.) Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now