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Life and depression


Guest smile

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I have just had a session with my cbt therapist and told him how I am feeling. He has given me a few things to work on, but I dont think they are going to work. I have told him about going back to bed, not wanting to do anything, wouldnt leave the house if my mum werent asking me to go to the shops etc. He says I am in a difficult position because I dont have any responsibilties to push me.

Was talking to my mum about it and she mentioned that she could see herself selling the house, so I wont be in that safe environment and that it will push me to get out and do things. I dont want her to do that, I know it would make me worse. I dont want her to sell the house, its the place I have lived since I was born.

I just dont see the point to anything again, I have no interests and have no motivation. I do very little in the day apart from watch tv or sleep. I still havent got back to doing any exercise or getting out and about.

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Hi Smile,

Sorry you are feeling low again and not motivated at the moment. You have been doing such great voluntary work at the school. Does that not give you any motivation or purpose?

You have been doing really great. Please hang in there. All you can do is try your best and please don't feel guilty.

Take care,

Sarah

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Its been a long day today. Have had to stay in all day as some men were fixing the floor up for us. Tomorrow will be exactly the same. I just feel so stuck at the moment. I know when tomorrow passes I wont want to leave the house. I dont feel like I have the effort to go anywhere or do anything. I dont want to go back to the school voluntary work. Now this other voluntary work is not sorted at the moment. I feel by next week I wont want to do it. I just dont feel capable of doing anything. All I want to do is sleep. It is the best feeling at the moment and the worst is when I wake up in the morning

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I am really feeling down at the moment. I am slipping at the moment. Have got into the habit of staying at home now. My physical activity is down to getting up to eat/use the toilet,if I am lucky I will go to the shops for a 15 minute walk. I no longer want to take my tablets, I am fed up of taking them. I dont see them helping me to get my life back on track. Last night I didnt sleep very well, which could be down to missing one of my tablets. I am also putting on weight through sitting around doing nothing. It isnt helping my confidence/self-esteem.

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Oh dear, Smile, I'm sorry you are struggling so much. Just remember you've felt like this before and then got a lot better and it can happen again. Try to focus on all the positives you've done and things that still make you happy such as your nieces.

Anything we can do to help?

Rach xx

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I just dont know what to do anymore. I literally have no effort to do anything. I feel so lazy. I just dont see a future for myself. I never see myself being able to go back to work. I havent seen friends for a while and hardly speak to them. Infact I feel like I dont want to get in touch with them anymore.

I cant see me being able to do this second lot of voluntary work. I just cant interact with others.

I am definately going to come off my tablets, I am just so fed up with taking them. I dont see them helping change the way I think or feel.

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Well, we know that you CAN interact with others because you read 2 stories out to a class not very long ago, and you interact on here. Finding it difficult and being unable to do it are different things.

Are you sure you want to come off the tablets? When were you last not taking any at all?

Take care,

Rach xx

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Had another sleepless night.

I started on medication last year in june. The only time I had a break is in april for a few weeks.

I have missed two lots of tablets in the past two nights and have cut down on the citalopram. At the moment i just dont see the point in taking them. I have just given up with them at the moment.

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I dont think my gp would be able to help. I think its up to my consultant. I am due to see her at the end of november. She wants to cut down the tablets then, so I am just doing it sooner.

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I feel like I am giving up now, I am not making the effort to do anything anymore. I just feel like this is the way things are supposed to be now. My days are spent at home watching tv and laying down. I do no physical activity, only read the newspaper. Only go out a couple of times a week to the local shops.

I dont see myself working, not talking to friends anymore and dont see a future. I just see myself living at home forever and relying on my mum. I am just fed up with how things are and that I back out of everything.I feel like I am hitting a self-distruct button. I cant tell my mum how I feel. She has booked a doctors appointment for tomorrow to talk about my tablets. She feels that it is missing out on the tablets for two days, but its not. I know this has been happening over the last couple of weeks.

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