after the battle

[Guest tyga]

About 2 years ago I had a major relapse of my OCD. I used this site a lot for help and the people here really got me through that hard time. So first I'd like to say thank you so much for this site. Without it, I really can't say where I'd be right now.

Anyway, I feel now as though I have really got my OCD under control. I have felt like this for about a year now. And you'd think I'd be feeling great and looking positively ahead. Well, I thought that's what I'd be feeling. But I don't. Instead, I feel as though I've wasted alot of time and haven't achieved half the things I wanted to by this age. I know this is not the right way to be thinking. How can I dismiss all that suffereing and pain I went through for so long and now say to myself 'Why haven't you done this yet, or that?'

It makes no sense, and all I feel now is depression that I haven't got the high flying life I thought I would. I'm sorry this is more of a moan than a helpful message to OCD sufferers. And I must say that even the way I feel now is better (and preferable) to what I have felt in the past. Is it that I'm just a negative thinker? Am I destined to always find the down side to every situation? I don't want to be this negative about my life, I want to be a positive, happy thinker who enjoys what they have. But all I can see is what I don't have.

It's just occured to me: could this be my OCD again but in a different form? I have gained control over my most terrifying thoughts but have these others, about other aspects of my life snuck through without my noticing? This truly is a devastating disorder. :dry:

Tyga

PS Sorry to drone on. I don't usually write this much. :original:

[Guest flap]

Hello.

Hmmm sounds like it could be ocd taking on another form.

Deal with the negative thoughts like you know you can and move on. Dont let ocd stop you from doing things you want to.

Focus on all the positive things you have in your life. You say you have managed to control this debilitating disorder relatively successfully for a year now and that is something to be mega proud of.

Don't put yourself down :original:

Flap