Joewest439

What I mean by my terminology is: Although I have given up trying to work out that obsession that I spent months and months trying to work out, it took over my life so much that it has now mutated into a fear that it's going to stick around regardless. Like impending doom. Like I'm too used to having it hang over me to fully move on. As in, I now keep getting intrusive thoughts along the lines of - 'What if it clings to me forever despite my letting go?' 'Is it still bothering me?' 'Have I really let go?' It's not the original obsession anymore, but the fear it'll stay with me despite my letting go. Do you know what I mean? Chaosed: I understand your discription, but I find that whole process not always possible, when the thoughts are coming thick and fast, and wouldn't analysing etc be the last thing one should do?

Can anyone recommend any web reachable CBT experts or people who can help me? All the 'specialists' in my area seem to know less than I do about OCD, and books do not address my specific circumstances. Perhaps there's a website service or something. I know CBT is probably better applied in person, but I'm rather optionless here. Having recurring intrusive thoughts that those intrusive thoughts will never fade is not something I can find much information on so far. I no longer respond with compulsive ruminating, but I hear CBT can also help with the interpretation of intrusive thoughts. Thanks people

Does anyone else get anxious that they are not reacting to intrusive thoughts as consistently as they have been? What I mean is, I can have a few days of being really awesome at it, an unwanted thought will pop up, whatever it is, and I will automatically recognise it as intrusive. But then I find that I don't tend to consider this as often, although thankfully I do still refrain from working thoughts out, which I suppose is the main thing. I get anxious that I need to be perfect at managing it, that I have to fully recognise them as unwanted, as well as not react to them. This in itself then becomes an intrusive thought. An intrusive thought about how I'm dealing with intrusive thoughts, if you will. Would CBT assist me in automatically recognising unwanted thoughts as what they are? Is it even necessary to consistently do so, as long as I'm not reacting to the thoughts? Thanks

In the past few days I've made huge progress with not responding to my intrusive thoughts. Mainly through an automatic recognition that they are indeed intrusive. This has definitely helped. The problem I'm having today, is that I'm beginning to obsess that this recognition is necessary to my progress. That I must realise they are intrusive. This has in itself become an intrusive thought. I know to obsess over this and 'try' to realise they are intrusive will be harmful, so surely all I can do is bear in mind that thoughts are intrusive, even if it doesn't always occur to me that they are? Thanks

Hey everyone, This may be a bit far out there, but I'm curious if this happens to anybody else other than myself. I sometimes get intrusive thoughts that seem like memories of obsessions I've been trying to let go of. They feel like split second broken memories of the truth of the obsessions, as if they are teasing me by suggesting that I am 'this close' to being able to remember the truth of the obsession, even if I no longer want to. Like they are almost revealing it all to me but not quite. I'm fairly sure it is just a nasty ocd trick, as I have encountered numerous seperate apparent 'memories' of the same obsession, and they can't all be accurate. It's suspiciously tortuous, as if ocd has an actual sadistic personality. It's really rather creepy. Can anyone relate?

Hope everyone is feeling good today, I wanted to get some opinions on handling intrusive thoughts. When they pop up, we can often resist the temptation to dwell on them. But I find that even a few moments of slipping up can lead to a snowball effect that causes intense anxiety for the rest of the day. My question is this. Do you find it easier to remind yourselves of the pointlessness of dwelling on them, or simply do nothing when they intrude? By reminding, I don't mean reassuring oneself about the actual content of the obsession, more of a big picture recollection of why there is no need to dwell. Or would even this method be a counter productive act of reassurance? Perhaps - 'If it's intrusive, then it should be ignored?'

I hear you my wise friend. I think I'm on the brink of being able to identify all intrusive thoughts. I suppose the clue is in the word intrusive. They often seem to have merit, but that doesn't mean I have to pay attention to them. Would it be wise to adopt a policy of 'if I don't want the thought - then ignore it'?

Hi everyone, I thought I'd look for some opinions on my current scenario. As some of you know, I experienced the horror of having a stuck obsession for months, being unable to work it out. I've gone through numerous little periods of moving on from it, with the most recent one being a pretty solid effort. I'm now actually able to ignore the temptation to ruminate over it to a point where I more or less move on from it, which of course is great. However, I find that even if I slip up for a few seconds - it results in tremendous anxiety that lasts ages. It's so unfair. I believe the obsession in question is fuelled by a partial believe that I am psychotic / sadistic. I know I'm at least mostly good though. My point. It feels like I am running away from the obsession, and I don't want it to be hanging over me the rest of my life, treading on egg shells, when I could just tackle the suspicions about myself instead and thus get rid of the thing that's fuelling it. A short cut, if you will. At the same time, I surely can never be 100 percent certain that I am not 'bad', so exploring who I am in such depth, would surely be futile? Is it the OCD telling me that it's necessary to explore this avenue in order to break free from this? I'm not actually sure if I even give a damn if I'm 'bad', and it's merely the OCD using the the uncertainty as fuel.

Hi everyone, I wanted to get some opinions on something. Basically, I've accepted uncertainty about a long standing obsession, embraced it even. Yet the same cloud of anxiety still hangs over me, but I do not believe it still relates to the obsession, more that it has now become an obsession that this lingering anxiety will never leave me. I really do feel like I can live without knowing the content of the original obsession now, pretty comfortable with it, but it's like ocd is staying on even though I no longer fear the original thing, you get what I mean? How would you handle this?

Thank you both for your replies. I have tried CBT, albeit from a self help book, I didn't get much joy from it to be honest. You are right Polar Bear in that I do still try and work things out in my head, usually after a few days of trying to move on, when I lose patience with trying. I suppose this keeps putting me back at square one all the time. To be truthful, I find that pretty much any method I try seems to just make the problem feel even more significant, even though they are methods of helping oneself. It's like I have become obsessed with recovery itself. And like all these elaborate techniques should not even be necessary. Every so often I find myself simply moving on a bit, without even reassurance why I should do so. I'm starting to dismiss the need to know the meaning behind every thought I have. I've usually always got to maintain this squeeky clean image of myself, but now I'm beginning to accept that I am definitely mostly good, whether it's 100 percent good or not. I try and view obsessions the same as I have viewed general real life worries over the years, - things have worried me in the past and I didn't require certainty in order to move on from them, so it should be the same now. I think so far I have felt like the only way to escape this obsession is for me to comply with it and perform the compulsions, I have thought 'yes this is ocd, so what good will being comfortable with uncertainty attain if the ocd is going to continue to be ocd and make me want to work it out regardless.' But I do believe that accepting uncertainty will ultimately get rid of the motivation to figure things out overall.

Hi everyone, it's been a while. Has anyone had the same obsession for months and months, but been able to eventually stop thinking about it? I have had the same thing clinging to me continuously for about three months, the problem is I am starting to lose faith that it'll ever fade away. This is because I have tried EVERYTHING. Forums, books, counselling, distraction, telling myself it doesn't matter, telling myself it's just my ocd, you name it. Even when I do attain moderate satisfaction, no matter how confident I am about it at first - it just turns to ashes a few days later. I made good progress in counselling but now have lost faith in my counsellors methods, but I can't even tell whether that's justified or whether it's ocd making me doubt him. It's a trap because the obsession feels like it should be so simple to work out, which makes it very very tempting to ponder it. But I feel that the motivational factors for the fear (suspicions that I am partially vicious) is such a deep seeded and complex topic to me, that I can't get past it. I just can't imagine it ever fading now, it's become my whole life, and no matter what I do - the obsession still feels significant. It feels like the only way to escape this obsession is to basically cure myself of ocd altogether, if that's even possible. It's like it's the obsession to end all obsessions. I know there are people out there who have the same obsession for years, but do they ever eventually get over not knowing and move on?

I'm hanging onto it to an extent, as I still hold a certain level of importance to it. This is something I feel I have no choice in. I can decide not to ruminate etc, but my brain is telling me the obsession remains important. But I suppose that's the nasty trick, even though logically it's all in the past now, my OCD is making me feel otherwise. It's important because my OCD says so, not because it's actually important. It's so weird, knowing there is literally no point and nothing to gain from hanging onto the obsession, but not being able to let it go despite this. What a mad world.

Yes I've been trying to explore new avenues of occupying myself for a while now, perhaps cutting out smoking will assist with this. I need to read up on how to not respond to doubtful thoughts, as I feel this is what my main problem is, smoke or no smoke. I find it very very hard to let them be, one minute I'm resisting the urge to ruminate and the next I've just realised I've been ruminating for hours.

I stopped smoking for over three months not so long ago and I did not feel any better mentally, in fact I think I felt worse. And three months is usually how long it takes to flush out of ones system. Point is, last time I tried stopping, I still felt just as ****, but was just more bored as well. I think I potentially have more to gain than lose though from stopping, it's just a shame to give up the last thing I have that gives me relative amusement. But it's true - it's worth exploring. What I have been smoking would not be described as strong, but that's beside the point I know.

Fair points but anyway no it's not working for me, I'm just not sure stopping it would make any difference, as I've been doing it for years and only recently has my OCD become extremely bad. Its not that I don't take this fight seriously enough to stop smoking, more that I am at breaking point and I don't want to antagonise my mental state any more. From what I've read in the past, opinion on weed being bad for OCD or not is divided, but perhaps that's wrong. I have started seeing a councillor this week yes, he tells me I first have to stop believing that this nightmare will never end. And it's funny you mentioned the damaged leg - I've had one for months too but can't help but still play every week.

Hi all, I have been smoking cannabis on a nightly basis every night for the past couple of years. I have had severe Pure O for an even longer time. I'm trying to move on from a 9 week old obsession at the moment and can't decide wether giving up smoking will be beneficial, or make things even worse. I find smoking it can help me think about other things, but there's no denying the anxiety and confusion it's use can also cause. Coming off it could make me see things more clearly, I think.

I hear you, and thanks. I keep feeling that no matter how much the obsession fades - it'll always feel 'unresolved' and so will always have the potential to draw me back into rumination. I find it very hard to allow the doubtful thoughts to just be there, without crossing the line into rumination. This is something I feel I need advice on, in terms of practicality, if any of you can relate. I know the doubt may cling to me for weeks or more, it's managing it that I have trouble with. Is it best to just let them in until they fade?

Is it normal for an obsession to go away but then come back a while later, then go away again and so on and so on? I'm trying to let an obsession go but it's clinging on to me, I know it takes time for the mind to move on but it doesn't feel like it's gonna go at the moment. Would the waves of doubtful thoughts get less and less frequent over time? Thanks

Thanks for the advice. Is it normal for the obsession to go away but then come back a while later, then go away again and so on and so on? Would the waves of doubtful thoughts get less and less frequent over time?

Hope everyone is well, Can people comment on the early stages of stopping rumination? What I mean is, when we try to let go, but the disorder is relentlessly making us feel like this is the wrong thing to do. I've noticed that no matter how confident I am when I begin to move on, a day or two later - I'm back to square one, because the thoughts creep in. I'm fighting like crazy to distract myself, but the presence of the doubt seems automatic, as well as unstoppable, and I lose faith. It's like the scene in the film Castaway when he's trying to make it over each wave and keeps failing. I think I need help with managing the doubtful thoughts. Do I fend them off using distraction, or do I let them unfold? I feel I need a mantra to say to myself but whichever one I pick seems to produce more doubt, even though I know they're true reasons I should let go. it feels like it'll never end but I'm trying to believe it will go away once I get momentum.

I feel that there's nothing wrong with regarding the obsession as probably just an intrusive thought that has happened a dozen times before. It can't be a coincidence that the same trigger has undoubtedly set of my harm OCD in the past. And then I accept the fact I cannot have certainty about this, only probability. I find it nearly impossible to let it go without this partial recognition. I can still give up my search for certainty though whilst acknowledging that I only probably know the answer?

As a strategy really. For me I find it helpful, if not crucial, to give myself some sort of platform in my quest for peace. If I tell myself 'it doesn't matter', or 'it's OCD', etc, it gives me something to work with, otherwise I feel like I'm half accepting the dangers the obsession suggests. I think this is a reasonable thing to do, as it sort of guides you along, you still have to commit to it. Part of me feels like it is a contradictory act of reassurance though. I can distract myself at times, it depends. Sometimes just watching TV can work, sometimes not. Socialising is hit and miss, some times I'm in a world of my own even amongst friends.

Okay, I'm going to try. Is it going to be counter productive for me to remind myself that this is happening to me because I have OCD? Or would that be just another form of reassurance?

I would give anything to be able to put it all behind me, I have tried making myself believe that all this doesn't matter, that it's OCD, that it's the chemical imbalance in my brain, but it just doesn't sink in. Maybe I'm making a mistake by justifying why I should be letting go at all? Every time I make an almighty effort to commit to the truth, I last a couple of days before the fear that the obsession will never go away gets too much. The more time goes on - the more aware I am that it's still bothering me, I suppose it's a leap of faith?

Thanks for the good advice, I'll be sure to try it out. I've actually taken a serious downward spiral in the last few hours. Something hideous happened. I fell into the trap of ruminating about the 8 week old obsession, trying to remember it. For a split second, I got what seemed to be a memory of the moment I've been trying to recall all this time, a fleeting memory so vague that I can't pinpoint it or recall it again, but I'm pretty sure remembering it for sure would end this nightmare. So now I am even more stuck than before, because I'm chasing a split second teaser memory that I can't re experience. As if it wasn't hard enough.