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  1. Today
  2. Had a flu jab yesterday. A bit sniffly today but making sure I keep warm and hydrated.

  3. Hi Guys Just an update on the radio appearance to mark World Mental Health Day and OCD Awareness Week. As I wrote before it took place, on Hallowe’en night, Thursday October 31st, I was given a 12 minute slot on the “ShoutOut” programme that networks out on eleven local radio stations from studios in Bristol and is also podcast on various platforms, to the tune of around 40,000 downloads a week. I was joined by a Counsellor and Mental Health professional who work for the Hope Project aimed at reducing male suicide in Bristol. We spoke about OCD from my point of view as a sufferer and also about the need for people to seek support if they are struggling with their mental health. Key points made included that: · Men need to learn to unpack their mental heath issues with friends, family and professionals. · Women have better mental health outcomes than men partly because they talk with girlfriends, relatives and professionals. · Voluntary sector organisations like OCD UK lobby for better funding for mental health services. · Self Help Organisations and Mutual Support Networks are of enormous help to many people. · Sometimes you have to lobby the NHS hard for the treatment and support you need. Be strong, get friends and family to help, and use the support of groups like OCD UK. · Hold the hope – or if you cannot hold it, have someone else hold it for you, like a family member or a friend. Or even a support group. The message is that people do achieve their goals and dreams, have relationships, jobs and contribute to society, even though they have or have had, OCD. · Recovery is possible and desirable! That was the positive message that we wanted to convey. All in all, a successful appearance on the radio, and something that hopefully will touch people who need to know that there is help for their own , or someone else’s, OCD. Best wishes Tez
  4. Thank you very kindly Hopingtorecover. And to you also.
  5. Thanks so much for sharing. All the best in your continuing recovery process.
  6. Hi Hopingtorecover. I’ve been racking what remains of my brain to come up with useful tidbits from my journey. I must stress that I don’t consider myself cured of OCD. I am, however, managing my obsessions and compulsions far more successfully than once I did. I have suffered from a number of the themes discussed daily on this forum. What I eventually realised is that the common denominator was a disproportionate degree of anxiety. I was a master catastrophisor! As soon as I opened my eyes every morning I convinced myself that today was the day that I would drive into oncoming traffic, or grope a family member, or confess to some imaginary crime. I began to avoid situations where I might encounter other humans. As a consequence, I became more isolated, more fearful, more alone. As with any anxiety disorder, the path to wellness is often beset with a succession of evermore daunting exposures to that which we fear. A significant turning point for me was to talk, in detail, about the themes of which I had been most ashamed, in a group therapy setting. This is not for the faint of heart, however I was desperate by this stage. The longer I spoke for, the more the reaction of the other members morphed from seemingly appalled silence into (albeit initially cautious) understanding and acceptance. This was critical, as it robbed my thoughts of their power. Because having OCD, irrespective of one’s themes and how terrifying and dirty they might make one feel, is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. CBT helped enormously. Some of the exposures were almost insufferably uncomfortable at times. What made ALL the difference was finding a therapist who specialised in treating OCD and who had come across all of my themes before. So, instead of the balking response I had anticipated, she just nodded and smiled with every revelation. As stated previously, I’m not cured. But I am better. If I could offer any advice, it would be this: be really, really honest; listen to what those in the know tell you; and be brave. Because it will hurt. But it’s only through learning to sit in the **** that one can ever hope to recover. And I’m spent!
  7. Well done @leif for making so much progress on your own. Yes as I type I’m feeding the baby while they sit in their uniforms. Repeat until it’s boring now I think! I also managed the morning routine with them and eliminated a whole bunch of compulsions by copying how my husband (when I let him) does it. I’ve got my second Skype therapy this evening.
  8. Yes still making progress--but just feels at a much slower pace compared to when I was just coming back from that really bad relapse. The motivation piece is harder for me because my life feels ok despite the OCD restrictions so I really need to try to get more of that going. I feel like I've been working on using public toilets forever and feels like I should be much further ahead with them by now, but the progress is slow but still there. Besides obvious things like that I can see progress also in my approach to life. I see myself trusting myself more that I can handle anxiety, or that I can trust my assessment of a situation instead of asking for reassurance. No I'm not seeing a therapist. I've actually never seen a therapist that treats OCD for more than 2 sessions. Just cost-wise it hasn't been an option. So very glad for the good workbooks out there and also for this forum! How are you getting on with your psychologist via skype? How often are the sessions? And are you sticking with not having the kids change when they get home from school?
  9. For those of us who don’t know you can you talk to us about your recovery journey? It’s so encouraging to hear good stories.
  10. Bless you gingerbreadgirl. It’s very pleasing to learn that my attempts at levity occasionally hit the mark. X
  11. Hi Gemma. Thank you very much for your message. If wisdom comes from finally taking the cotton wool out of one’s ears and stuffing it into one’s mouth, then perhaps, today, I have a modicum! X
  12. Really glad to see you od! You helped me a lot during a really rough patch. And gave us quite a few laughs too . I've wondered about you a few times and how you're getting on. Really glad you've been doing well x
  13. Thank you I forgot how awful it felt as it’s been a long time it’s like the urge to ask or mention that particular obsession again is burning a hole in your brain until you do it! My ears ring at the same time.
  14. I remember you too It's good to hear you've been doing well and you've had success with CBT, keep up the good work. It's also always great to have more people on the forum to share their wisdom so glad you've come back x
  15. Hi Donna That's great to hear you've been doing well. Yes treat this as a blip and ignore these urges to seek reassurance and you'll feel better in no time
  16. Hello I havnt been on the forum for over a year as my ocd has been much better than it was, however Iv noticed it creeping back after a stressful few months Iv had and at times ocd is bringing up old obsessions that I had previously sought reassurance for in the past and it’s making me feel the need to ask reassurance again for the same old obsessions, even though Iv done this a million times over once before about the same thoughts, is this just a blip and should I ignore these urges to ask reassurance? as I’m terrified ocd is going to start again! I know you can’t avoid stressful events. It makes you vulnerable to ocd again. Thanks for any advice
  17. Hey PB. Good to hear from you. Did you find your glasses? Delightful of you to toast my return!
  18. Bless your heart Emsie, you wee ray of sunshine you. X
  19. In other words, OCD doesn't actually help at all. The reason is that human memory is imperfect. Its not designed to allow perfect recall.
  20. You've said this before. And you come back. You've said it again. And you come back. Why? Because you have OCD and thats what people with OCD do. Oh I know you keep insisting you don't have OCD. And you are free to say that, heck you are free to believe it if you want. But I don't think you do. Because if you did you wouldn't have come back. I'm not sure who you are trying to convince with all your arguing, yourself or us. Maybe both. Well I've got bad news for you, we aren't going to agree with you. We aren't going to tell you your claim of being predestined towards incest is right. Just not gonna happen, for oh so many reasons. I'm sure part of you thinks that would resolve things, if only you can get us to admit, then you can admit it yourself, then it would be "real". Or something along those lines. I hate to break it to you but even if some well meaning but misguided person here DID give you that reassurance, you'd still be back, because it wouldn't change anything. So you aren't going to convince us, and it would be meaningless if you did anyway. So how about yourself? Have you convinced yourself yet? You keep claiming you do, but then you keep coming back. You keep arguing endlessly about how this or that means its NOT OCD (and you are basically wrong every time). I know you think that if you just "accept" it things will be ok, but if that were the case why are you still suffering? Haven't you already accepted this? Multiple times. Over months (if not years)? Yet here you are again and again and again. If you've accepted it you'd move on with your life, you'd be happy. Saying your sorry but repeating the behavior isn't actually being sorry. If you are TRULY sorry you'd try and make amends. So here is my request for you, the thing you can do that would show you are truly sorry. Accept that you are NOT good at judging what OCD is and isn't. Accept that you just don't understand OCD all that well. Thats not a crime, it doesn't make a bad person, we all have things we don't understand, thats normal. But YOU need to realize that you are very very bad at understanding and judging OCD. Its just not one of your strengths. So as a favor to the people here on this forum, I ask you, as a kind of penance for your perceived being "a pain", that you stop trying to insist on what OCD is and isn't. How about it? Can you do that? That doesn't even mean you have to admit or believe that you HAVE OCD, just that you are accepting that you aren't a good judge on that topic.
  21. Because you have a mental illness called OCD No, you are not functioning because you are obsessing about a possible memory of a possible mistake (that probably didn't even happen), there is a difference. The issue is not what did or did not happen 4 years ago, its your fixation on it and unwillingness to accept that you may never know for sure AND DON'T HAVE TO KNOW. You are playing OCD's game and OCD will always win when you play its game. Think about this for a second. You are terrified about the possibility of maybe having done something wrong years ago, so as a result you are willing to neglect your own partner because if you didn't you would what? Treat him poorly? You are already doing that! He and you are ALREADY suffering as if the worst of your fears was true. No "what if" about it. You are behaving completely illogically because you are playing OCD's game. It would be far better for both you AND him to show him affection. To talk to him. To treat him AND YOURSELF like decent people and stop focusing on this one moment from the past you can't even prove happened. You are allowing OCD to call the shots rather than doing so on your own. It has ALL the characteristics of OCD. All of them. Worrying about things you have done or may have done is utterly common among OCD sufferers. Its also a common topic around here. People who worry they may have accidentally hit someone with their car. People who worry about having "contaminated" other people. Heck in one other thread going on right now on this forum a sufferer is obsessed with having slightly pressed on a soft spot on their babies head at some point in the past and is convinced this will cause permanent brain damage to the child (ignoring the advice and reassurance of actual doctors on this one). You think worrying about something you MIGHT have done isn't common with OCD? Its par for the course. Your worries may seem special and unique and different from every other sufferer, but they really aren't. The only thing that really separates what you are dealing with from what other OCD sufferers are dealing with is that YOU are dealing with it. Thats about it. Of course you are going to perceive your own problems differently, you experience them first hand. You can read about someone else problems and maybe even imagine them, but you aren't going to feel them like you do your own. Its a mistake to assume that makes your problems special or different. When you do so you aren't thinking objectively. So break the cycle. CHOOSE to respond to your OCD differently. Seek out help from a qualified professional. Start telling yourself and acting like this isn't a big deal (because its not). You don't have to BELIEVE its not a big deal at first. You can think it probably is and you are being a jerk by pretending its not. DO IT ANYWAY. Part of how I recovered from my own OCD hell periods was forcing myself to do things I didn't want to but knew I should. Didn't feel like getting up in the morning? Forced myself to get out of bed. Didn't want to leave the house? Forced myself to go to the store. Didn't want to go to a social event with friends because of my worry? Forced myself to go anyway. And you know what? Often times, especially at first, I didn't really have a blast, I still felt a lot of anxiety. But I made a step, I did something in spite of the OCD. Not because I was especially talented or skilled, but because I made a choice, because I was stubborn. And it was hard. And it sucked. And I wished I could just go and have fun rather than forcing myself to go and merely tolerate it. But you know what? Over time I DID have fun again. I did stop feeling crippling anxiety at the thought of going to a social event. Yes medication helped, yes therapy helped, but ultimately I still had to make the choice to do things. It wasn't "wait til your better THEN do things" it was "DO things THEN it will help you become better". You can wait for the anxiety to resolve itself or be replaced by something new, but you'll have a lot better chance of happiness and success if you don't wait. If you force yourself to do things despite what OCD says. Not because you'll be happy right away, but because NOT doing things will mean you remain miserable. Break the cycle, its up to you.
  22. Yesterday
  23. You really need to stop fighting us over you actually having OCD. Uou do it because OCD is the doubting disease and you are doubting you have it. The danger is that if you start to brlieve your doubts, you'll tend to not put the effort into fixing the problem, because you don't believe it's OCD. I'm not going to, yet again, go over why you have OCD and why your cheating obsession is OCD. Just go with it. You have OCD. Period.
  24. No, it makes no sense that you might be contaminated. You're talking about a drop of pee, not Fukishima nuclear waste.
  25. Hey, OD! Of course I remember you. Now if I could just find my glasses...
  26. Hey OD, you are super memorable! Loved your wit and your way with words! You really helped me when I first joined the forums a couple of years ago. It's lovely to have you back and so good to hear that you're doing well and making lots of progress. X
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