ecomum

I have often found if I am having a bad day , I kind of allow myself a bad day and then it goes. If I try and fight it it gets worse. By doing this my bad days have never become more that just that, one bad day. I still keep busy so I don’t get caught in a thought but I accept that I won’t achieve much that day and go easy on myself . I tell myself I am allowed one bad day and it’s telling me I need a break. That way it doesn’t feel like I’ve messed up long term and it passes way quicker. hope this helps you.

Yes definitely, when it’s bad I lose a lot of sleep and when I’m managing it, it’s like constantly having to do two things , trying to keep distracted or mentally fighting it. if anyone has any tips at all about this I’d love to know too. hopefully Helloitsme we can come up with some ideas. Useful thread.

Panicked

My ocd is all real event based.. I still have it but my episodes are much shorter now and can be over in say an hour when they could go on for days and days before , so I do feel I have achieved some sort of control over them. Aside from the getting busy and telling myself other people wouldn't worry to this level, my main way that I beat it is I allow myself one 'what if'. I'm trying to think of a generic example , say if I dropped some glass, I would think what if someone cuts themselves and clean it up. If I then get another 'what If' eg .what if someone bleeds to death, sues me etc etc. Then I know it's ocd because there's more than one 'what if'. Once I 'know' it's ocd I can then treat it as such and accept it as such. I found it hard for many years to figure out a way to apply reasoning to a situation as I was raised by a mum with, I now believe, untreated ocd who told me 'what ifs ' all day long and I had no sense of what was a reasonable concern. It's taken me a long time, I still have it, but this method is the best thing I've found to tame it. I hope this helps you.

Thank you for your reply Caramoole. I think you are right about calmly calling them out. I find it hard because I end up bursting into tears and then looking non assertive then they get even more patronising and believe they are even more right. Its so hard with ocd because I have such low self esteem and on any given day I am worried I have harmed someone so I am already mentally dealing with that, so I am questioning myself and my feelings already. People refer to my 'anxiety' and my crying , 'oh you'll get anxious at this ' ,'oh this will make you cry' like it's a free for all discussion. I know it's these couple of people's rudeness and insensitivity but it undermines me in work ,home decisions etc. I think you are right about being assertive , I may look for some self help I this area. Thank you kindly ?

Hi everyone, I have become increasingly good at not seeking reassurance .however in the past I have . Now I am finding that whenever I do something or express an opinion certain people either say its my 'anxiety' or don't take me seriously.these concerns are not ocd related . The people concerned just don't take anything I say seriously. It is not everyone but the people who do are in my life a lot. I know it's about them being insensitive and patronising and not about me but it is very frustrating. I am a professional and a mum of five well raised older children but I get treated like I'm incapable and stereotyped by certain people. Has anyone else experienced this or have any advice hoe I can deal with it. Thank you

I have real life ocd too. I think people without ocd would say , 'I reacted to a break up ' and leave it at that. But we go over and over it. Splitting up.is hard and that with ocd is hard. Be kind to yourself. Get busy and distracted , it's the best way I have found to beat real life ocd . It will pass.

I'm in a similar situation.) I have been on meds and they have worked well for me).I am now at a bad point where I think I should maybe go back on them . It is a difficult decision . I have a drs appointment on 15th about something else, so I decided to try self help etc and give it my best shot and if I still feel I need them I will ask Dr. My point is, that giving myself a designated time, of a couple of weeks,in which to decide is like a weight off my mind and I can think a bit more clearly about it ,not under pressure. Hope this helps

Reading self help journalling, watching counrtyside/ gardening on YouTube and coming on here.

I have felt exactly like you. Ocd causes us to feel like we are the exception. If it didn't we could just stop worrying because we would know it was ocd and not real. I allowed myself to cry and hug etc. I would call it allowing myself to have a bad day. Lots of self care , just forget about tasks etc for that day. Then I got practical, went to drs, got self help books etc. Now I still have moments like this but I manage them way better and they are much shorter and pass quicker. I call ocd a wolf and when it attacks I say 'oh look the wolves are running again" helps me to fight it. Hope this helps you anthu

I went out today. I made a choice to go out somewhere nice rather than sticking to only going when and where I have too. I'm awake now ruminating about who I could have harmed, but I did it !!! and now I can build on it by using it as an opportunity to beat the rumination so that it remains a success and step forward. Well done everyone posting positives.this thread is great because it offers hope even when I've nothing to post .

Your ocd sounds similar to mine. Although mine is not relationship based it plays out in the same way. I will seek reassurance and then feel ok for a bit.but then I think 'oh but I forgot to tell them this ..." and then it all starts again. Usually with me it's the Dr, not my husband. But that's because ocd is the same , it's ocd regardless of the content. I believe the cotent changes and focuses on the the thing you most value, in your case your husband , it's like we are scared to be happy incase we lose everything.i had a great day yesterday and now I'm awake in the night ruminating over how I could have harmed someone. In the morning I'll probably seek reassurance and get distressed and upset my children ( who I value most ) and a lovely day will become a bad memory So Im not going to tell them my worries. I will be brave, and see it as a wolf I have to battle ,knowing it will pass and i will upset them for nothing as the reassurance will never be enough. I really hope this shows you what ocd does and a way to fight it. I can always see on here how everyone else's is ocd but mine feels real. I too have 'real ' event ocd . I did go near the person I think I've harmed but it's the imagined, far fetched interpretation or consequences I come up that make it ocd. Keep busy and it will pass. Hope this helps.

Nights are worse because there are no distractions or things to get us busy. I don't like to wake my family because they need their rest ,so definitely coming on here and yes shout is a good idea. Just doing a small task, even if it's popping to the bathroom can bring focus back to reality. Glad I could help. It will pass.

As you know from other post, I have the same experiences as you with odd. I have made progress. I now know its ocd, this is a biggy in road to recovery. I have worked on getting distracted and not confessing to my family and friends .often this works. I do have relapses from time to time but I celebrate small gains . It does feel like 2 steps forward and one back but however gradual it can go the right way. I crave normal and boring too. I try and note down in my journal ,or think about the ok ,and even good , times.you will find they are there too and they add up and put the bad ones into better perspective. Getting better is not linear , but having notes to look at when we aren't thinking clearly definitely helps .and of course coming on this great forum. Hope this helps.

This happens to me too. If you looked back through my posts you will see most of mine are in night. You will forget the scary dream and it will pass but I know how you feel when it has just happened. Coming on here is good because it shifts your focus to this forum, it often helps me and by the time I have typed I have calmed down a bit. Also I go on my phone and watch something light, usually old 90s comedy on Netflix for a bit and I usually doze back off. If my body is numb ,I force myself to get up and make a cuppa, and this is harder than it sounds sometimes, because it's very grounding back into reality. I hope this helps and you get some rest.