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About snowbear

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    OCD-UK Member and

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    North Wales
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    Creative writing, psychology, mental resilience and leadership

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  1. Hi Trillion and welcome to the forum. It's normal to feel insecure and a bit stressed in a new job, at least for the first few weeks until you settle into it. You sound as though you unnecessarily give yourself a very hard time. Where others seem better than you it's most likely just they're more familiar with the job. So a matter of time ,not ability. You'll catch up quickly after a few months doing the same work. Meanwhile, you need to boost your own confidence by reminding yourself that you're succeeding just by learning, doing your best and having fun in the process! (If your job doesn't feel like fun or doesn't interest you much try to find bits of it you enjoy and remind yourself it's not all bad rather than lump the whole situation into a mental file labelled 'boring'.) Boosting confidence comes from tasting success. So look at what you've got to learn to enable you to do the job and set yourself one small task per day to master. Don't bite off more than you can chew! Keep the goals small and enjoy the feeling of multiple small successes. Day by day your confidence will grow. If you have a setback or don't achieve your goal one a particular day, simply let it go as par for the course. NOBODY is perfect, and not succeeeding at everything all the time is normal, so label the 'failure' as normal and let it go. Have you had any specific therapy to help you manage your anxiety?
  2. Hi Chlo, Sounds like the 'CBT' you had may have jumped straight into behavioural therapy without doing the cognitive part. The cognitive side teaches you how to look at your obsessions differently regardless of the specific content. Putting it simply it's a 'one size fits all' attack on obsessions and compulsions so it doesn't matter a jot if they morph to new areas as the same principles can be applied across the board. Getting referred for CBT isn't going to be easy until the virus crisis is over, so meantime what about a self-help book to get you started? Have you read any up to now? Or do you have any worksheets from the CBT you had before that you could refer back to? You can describe your obsession here if it helps and maybe we can pick it apart and give some guidance on how to start tackling it.
  3. teaspoon (Watching Masterchef I learned using a teaspoon is the easiest way to peel a fresh ginger root )
  4. It's just a feeling though. I don't think you're being annoying at all. Give yourself a hug and try not to beat yourself up so much.
  5. Hi Becks, There's OCD at work again! You've cleaned the door handle - job done. That should be an end to it, and for your partner it is. However for you a liitle OCD voice keeps telling you it's not enough which generates the feeling that it's not clean. The feeling keeps you focused on an imagined risk and because you can't 'fix' the feeling it makes you feel stressed. First step is to acknowledge that the problem is a feeling of unease about potential risk rather than actual risk. Second step is to stop listening to the little voice telling you the risk is real because it feels unsafe. A combination of understanding the true nature of the problem and distracting yourself when the thoughts return usually works. Some people prefer to counter the worry thoughts by taking a 'so what' attitude and touch the handle without washing their hands, but I understand that at the moment that might be asking too much of you unless done immediately after the handle has been cleaned. Hating yourself because you're struggling isn't helping anybody. Accept that you're doing your best to get a grip on this by reaching out for advice to people who understand and give yourself a break if you find it takes a bit of time and practise to get to a place where you're more comfortable about ignoring these kind of feelings.
  6. Same way any of us come back from a lapse or relaspse. Accept we're on a learning curve, that nobody's perfect (and certainly not all the time! ) Mistakes and lapses are expected and are part of the overall journey to eventual recovery and wellbeing. So let it go. No further ruminating over what you've done - treat it as past/gone and start over. If you think you've not been a good friend to someone then aplogise to them for getting caught up in your worries for a bit, tell them you're going to try to be there for them more in future and follow up by being the kind of friend you want to be. Social media can be very compelling and its easy to get caught up in it. But any website or platform which encourages you to ruminate is a place to avoid. Totally different to OCD avoidance, this is simply refusing to get tied up in irrelevant people's personal opinions and discussions. Steer clear for your own health's sake.
  7. Hi JMG2020, Sending you sympathy for lockdown making your daughter's OCD harder to manage. Rituals are about trying to feel she has some control over her thoughts and feelings. It might help to sit down and talk about this as a family, not singling her out as the only one who feels things just now are beyond her control, uncertain or a bit frightening. If all family members get asked how they're feeling in turn and each has a chance to share their concerns, she might realise it's not just her and be more willing to discuss how she feels. The second part of the family meeting can then be brainstorming ideas and agreeing ways in which you are all going to help each other to cope with feelings of fear or uncertainty during the lockdown, and how you're going to keep yourselves occupied so you don't spend time worrying about your thoughts. By demonstrating how people without OCD deal with uncertainty and stress in a healthy way you will be teaching her a method of tackling and managing her OCD fears.
  8. Hi Cub, I'm sorry to hear your finding this difficult. Your post sounds to me like a person trying to make sense of their world at a challging time (a very natural thing to do.) You look for explanations which fit with your beliefs, also understandable, but there is much in life that will never be explainable and simply has no reason behind it. For those with religious backgrounds the best explantion they can give themselves is often something like, 'God must have his reasons and it's ok if I don't know or understand those reasons fully; I just need to accept what is and carry on as normal. ' It can entail whatever you want it to entail. Which is to say you can go about things in a healthy way (acceptance, letting worries go, trusting in God) or in a way which temporarily makes you feel more in control but is fuelling mental illhealth (ruminating on God's purpose and what you should be doing to please/appease him, compulsive praying, seeking reassurance from others.) It's not so much about how close you get to God, rather in the way you choose to demonstrate that closeness. If you are thinking of this time as a journey you are being taken on, then all you need to do is be confident the path you travel is intended to lead you to a good place and to being a stronger, better, happier person. Anything which keeps you stuck (ruminating, reassurance seeking, checking) isn't moving you forward so isn't part of the journey. Then, should you catch yourself worrying if you're doing things right you only need to acknowledge 'this is me being stuck, not journeying', accept you're doing ok without further questioning and let it go.
  9. Hi Becks, Very understandable to feel that OCD is somehow keeping you safer or helping you cope, but it's just an illusion. Focusing on something else is exactly what you need to do just now. Perhaps try some relaxation exercises and maybe get absorbed in a hobby to keep your mind occupied with another topic.
  10. No worries ecomum. :) Hope you're feeling better today.
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