Bev53

And it will get easier every time you do it. You've been struggling for a long time so change is not going to happen quickly, but every step forward, no matter how small, is progress. Don't be disheartened, and don't feel bad for slipping back into old thinking habits. You have evidence that not giving in to the compulsions works, and is the right thing to do. Keep positive, and keep trying, you've got this.

Hi Charlotte, Well done for persevering with CAMHS, your daughter is lucky to have you fighting in her corner, even if she maybe currently doesn't appreciate it. Venting is good if it helps you feel a little better. It's really tough when no one seems to be listening and you're not sure where to turn for help. I really hope CAMHS can get a treatment plan in place to help your daughter. In the meantime take care of and make time for yourself. I know it can be hard, but you're in the best position to help her when you keep yourself well. Wishing you all well

I know therapy can be expensive but if it's the right therapy it seems to me it could save you money in the long run. I'm sorry if that sounds harsh, I really don't mean it to be, but it seems you've already spent a lot of cash unnecessarily, and could yet spend more. Maybe the therapy would be a better place to consider spending the money.

How did you get on in therapy? Have you more sessions planned?

Hi PemB, To be honest the ones I tried did all impact on my sex life, but some to a lesser extent, and like you I was concerned this would impact on my relationship. That's not to say it would be the same for you. However this was an issue too before taking the medication, as my head wasn't in the right place to be bothered about a sex life, and with the medication my head was more keen but my body was unresponsive! I was lucky enough to have a very supportive partner, and we got through. With regards appetite, my appetite generally decreased on all the ones I tried, which just shows we're all different. Despite this, they really helped me get to a better place, and in my case I'm not sure I'd have got to where I am today without them.

Hi PemB I know where you're coming from. I have been on a few different SSRI's and experienced similar side effects to yourself. It's worth talking to your GP as an alternative SSRI may not affect you in the same way.

Many medical professionals recommend maintaining medication alongside therapy as you may find it easier to engage, and therefore the therapy more effective, since they 'take the edge off' the anxiety as you describe. When I was on an SRRI my GP advised me not to rush to stop taking them when I started feeling better. Its easy to think we're OK when in actual fact we're only ok because of the medication, if that makes sense. I'd also agree with others comments that it is best to taper off, if deciding to stop taking them. SSRI's don't help everyone, but they obviously helped you. With likely a combination of medication and the therapy, you CAN beat this.

Hi Charlotte, My son was 19 when OCD reared it's head and even at that age I found it so hard NOT to give reassurance. No parent likes to see their child at whatever age, getting distressed. Unfortunately as you are finding, no matter how much reassurance you give it is never enough. With your daughter being only 13, she will likely be referred to Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services (CAMHS) and I'm not sure what current waiting times are. I think whilst you wait for therapy, all of you learning as much as you can about the condition can only help. You are probably already aware that the recommended treatment for OCD is Cognitive Behaviour Therapy(CBT). When my son was under CAMHS when he was a similar age to your daughter (for anxiety...which we now know was OCD) they used a lot of CBT worksheets from the getselfhelp.co.uk website. It may be worth a look on there. There is also lots if information and book recommendations on the main OCD UK website. I'm sorry I can't offer further help, and hope you get some support soon.

Hi, I'm sorry to hear you're having a tough time. You don't mention whether you have or are having any therapy? I don't think medication alone is sufficient, but medication along with good quality CBT should help. I think most areas of the UK offer a self referral service, used to be IAPT but I'm not sure what they call it now. Unfortunately there are usually long waiting lists, and quality of therapy seems to vary wildly. Private treatment can be expensive, but with a good therapist you're likely to feel you're making some progress more quickly. Sorry if you know all this already. I know it's not easy but try not to overthink and give in to the thoughts, the more you 'feel the fear and do it anyway' the quicker those fears will diminish, and you can take back control of your life.

Hi, Rumination is a hard one to stop as we're often well into it before we realise we're actually doing it. Like you I've found TV or reading a book is often not sufficient at keeping my mind occupied. I've found exercise and/or getting outside helps, going for a walk, and trying to be mindful of it, taking pleasure in nature, fresh air, night skies...whatever. If that's not possible, is there anything you could do alongside the TV? A jigsaw, crafting puzzles books? I like to crochet, and find doing that whilst watching TV adds another layer of concentration so its easier not to fall into the rumination trap. A phone call with a friend or family is also useful in breaking the cycle, enabling me to refocus on the here and now. These are all things that have helped me.

Almost everyone has intrusive thoughts, with OCD it's not the thoughts that are the problem, it's the meaning we attach to them that then creates the anxiety. Perhaps the lack of anxiety is a sign you're on the right path in being able to dismiss the thoughts as nonsense. Not sure if I've explained that too well, sorry, but hope that helps.

Focus on the first part of your sentence, and give yourself a pat on the back rather than beating yourself up. You've been giving in to the compulsions for a long time, it's become a habit, and just like any other habit, we can't always explain why we do something the way we do, we just do. Change is not going to happen overnight, but today shows you can make progress, keep at it, you're doing great.

Hi, I'm sorry if you are upset. I'm not great with words and can perhaps come across as blunt sometimes, but I don't mean to be. I'm sure that's the case with some of the replies you've had. Ultimately to beat OCD we do need to stop the compulsions, I'm not saying that is easy, and I don't think anyone else is, but it is the case. Personally, I sometimes need reminding of this as I get so bogged down in the emotion that I often don't even recognise my compulsions. When we're in the middle of an episode it's hard to see the wood for the trees. Also, I think it's hard to express tone and emotion in a message and I am frequently guilty of reading more into a reply than I should. Often in text messages from friends and family, I think someone may be a 'bit off' with me and worry I've done something to upset them. I haven't, it's just me overthinking a classic OCD trait. Hope you're feeling a bit better.

All sounds like OCD to me. I believe people have already mentioned scrupulosity to you.

You have two choices: 1. Confess to your wife about your 'terrible' (in your head) behavior. You feel better for all of 5 minutes that you've 'come clean', your wife is upset and angry, and guess what? RESULT: You feel even more guilty. You're no better off and your wife now feels rubbish too. 2. Continue to work on stopping the rumination*, again, and again, and again! It doesn't have to be automatic. You did something you now regret, shrug it off, get busy with something else. It's not easy, but it is possible. You know it, you've managed it before RESULT: The more times you can successfully shrug off the thoughts, the sooner you'll be out the other side. *There's a recent post on the topic of rumination...have a look at that for tips on quitting.