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About Gemma7

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  1. All thoughts are unimportant. They are a sign of nothing, how we react to them is the OCD part. In other words lots of people will have thoughts like this when their pet is unwell, but the difference here is you think it's a sign of something, it isn't. The thoughts you had last time about your cat can be explained by you having OCD last time. I'm sure you love your pets dearly and like last time, thoughts about harm coming to them will be very important for you to be aware of. Dismiss these thoughts as thoughts because you care so much and driven by the worry problem that is OCD
  2. Gemma7

    Welcome Sue

    Sue! Good luck with your projects and the bike ride!
  3. All good advice so far I really see how this is difficult for you because you have to start planning in order to begin dealing with it. But i wonder if there are ways you could start tackling your problem without planning. For instance, you could mentally expose yourself to thoughts you know you will get now. Start getting used to dismissing them. You could also go into wedding dress shops and browse the dresses being ready for the doubts and deal with them better. Maybe get prices for venues or food etc. All this can be done without actually planning and as part of therapy. On a practical point, you could try to plan for less time, and take a cynical wedding person with you when you go places who can help bat off the 'perfect' ideas of the day. I'll offer a cynical helping hand on the forum I hope you manage to tackle this problem, you both deserve to be happy
  4. Gemma7

    Before I see a Dr

    Hi there maybemaybe What you describe does sound like OCD. Asking your partner if he hates you sounds like a checking compulsion, the counting on a plane sounds like a compulsion based on magical thinking, which is where you worry thinking something makes it more likely to happen, it's like a superstition. Also, an inflated sense of responsibility is also very common in OCD. Have you had CBT for either GAD or depression? Cognitive Behavioural Therapy is the go to therapy for these and OCD, so a therapist can help deal with all these issues, particularly if they seem to come together. I really recommend Break free from OCD an excellent self-book which takes you through CBT and will help you establish whether you think your problem is OCD
  5. Gemma7

    Issues that sit alongside OCD

    Franklin, no one wants to feel guilt and shame and it's completely normal to not want to feel those things I think this is your problem... What if the things you do every day don't prevent having sometimes very intense bad feelings, what if they only contribute negatively to you? What if sometimes feeling bad is inevitable. That's what you find out with therapy. Also finding better ways to handle these feelings is important, why are they so bad? Do you think in certain ways, like expecting more from yourself than others, that contributes to these feelings being worse for you. What or who do you have in your life that can help you feel more resilient when you get these feelings. This too
  6. Gemma7

    Issues that sit alongside OCD

    Yes uncertainty is something you have to accept, that is you have to stop doing compulsions without knowing for sure that things will be OK, but the goal is to find out if your compulsions are your problem. How therapy for OCD and self-esteem go together is that in both instances you find that safety behaviours are what undermine how you feel about yourself. So for example, say you don't say your own opinion even though you disagree with someone, this might undermine your self-esteem because indirectly it says your opinion is worth less or that it's wrong, for OCD it might mean that you can't be right because you're a bad person who can't judge situations correctly. This safety behaviour buys into OCD and lowers self-esteem. For OCD, saying your opinion is a risk because people may say you're wrong, that thinking that says something about who you are, making it feel like your being a bad person fear is right, with self-esteem your opinion may get laughed at lowering it further. Therapy for both says that you shouldn't do the safety behaviours because firstly you are just worried you're a bad person and you only believe your judgement to be wrong because of all the compulsions you do and secondly for self-esteem because not saying your opinion says you are less worthy than others and you deserve to be heard equally to everyone else. This is why they can be worked together, because it's about showing yourself that how you treat yourself and what you do is the problem, NOT who you are.
  7. Gemma7

    Issues that sit alongside OCD

    But exposure doesn't involve embracing the possibility of being a bad person. That's still buying in to black and white thinking which is why therapy wouldn't encourage that. Therapy is about finding out that all the compulsions you do are the reason you feel like a bad person. They are the cause of all your problems. Not doing the compulsions is what both you and Franklin need to do, set up in therapy as a behavioural experiment. I understand that, I just think it's important to recognise because this could be where a lot of people are going wrong
  8. Gemma7

    Issues that sit alongside OCD

    But this isn't what therapy does. It's about seeing if your problem is worrying you're a bad person rather than being a bad person. It's about not doing compulsions in a situation you normally would and finding out if you feel better or worse, it is not about exposing yourself to the idea you are a bad person.
  9. Gemma7

    Issues that sit alongside OCD

    This is strange that both you and Franklin feel this way. Maybe there's been some confusion about what you're meant to do to tackle OCD, because exposure should not be at odds with boosting self-esteem at all.
  10. Gemma7

    Issues that sit alongside OCD

    Thanks GBG, you too
  11. Gemma7

    Issues that sit alongside OCD

    Is this reassurance seeking I'm not sure but I'll answer, it seems more like OCD to me. You seem worried that you're a bad person (theory B).
  12. Gemma7

    Issues that sit alongside OCD

    It is difficult, but start with whatever is causing you the most problems, don't worry about tackling everything at once. For instance, if there's a current obsession compulsion cycle then focus on breaking that. After that you can focus on general behaviours that keep OCD coming back. I'm ok thanks, apart from OCD obviously
  13. Gemma7

    Issues that sit alongside OCD

    You can talk about what you want but people usually don't have fun and casual debates about stuff they are highly anxious about. You need to make up your own mind about good and bad and hold to that. You rely too much on your partners opinion without having your own, this makes you question and doubt yourself. If you went in to the debate believing that good and bad are on a subjective sliding scale then would this have upset you as much? This for me is the problem with just thinking 'I'm a bad person', it isn't targeting your compulsions, instead it's answering a question that can't be answered. If sometimes thinking 'I'm bad' is like a compulsion because of certainty then to me you need to leave the questions be. You say you try to figure stuff out, with rumination? Do you check memories or look on the internet? What do you avoid? These are the things to work on that you know keep you stuck.
  14. Gemma7

    Issues that sit alongside OCD

    You could argue anything you want, doesn't mean you should! What compulsions anyone does matters, it is those behaviours that keep OCD going. Think something if it causes you anxiety, but ERP is about response prevention, so it's important you know what compulsions you are not doing after you have thought something on purpose. Thinking something only deals with thinking based compulsions too, most people have lots of avoidance behaviours that increase the likelihood of rumination. If you don't tackle those then you'll always be fighting rumination.
  15. Gemma7

    Issues that sit alongside OCD

    You need to stop thinking and talking about what is a good and bad person. This discussion isn't helpful because you are applying black and white labels to an incredibly subjective grey area issue. If you went in with the correct perspective that most people are neither all good nor all bad then why have the discussion, it would be over before it begun. ERP is about not doing the compulsions you usually do. If you never let yourself think 'I'm a bad person' then thinking it could be part of a behavioural experiment, but if you can think that freely already then don't bother and work on ERP for actual compulsions you do.