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About Gemma7

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  1. Hi w0rried It can be really hard to know what is right to say to someone with OCD because reassurance seeking can be hard to spot. In truth it's always on the sufferer to not ask for reassurance rather than the loved one to spot it, so don't put too much pressure on yourself. The best way to know what to say is to learn together about what OCD is, what maintains it and how to overcome it. That way you can work together to set up a dialogue when your boyfriend gets particularly anxious. The things your boyfriend worries about are very common in the OCD community, and although it is difficult to talk to a therapist, if the therapist has helped OCD sufferers previously, then they will have heard it all before. Perhaps if your boyfriend knew that he wasn't alone and that many people were pushing to overcome their OCD and succeeding then he'd be more inclined to stick with therapy. You could introduce him to the forum or even go to the OCD-UK conference on Saturday in Northampton. It's short notice but there will be lots of information and hope there. If not self-help books can be a great safe place to start tackling OCD together. The book Break free from OCD is a good starting point Hopefully some of this helps. If you have more questions, don't hesitate to ask
  2. It's completely natural for her to be worried about facing OCD, it can be really scary to imagine not doing the behaviours you think keep everyone safe. But be reassured that with the support of a therapist your daughter will feel secure enough to challenge her problems at a rate that is comfortable. She won't be pressurised into going beyond what she feels comfortable with at all With regards to the self-harm, although it can happen, I have hit myself before, it's not the best. I imagine she was feeling emotions that felt very overwhelming to her. Talk to her about what might be a healthier way to deal with the emotions, because in the end it is OCD that should suffer not your daughter. Perhaps she could call OCD names out loud or punch a cushion. If you become more concerned, you could always talk it through with her gp and see what they say. I'm glad the book has been informative, just keep working at it gradually for now and hopefully the referral to CAMHS won't be too far away x
  3. Hi Vicky Yes unfortunately symptoms can increase quite quickly when you are doing lots of compulsions. OCD always wants you to be more sure, more careful with every compulsion, because with each compulsion sufferers buy into the belief that they are keeping them or someone else safe somehow. This makes messing up a compulsion (i.e. not doing it perfectly) feel very critical indeed. It also increases feelings of anxiety and doubt, increasing the need for further compulsions. It's really easy to get in to conflict over OCD. When I was younger I would put off going to bed because of how tiring and stressful the rituals were. This obviously made me more tired and less able to do the rituals the way I wanted, making it worse. It is possible that your daughter is adopting this strategy and therefore taking her phone away could be particularly upsetting. To ease conflict it would be best to build a strategy for combating OCD together. Is your daughter aware that other people her age have similar issues? Is she aware that CBT can help her ignore the OCD bully? Perhaps opening a dialogue about these things can get you working from the same page
  4. Hi JF1 You sound like a lovely caring friend, he's very lucky to have you. Here is a page on the OCD-UK website about the specialist services available on the NHS in England and Scotland. https://www.ocduk.org/overcoming-ocd/accessing-ocd-treatment/accessing-ocd-treatment-through-the-nhs/specialist-ocd-treatment-services/ I really hope your friend manages to get the help he needs very soon x
  5. Hi JF1 I'm sorry to hear about your friend, it sounds like he's really struggling at the moment. Sometimes when someone has PTSD and OCD they need to deal with the trauma first or at least at the same time as helping their OCD because they can often affect each other. Is he getting help for his PTSD? If he's not getting anywhere with therapy could he look into changing therapist or looking into being referred to one of the specialist centres for OCD? Sometimes we just need a more specialised approach. You said he doesn't know why he self-harms and doesn't get any relief. Has he tried not harming himself and observing what he's thinking and feeling. I understand that this could be upsetting, but maybe if he understood the reasons behind it, then he would have a better idea of what approach to take to overcome it. Also, has he talked to his therapist about it, have they given him any advice?
  6. I think what you're feeling is what lots of parents feel, particularly at this moment when things aren't so good. But your daughter absolutely can get better, she is not alone and neither are you. OCD is such an awful condition, but you can make steps towards recovery on your own, well before therapy starts. Hopefully she finds the booklet helpful and if either of you have questions about therapy then come back to the forums and we can try and help
  7. You need to accept lashing out wasn't the best idea, but you need to move on from it. Try to reconcile things with your partner if that's what you want, I'm sure you can both work through this together x
  8. Hi Vicky I'm so sorry to hear about your daughter. My OCD started at about the age of 14 and involved rituals before bed, so I understand how hard that is. It's great that she is open with you about her worries and that you've reached out for help. You say she's been referred for counselling, but usually you would be looking for a psychologist who specialises in cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT). It may be that you've been referred for that and the term counsellor is being used loosely, might be worth checking. There is information on accessing therapy in Scotland here, https://www.ocduk.org/overcoming-ocd/accessing-ocd-treatment/accessing-ocd-treatment-through-the-nhs/scotland/ In the mean time there are things you can do. OCD-UK have young ambassadors who have helped create a guide to OCD booklet that you can request for free from the charity here, http://www.ocduk.org/teens/ There is also the OCD-UK conference that's happening on the 16th November in Northampton which has 7 presentations for parents of children and there are talks by world leading specialists. You can get reduced ticket prices too if you're on a low income. Information about that is here, https://www.ocduk.org/conference/ If you can't attend, the charity is hoping to make the presentations available online in early 2020. There are also some brilliant self-help books out there for parents and children to work through together like Breaking Free from OCD: A CBT Guide for Young People & Families and Pulling the Trigger: Anxiety, Worry, OCD & Panic Attacks – Family Edition. Hope some of this helps
  9. Hi JF1, It's hard to give advice without knowing the situation further. Who is it you're trying to support? Have they been diagnosed with OCD? Are they getting any help for their problem?
  10. That's great news that CBT starts today Even though I know it's hard, try not to worry about what the therapist will say or do. A lot of sufferers have similar fears and most come away feeling very relieved. Remember therapists have heard it all before. Just take your time with going through things that are hard to talk about, perhaps even tell the therapist when you approach things that trigger you, because it's all helpful information. Good luck
  11. Cora sometimes there aren't people available to respond, it doesn't mean anything It sounds like you want it to be OCD and that is enough to start acting like it's OCD and to start going to therapy as if your problem is OCD.
  12. The self-help book is called Break Free from OCD: Overcoming Obsessive Compulsive Disorder with CBT by Dr Fiona Challacombe, Dr Victoria Bream Oldfield and Professor Paul Salkovskis. It is on Amazon
  13. Found a link about it https://www.ocduk.org/conference/
  14. Hi Space Cadet I haven't read the book but I hope it helps your son I forgot to say before, there is also the OCD-UK conference in Northampton in November. Obviously it depends on where you are and what you can afford but there are talks by experts and sufferers. And I thought there was a section for parents although could be wrong. I will ask Ashley
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