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OCD-UK Member
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About Symps07

Previous Fields

  • OCD Status
    Living with OCD
  • Type of OCD
    Rumination, Checking, Reassurance.

Profile Information

  • Gender
  • Location
    United Kingdom
  • Interests
    Music, Gym, Reading, Walking.

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  1. Thought crime isn't a real crime (yet, anyway) so what is to forgive? Our thoughts and opinions change all the time so to spend time regretting or analysing our past thoughts would be very time consuming and counter productive. If you regret something, then you have already moved on in a sense anyway. I would say though that these thoughts probably mean nothing anyway and your response to them is what's causing you problems. Leave them be and try to move on with your life πŸ™‚
  2. Good morning πŸ™‚ The short answer is, you don't. It's not the thoughts that are the problem it is our reaction to them and the meaning we give to them. The more you react to your intrusive thoughts by trying to stop them, analysing them, shutting them out, etc.. the more they come and the more anxiety they'll produce. When a thought comes, you need to learn that it can do you no harm and to leave it be. Eventually, they lose power and the anxiety decreases as you teach your brain that it has no meaning. (Your brain is basically sending you a thought and gauging your reaction to it as to ascertain the threat level, so the more you react to the thought must mean the bigger the problem to your brain). It's not easy to just leave the thoughts be and sit with the anxiety and nagging feeling that this thought needs attention now! It takes practice (and plenty of failing) but it can be done πŸ™‚ I hope that this makes sense and I am glad that you're reaching out for help, it does make a big difference! I wish you the best of luck πŸ™‚ Symps
  3. I just got triggered parking in my drive, seeing my neighbour knelt down removing weeds in a dress. I keep getting thoughts like, is she wearing knickers? Does she want me to look? Is she more attractive than my wife? Should I be with her instead of my wife? And so on. But I am resiting the urge to engage with these thoughts as I've been here what feels like a million times before and it'll only make me worse if I do engage with them.
  4. Hi Punkdonkey, love the name ☺️ It sounds as though you may be ruminating about the situation in the Ukraine? I have done similar and I am guessing others have also but unless you are able to do something, then it's only going to feed your obsession. Try not to engage with the thoughts when watching the news and resist the urge to engage with them afterwards. It's a sad situation but unfortunately, there's not much we can do. Symps
  5. Hi James, as others have said on this post, it's not the thoughts that are the problem but rather the way we react to them. By trying to block them or by performing other compulsions we validate the thoughts as to having meaning to our brain so that our brains see them as a threat and so urge us to engage with the thoughts so as to resolve the threat. By not reacting to the thoughts or obsessions, we eventually re-programme our brains to accept that there is no threat and therefore to not react as if there is (IE with anxiety and a need to find a solution). Hope this helps πŸ™‚
  6. Unfortunately any relief that comes with 'confessing' will only be temporary before it all comes back with force. Like with the rumination, it just confirms to your OCD that something is wrong so the next time you have an intrusive thought, your anxiety will be raised as your brain thinks it is warning you of a threat. I'm sorry that you're in hospital but are they now going to fast track you into seeing a therapist?
  7. But what's wrong with that? So you think you're the only person who does this? These thoughts are not the problem, the problem is your reaction to them. IE, beating yourself up over and over again about having these thoughts.
  8. Apologies for the delay in my response, I was on holiday last week, so not had the chance to reply. I still get thoughts but I try not to engage with them. As my therapist told me, you can't control getting the thoughts but you can control your reaction to them. I found using the theory A, theory B method helpful. So if I thought about another woman, I would say, theory A - I fancy this woman, therefore I can't find my partner attractive or love my partner. Theory B - I find this woman attractive, which is natural but I love my partner and my OCD is just jumping on any doubts to make me feel bad. As most of the time with OCD you know how you feel but just have doubts, then I tend to recognise it is theory B, so then I have to be strong and resist the urge to engage with the doubts. Try to focus on something productive. As time goes on, I've come to notice that my fears are triggered by thoughts and it's like, "ah, I can see that I need to stop engaging with this train of thought" and it does become easier. I hope this makes sense? πŸ™‚
  9. I've had guilt over fantasies, in fact I think we've discussed this before πŸ™„ How is your work going on stopping rumination? As this still appears to be the main fuel of your obsession?
  10. Scared or ashamed. I'm not sure which is more prominent. I think most of the time I feel ashamed for either what the thoughts are, might mean or having the whole process of OCD. Just wasting so much life on expending time on the thoughts and compulsions. So I'll go for Ashamed.
  11. Hi Cora, I would say that, the only meaning these thoughts have are the meaning you give to them and by spending time worrying about these thoughts you're confirming to yourself that there's something to be concerned by. You cannot control the thoughts but you can control your reaction to them. Try to concentrate on that and leave them alone. I tend to think of it like a puppy. The more attention you give it, the more it wants but if you ignore it, it'll eventually give up (although it'll hound you a bit before it does) ?
  12. I used to be really bad with motivation, so I just focused on doing a couple of small quick tasks and build on that. I don't try and do things 'perfectly', just concentrate on getting the job done and reminding myself that this is an achievement in its self.
  13. But that's how it looks right now. It's not how it will always look. How well do you ever really know anyone? And can you base who you are on the thoughts you have if they never appear in your actions? Right now, it's Hell but you can only change that by the way you react to the thoughts. The more attention you give them, the more they will haunt you. Try to stay strong and maybe get out in the fresh air for a bit.
  14. Hi mate, I'm so sorry that this has happened to you. I've done exactly the same as the above and got to the point where I tried to take my own life last year but I'm glad I didn't. I can only echo what everyone else here has said about seeking help and I certainly believe you need a therapist you trust as soon as possible. Is there someone you can stay with?
  15. I've had the same and probably lots of other people too. Is there someone you can stay with?
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