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Symps07

OCD-UK Member
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About Symps07

Previous Fields

  • OCD Status
    Sufferer
  • Type of OCD
    Rumination & Intrusive thoughts are the main 2. But also a variety of others

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Male
  • Location
    United Kingdom
  • Interests
    Music, Socialising, Exercising (when motivated!), Cinema

Recent Profile Visitors

3,006 profile views
  1. Hi Rover, I have noticed this also. I used to do boxing training and I play badminton, and a quite often after training I would feel low or anxious, but I'm not sure why? I never got it after running on my own, so maybe it was because I was surrounded by people and I was anxious there or perhaps it was because I was anxious all along and the exercise was burning off the anxiety and once I stopped all that was left was the anxiety? Symps
  2. Yeah. I am just taking things slowly, trying to get all the nonsense out of my head 🙂
  3. Hi GBG, Thank you for such a lovely message x It really means a lot. I think you're right. I do need to stop putting so much pressure on myself and learn to slow down a little bit and focus on my issues. I hope that you're doing okay? Thank you again for you response 🙂 Kind regards, Mark
  4. Good morning, I have not been on here for a while, so hello to everyone, I wish it was under better circumstances. I have been struggling with my thoughts and OCD for longer than I care to remember and even though I have worked on the 'bigger' themes, I still have a massive issue with my OCD. I ruminate constantly. Anything can start me off and once it's begun it just keeps on going. I'm becoming bitter and resentful and my life is just passing by day after day with out me really feeling as though I have done anything significant. I have constant low mood as even when I'm feeling good, I know it will not last and I'll be back where I was previously. I work in an office and the work is fast paced and so I am constantly feeling pressure, stress, anxiety and thinking a lot anyway and my OCD preys on any trigger, insecurity, or anxiety. For instance, my phone rang yesterday and we have a screen where you can see the callers name and I thought I knew what the call was going to be about and walked out of the room. I knew I should have answered it and that avoiding the call is making things worse but I just couldn't do it. The dread I felt was horrible. I know this wasn't OCD but more my General Anxiety but then it triggers my rumination and that leads to some themes of my OCD, so then it does become OCD also. From one phone call I can think how I am going to be blamed for something that I didn't do, how I am a failure, how I am going to Hell, how I deserve to feel bad and suffer, to how I am letting my fiancée down because I will never be able to get a better job and support her and children if we have any, if we have children, how will I cope? It's endless and goes round and round and I am losing pleasure in day to day life. I want to do more in my life but then I also feel anxious about leaving for a new job in case that's even worse or I am out of my depth? I feel anxious and embarrassed in social situations, so avoid them if possible or often just feel isolated or out of my depth. I know what I am supposed to do in regards to working my OCD, GAD, low mood, etc... but I just sometimes feel like everything is going to fast for me to apply it. I know that I don't always help myself, but it feels like everything is causing me some distress. I need to break everything up into pieces and see what is what, but sometimes it is so difficult to discern where my GAD ends, my OCD begins. Is my low mood/depression just part of my anxiety. Which parts are OCD, which are anxiety? It's so very difficult. I should be at work now but my fiancée told me I need to speak to someone or reach out on here. I want to get better and start living my life instead of just existing. I have a wonderful fiancée who I love more than anything, but I can't keep on like this as it is unfair to both of us. The thing is, I've noticed the problems building up, even caught a few of them but I feel as though I am worrying about too many different things and then I daydream to try and stop myself feeling bad (or in the moment) so I'm always detached from reality and then I'm just ruminating more anyway and before I know it, it hits like a giant wave and leaves me (and my fiancée) feeling devastated. I want to get better, but I am wary of sliding back into old habits and I am at a loss as to what to do? Symps Ps. I guess the other thing that I should is, that I feel like I have to agree with other people or not tell them things they do that I do not like or upset me as I don't want to upset or hurt them. Not sure why this is important but I think that it has prevented me helping myself in the past because I have put up a wall because of it.
  5. Good morning everyone, and thank you for you response's. I did try to respond yesterday, but for some reason I couldn't leave my response. After some thinking, I may just go with the CBT and 'self manage' my OCD. I have a couple of books about managing mental health and I think, for now, I can progress this way. I'll just take it a step at a time. Hi GBG, I saw from another post that you have been having a real rough time of late and I just wanted to wish you all the best and send you hugs 🐥, I hope things get better soon 😊
  6. Hello, I have been wondering just recently if I need to see my GP about taking SSRIs. My OCD and general mental health has been pretty bad recently. I am recognizing issues that I need to 'fix', but I keep having little moments where I lash out or 'blow up', and I am constantly plagued with doubt and my mind doesn't feel solid enough to get any cohesion in keeping the thoughts at bay. Would taking SSRIs help at all? I have taken Citalopram in the past and this helped me when I was first diagnosed with OCD, but my GP decided it was time for me to come off them as he said they were a short term drug. Although it still irks me that he never asked me how I was feeling and I feel that his decision was more about saving the NHS money that with how I was actually feeling. I guess I should have an answer already as to whether I should see if I am able to go back on SSRIs again, but Citalopram did leave me feeling a bit 'Woosey' at times and tbh, I get the feeling that if I went to my GP and asked to try which SSRI suited me, I would be told that I couldn't have them. I'm not sure what the rules are on being given access to drugs for mental health? I probably should also point out that I wouldn't want to be doing SSRI's just for the sake of taking them to 'still' my mind, but I also would like to see a CBT therapist again (even a private one) as I think I have more of an understanding of how my mind is now and that I am in a better place of hopefully putting some balance back into my mind but I do think that the SSRI's might help give me a more concrete platform to build on. I was just wondering what other people think and if anybody has an experiences that may have any bearing on this topic? Symps
  7. Hi Ollie, Exercise helps me a lot and diet. I'm no gym rat and certainly not in shape, but I try to do some exercise everyday, even if it is just a walk on my dinner break and I have been eating more healthily since the new year. Nothing OTT, just more veg and using portion control to not over do it, and I have to say that it has helped lift my mood a lot more. I've also started to read more than just watch TV and I find this helps me take my mind of things somewhat. I do think that feeling better physically does help me feel better mentally. But I did also start seeing a councellor last year and this has also helped me. As my councellor say's to me, the counselling is mainly about taking ownership of your feelings and it's helped me to work out what things I want out of life and what things I have no control over and what things I should just leave alone and move on from. It's not been OCD based, but it's helped me clear my mind of some of the other 'junk' that I have been holding onto and left me better able to deal with my OCD as a separate entity. One thing that it has taught me, is that if I am feeling say anxious or depressed, I need to stop and ask myself why I am feeling that way? and it makes me concentrate and think about what it is that is distressing me and think about how I can stop it and whether like I mention above, it is either in my control or not. For example, if I am feeling anxious about a situation and I stop and think about it and realise that it is my OCD, then I know I accept that it is my OCD and I need to use what I've learnt from CBT therapy to deal with it. Symps
  8. Hi Mermaid66, Would he be willing to see a doctor or a mental health or behaviour specialist or get one to visit him? If his spending is leading to financial problems then I'm sure someone would be obliged to see him. Failing that, perhaps you could make an appointment with his doctor or a mental health or behaviour specialist and explain the situation to them? Kind regards, Symps
  9. Hi Irregular86, It's sounds as though you have already been stressed leading up to this event and it is probably this that has lead to this latest episode. From reading your post above, it sounds as though you initial dismissed the initial intrusive thought only for it to come back with a vengeance a few days later. Perhaps the added stress of worrying about what your husband and your mother in law would think maybe added further stress to the situation? As stress is an ideal breeding ground for OCD, it's probably expected that you have had an intrusive thought at some point, unfortunately, you've acted on it. But I wouldn't see it as a failure, as I think you can learn from it. Looking at the situation, what would you do differently? When you read back your post above, what do you think happened? What do you think served as a trigger and what parts consist of compulsion performing? How can you prevent yourself from entering or fulfilling the OCD cycle? Is there anyone from the therapy session you mention who you can speak to in regards to this at all? Please try not to worry about this too much (I know how OCD makes mountains out of molehills) and believe me, you are no failure. Blips, slips and relapses do happen but as I say above, I believe you can learn from this and get back to where you want to be Best regards, Symps
  10. Hi Morix, You know that no one saw you, so why stress about it? This is what you OCD wants as it fuels your anxiety. Don't think about it, it's just a thought and the only meaning it has it what you give it by thinking about it! It's easier said than done, but keep trying you can do it! Symps
  11. Hi Battlethrough, I'm not sure what it is that you feel the need to confess, but it appears to me that you know that you already know that this is a compulsion. Have you tried exposure therapy? It sounds to me that you are close to breaking point, why not face the anxiety and give your OCD a kicking in the process? I know this is tough and that life can be seem pretty empty when living with OCD, but you can overcome this and things can get better! Symps
  12. I range from seeing no sense in anything to being perfectly happy just finding my way through the fog. I think just getting better is as much sense as I need right now and the rest just falls into place. Maybe it's not worth trying to find sense in life right now, just take it one day at a time and work on the things you want to achieve and the issues you want to deal with. I believe that the rest will sort itself out in the end.
  13. Hi Neil, I always find resisting performing compulsions (in my case ruminating) is useful but like you say, sometimes you can do it easier (or with less difficulty) than at other times. Have you tried exposure therapy at all? From my own personal experience I have found this to be the most effective way to overcome an OCD theme as I find that by just resisting an urge to perform a compulsion on its own, it can become quite tiring as the thoughts keep coming into my head and sometimes I will ruminate on them intensely whether for a few minutes or maybe a day or so. But with exposure therapy it feels as though I am able to 'attack' the OCD and loosen the thoughts/fears hold over me. It's certainly worth looking into. In the meantime, keep trying to resist the urge to resist performing compulsions and remember to challenge and reward yourself in equal measures. If you are feeling fatigued, resist the urge to perform a compulsion but also treat yourself to some down time or something that will help to de stress you or take your mind off things and if you do give in to temptation and perform a compulsion, except it for what it is, a blip and move on from it. The last thing you need is to put extra pressure on yourself and tire yourself out even more. All the best, Symps
  14. Hi Malina, I had thoughts POCD for 11 years before I saw a CBT therapist and got help and finally overcame this obsession. 3 years later I started to get thoughts regarding religion and going to hell and it really affected me. I didn't even realise it was OCD until I actually found this website and read about rumination. I think it's sometimes hard to deal with the 'scope' of OCD. The different compulsions and ways that it can effect you and just remember that it is the same issue just coming from a different angle. I still get POCD thoughts now and again, but because I don't engage with them and just let the thoughts go. They don't have the same impact they once had and disappear almost as quickly as they appear. I wouldn't worry to much about being 'stuck like this', this is the kind of anxiety that fuels OCD. I believe that by doing your CBT and taking everyday one day at a time, you will soon see a reduction in these thoughts you are having and will be on your way to overcoming your OCD! Best of luck! Symps
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