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About taurean

  • Birthday 27/04/1950

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  • OCD Status
  • Type of OCD

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    Northampton, England
  • Interests
    Olympics (especially London 2012),Athletics,Swimming,Photography, Astronomy, Archaeology, Antiques Programmes on TV,Art. Choral and Classical Music, Jazz, Fishing, Aerobic Exercise, Gardening, National Trust, Wildlife

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  1. We should be too strong for Wales. We have a strong squad. I might play Callum Wilson and rest Kane. I could go for a back 3,play Coady, present Wales with a flowing five man midfield. Then bring on Foden and Rashford. If Wales beat us I would be surprised, but we wouldn't have been good enough as a team.
  2. It's good to read your experience. This is exactly what Dave needs to do. Stop carrying out experiments (it's a compulsion) just let it all be without emotion, and gradually those groinals will ease away. Why? Whatever it is in a brain's transmission system that forms the false messages, OCD loves an audience, needs a response. And when it doesn't get one, it loses interest.
  3. For me personally these themes of OCD are all about us NOT being what OCD is telling us. And the way forward is always going to be that acceptance. Does the person with paedophile OCD fsncy children? Of course they don't. Does the person experiencing inappropriate thoughts about touching their children want to have them? Do I want to experience violence theme intrusions? No of course not. This is what the disorder does.Flips our true values, sexual or otherwise. I don't think Dave has ever accepted that. Its down the compulsion route. And what do compulsions do? Strengthen the obsessive thinking. If we could, magically, eradicate all the compulsions of our forum members what would we see? A whole load of people gradually getting better. Dave, stop worrying about what you are experiencing. Accept you are getting false readings from the communications within your brain. It's not nice but if you accept it and get on with your life you are sending a big message o OCD that you won't go along with the falsehoods. And I am willing to bet that once this becomes the normal, those false readings will ease down
  4. The difficulty we have here is that the thread is becoming another compulsion. In all the time that you have had this theme, how much time has there been when you have taken on board the advice given, stopped carrying out compulsions and tests, stopped believing that the unwanted arousal and apparent attractions are real and you are gay? Fact is, in the same way that OCD gives us unwanted thoughts and images, because it lies within the communication systems in the brain, it can produce arousal signs and signals of a gay person within a non-gay one. What I do think is happening now is it's become stronger, more upsetting in the way it manifests. And that's all it is.
  5. ISA a brilliant performance. England couldn't break them down.
  6. Everything you say suggests that your core feelings, of being heterosexual, remain unchanged. It's clear that you find revulsion to what OCD is saying. What seems to have changed is the way the OCD is working, maximising response to men, minimising response to women. It's kind of applying a filter, turning off the attraction to women. Testing this out doesn't seem like a great idea to me. It shows you are believing what the OCD is saying, and following it up with compulsions that don't achieve anything more than making you very unhappy. I would suggest you switch your focus away from what the OCD is saying, and deliberately build up thinking about women what you desire and take perhaps a more detached view than others do - think about how and why women are attractive to men in general, from a detached position. Run through these things as if it is simply an observation project you are doing for somebody else. Perhaps the more you minimise any thinking about men, and maximise your thinking about women, overcoming this imposed filter will mean that the OCD thoughts and urges will die down. OCD likes to dominate our thoughts snd feelings, and loses power when it doesn't.
  7. A new one is just a different version of the same old OCD, with its falsehoods exaggerations or revulslons (whichever applies to your themes). I find it helps to expect there to be a new intrusion at some point, and remind myself of the best ways to address it. I am assuming that you wil have done a lot of exposure plus response prevention work, so will know that this intrusion is OCD. So, label it as an OCD intrusion, and therefore it is actually not anything you need to consider a threat, or fear, becuase you know it is OCD. Just think, oh hello here's ust abother of those OCD intrusions. I was expecting you but I know you are just OCD. Now, we are coming to the important bits. Your mental focus will likely to try and grip onto the intrusion and hold it in focus. And your brain's communication system may try and freeze, the "Brainlock" that is talked about. It's all about how you respond. Our normal devfault response to a trigger will be very fast - our mental sentry will quickly consider the matter, compare it with previous experience and then decide whther to raise the alarm and initiate an anxiety response (taking the intrusion literally). But, we can gradually learn to retrain the sentry. We can tell our sentry that we have new information as a result of our threrapy, and intrusions that are of this type on this theme are actually not real threats at all - they are OCD and just mental junk. So as this becomes a learned behaviour, we experience an intrusion, label it OCD, our sentry records it as OCD and stands down. The anxiett response is not set off, and we then practice the other thing we will have been working on, refocus. Refocus can simply take the form of moving on. If we aren't treating the intrusion as a threat we can tell ourselves there is no need to focus onto it, we can simply ease away from it, and this process will release the Brainlock and allow us to move back to what we were doing, or move on to something else. Another thing I have been looking at is a separate tool to reduce the power of our response to things we we encounter that may be upsetting. I have more work to do on this but I can share the intent and you may find you want to explore this more because it's something we can apply to all kinds of potentially upsetting situations. The start is to look at the particual emotions that the likely encounter might evoke. In the case of an OCD intrusion we would be looking at a scale running down from catastrophe to terror to fear, all very powerful emotions which would produce a full on anxiety reponse. But suppose we condition ourselves into accepting a more realistic response. Unless we are being attacked or the house is literally on fire, catastrophe and terror are too strong in an initil assessment. Fear, a typical OCD response, may not be appropriate because we know that however dreadful what OCD is telling us might seem, if it's OCD it isn't real. So, we could tell ourselves that we might rather view the issue as an annoyance - we were doing quite nicely and then came along thsi intrusion.Our initial response muiht also be downscaled to apprehensive whilst we are looking through the analysis needed to label it. Gradually we may find that we are learning to build in a delay time between encountering the trigger and our response. This would be even better, it will allow a breathing space rather than our automatic alert system taking the matter at literal rather than actual factual value. If we take a little time now to review this we will find that some things happen where we do work through this in a delayed way before kicking in with a strong emotional response. An example we have come home and we can't find our front door key. So we stop, and we apply some lateral thinking. We opened the door, so it must be still in the door, or in the house. We check the door, then start to retrace our stepsd, and we find the key next to the shopping. /sow e tell our sentry there is ctually no alert and no threat. A little whil ago I went passed a speed camera. I wasn't sure what the speed limit was and there weren't other vehicles. I secided to delay my reaction to this and consider it later. I knew it wasn't a catastrophe but I didn't want to spoil my trip worrying about it. When I got ome, I looked in the internet, and I discovered that that paticular camera was covering a 50 mph zone. I was pretty sure \i wasn't above that limit so I relaxed. And I reminded myse;f that dpeed cameras on a first offence apply 3 point to a licence and a fine which would not be a serious matter. So let's sum these ideas up. If we are able to understand that the intrusion is just another expression of our OCD, and we are up to speed with our ERP, then we know there is no real threat here and we can label it OCD and look to move on before the thought sticks and an anxiety response is made. It would be understandable to be annoyed though, but that is not a major emotion. If we haven't quite reached that stage, we can still downgrade our emotional response to a lesser interpretation whilst we consider the matter and review it to see whether we can accept it as OCD and not a threat, or something else. And we can apply this thinking to other matters too if it's not obvious that there is a major alert , threat to persons or property e.g. And we can further our learning by looking to buy ourselves a timeout before our reponse, so our sentry can consider more evidence before making his decision. on whether to set up an anxiety response or just a minor matter
  8. I wasn't able to tolerate the SSRIs myself. My medics were sure they would help, but my problem was persistent diarrhoea that just wouldn't go away. I also felt somewhat zombied. I had the same response from prozac, sertraline and citalopram. If you need something mainly to help with depression and you aren't too anxious, then you could try the herbal remedy St John's Wort, which also works on Serotonin levels but in a different way to the drugs. I find it good as an antidepressant, but I don't take it late as it can affect sleep. This herb does affect how some medications work, and cannot be used with others that affect serotonin so you would need to check carefully against any other medications you may be taking. But there is no delay to it working, and for me there are no side effects. If you want to give it a go it's available from health food stores.
  9. What I would like you to do now bluegrass is give yourself a hug. Apply some love kindness to yourself, because as is the general case with OCD we are the flip side of what OCD seeks to tell us. We aren't bad. Our true characters are extant. Here is something you can do to work yourself off the obsessions and compulsions and get your life back. Like the true elements of CBT I just laid out to you, it is simple, anyone can easily do it. It's called compassion-focused therapy. There are three elements to it. The drive which pushes us to try and fix our obsessions with compulsions, which never works. There is the distressing response, which causes anxiety and upset. And there is soothe - the beneficial distractions and relaxing things you could be doing. The more soothe you can busy yourself with, and at the same time enjoy, the less time will you have for strengthening the effects of the OCD with intrusive thoughts and compulsions. And by the way, go give your wife a hug. The pressure our nearest and dearest suffer because of the effects upon them of our OCD is never enough considered. It's tough for them, and they only ever want us to try and get better. Now you know what you need to do, tell her and seek her support - but not reassurance and not forgiveness ( it's not needed as it isn't your fault, it's OCD's fault). And really determine to apply this line of thinking. Because it works. But only when people truly believe and apply it religiously, cutting out the compulsions, not believing the obsessions.
  10. Everything you say shrieks OCD. It's all nothing more than complete mental junk bluegrass. The obsessional thinking I am bad, I could have done this, my wife would be horrified etc. If you had masturbated or if you hadn't, so what, it's normal behaviour anyway, people do that and don't think bad about themselves. And you can see all the compulsions you are carrying out. Ruminating, confessing, seeking reassurance. We are not responsible for our OCD thoughts I have put that in bold to emphasise the point. We need to label them as OCD, reattribute them to OCD, accept them as just mental junk, show ourselves some compassion and drop the compulsions. Work on that and you will break the hold of the OCD.
  11. We are singularly blessed if we have animals, especially if they have a good health experience. We should love and cherish them when we have them, and continue to do so when their time with us does come to an end. Please don’t overthink this passage of life. Enjoy your friend in the now, and try and begin to steer your thinking into the now, and let concerns about the future be for the moment. It's always good to make sensible plans, but not to worry as worry resolves nothing.
  12. What may benefit individuals from a medication point of view is very subjective. For some, meds are gamechangers, for others not much benefit. I know Polarbear gained massively from SSRI plus antipsychotic. It may well be more commonplace in Canada. I don't think adding an antipsychotic has made much headway yet in the UK.
  13. A therapist skilled in OCD will not be judging you for having what, in the field of OCD, are typical themes. The heart of CBT treatment is about the patient, and the therapist, viewing the intrusions non-judgementally, then the therapist teaches tye patient how to manage the disorder.
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