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About lostinme

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    Painting,jewellery making,writing poetry,sewing and anything artistic.

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  1. I’m extremely proud of her and you’ve got all this to follow too, you will cherish every single moment throughout her life and that feeling you feel within your heart is the best feeling ever Im not going to say it’s not hard because it is very hard, in fact it’s the hardest anything as hit me throughout therapy. I won’t give up because I don’t want to under any circumstances ever go back to where I was before. I know that I’m slipping backwards at the moment but I know there will be a way to work through this, I just need to find the right way to do it and I’m sure that there will be one it’s just finding what works. Take care of yourself, best wishes, lost xx
  2. Thankyou Gemma, I totally understand what you are saying here, in other words I have to accept that it’s no longer just a doubt? I have to accept that it happened and deal with it differently? That’s probably what I’m finding so difficult and where I’m going wrong? the cognitive side so far is working on the what ifs, so instead possibly I should be be working through the cognitive side of the doing? Ive worked really hard to change my behaviours, slowly chipping away at them one by one until I no longer did the compulsions, safety seeking behaviours etc, what worries me is did I become complacent/careless? I find that worrying. So now I have to change my cognitive working to the doing part rather than the what if parts? Does that make sense x
  3. Thank you Roy, I think I have lots of work to do here, I will work out a way to mend what’s broken it will just take time and a little more effort on my part
  4. Bless you Roy To be totally honest I’m finding it really difficult at the moment it’s more like one step forward and two steps back sadly I don’t give up easily though, but everytime I try to avoid a compulsion it’s screams at me, how can you be so sure? Before now it’s always been just a doubt with no supporting evidence that I could actually act on one of my obsessions, this to me is like having supporting evidence that I could actually act on one? I know it doesn’t really support I acted on one of my obsessions that it could have been a mere accident and nothing more, but it’s increased that nagging doubt to the maximum % of how can I be sure? But hopefully I will find a way through it, in it, around it? I never give up it’s just made it that much harder to work through
  5. Oh bless, such precious memories that you will cherish forever and plenty more to come. I remember my daughters first sports day, so sweet and she absolutely loved it it’s amazing how quick time flys and she will soon be off to uni So proud of her Hope you have a good day flower xx
  6. Bless you my lovely, your a such a sweet lady I don’t give up easily but I felt absolutely devastated with this, as far as to say worse than I had felt for a long long time and I really couldn’t see no way out, but thanks to everyone here I can slowly start to rebuild myself back up again xx Hope you have a good day tomorrow x
  7. Glad it’s been a decent day for you Emsie, mine has been pretty decent too. I’m slowly trying to get back into things again, I’ve made myself two cuppas which is a good start, obviously I still get that new doubt now, but what if? But I’m trying to take on board the great advice I’ve recieved here and using the tools I’ve learnt through CBT so hopefully I will be able to get back to where I was again pretty soon xx
  8. lostinme

    Can't cope anymore.

    Oh I see now you mean from my previous thread when I revealed one of my greatest obsessions? No what I meant was that’s how I felt that the two years hard work had been wasted and I felt I was back to square one again because I believed that I had acted upon my obsession. So for a few weeks it was really bad and I avoided doing everything in fear I was capable of acting on them. Luckily after sharing this very embarrassing one that I had dreaded sharing im slowly taking all the great advice recieved on board and mulling things over( the cognitive thinking) and slowly rebuilding on the behavioural side again too. What I meant is that I can’t just get straight back into where I left off before this, because I now have to work through this one too because now I face this as another doubt. So slowly I have to work through this and regain my confidence again step by step. Started again today and I’ve made two cups of tea so slowly getting back on track again
  9. lostinme

    Can't cope anymore.

    Now I’m confused can you tell me when I said this please?
  10. Bless you, don’t worry about that, we have all done that in the early stages of CBT it’s all part of the learning process, if we didn’t make mistakes we wouldn’t learn a great deal, it’s through how mistakes that teach us how or where we could have done things differently. So keep going flower you can do this Hope you’ve had a good day xx
  11. lostinme

    Can't cope anymore.

    Thank you Headwreck I’m feeling better than I was but it’s not quite as easy to just turn things back around to where I was before this, if only it was that simple we would all be cured in no time at all. Your not an hypocrite at all you was offering help and support to another sufferer, sometimes we can give great advice to a fellow sufferer even when we can’t always put into practice the same advice ourselves. I don’t think you ignore people at all I just think you are struggling to put into practice the advice you are being given and there is a difference, it takes lots and lots of practice and every time you fall you have to pick yourself up and start again time and time again. Don’t be so hard on yourself eventually you will be suprised and something will just click into place x
  12. lostinme

    Can't cope anymore.

    Head wreck, listen to all the great advice you have been given how long are you going to torture yourself over something that you don’t even know occurred. Please be kind to yourself and let this go You can do it, one step at a time and one day at a time over and over again, it can take weeks, months but you can get there. See this with the same positivity, courage and support you have given me, we are all behind you every step of the way x
  13. Thank you Emsie your such a sweet kind lady Im trying my hardest in putting back into practice what I’ve learnt a long my journey, but as you know at times it can be hard. I’m concentrating on my mood lifting a little first, this has really dragged me down and then my pet guinea pig died which really as upset me and my daughter as gone away totally on her own for the very first time to a university hours away for a full week in accommodation on her own, it’s so so hard when she is only sixteen, so feeling a little anxious about this I will hopefully start to rebuild my behavioural work as soon as i can. Take care of yourself flower, best wishes as always xx
  14. I want to say a massive thank you to all you guys my forum friends for taking the time to answer my post and offer me so much support and advice when I needed it the most. You have all been phenomenal and helped me so much for which I am sincerely grateful because with out you guys I don’t know what I would have done. I’ve got a way to get back to where I was before but I need to learn to trust and believe in myself again. I’m so pleased I plucked up the courage to share this now because if I hadn’t I would have still been falling. Thank you so so much for helping me through this, you are all truly amazing inspirational people to whom I have the pleasure of knowing. Some words can just never say enough but thank you so much to everyone x