Lynz

Saz you're worrying over nothing. Like Binxy said there's nothing wrong with watching porn and many folks do it, even those who are in healthy relationships. Don't give this issue any more attention as it isn't necessary.

There's nothing in a baby's poo that is generally harmful to adults as their guts haven't been properly colonised yet. They also only have sterile food (either breastmilk or sterilised formula), so their poo isn't really proper poo it's just undigested milk mixed with a few other things. If there was anything that could make you ill in a baby's poo then parents would get ill all the time from it when changing nappies etc., which doesn't happen. I work with babies everyday and they literally poo all the time and it does get everywhere, but that's normal. I understand you have contamination issues but there is literally nothing contaminating in a baby's poo.

Well done GBG. I'm curious as to what CBT techniques you used. Did you work from a particular self-help book?

Sorry to hear this BelAnna. A friend of mine has a small aneurysm too and the surgical team decided to take a "watch and wait" approach with him. If they decide to do this with your mum then it is a good thing as it means it isn't too serious at present and isn't likely to be for a long while. Do keep us posted

Testing sexual thoughts is not the same as fantasising. If you're fantasising there is no testing or checking involved, you just fantasise because it is enjoyable. Testing thoughts coupled with anxiety = compulsions.

Sounds great Ashley

I second the idea of also including fiction books!

I worked on a hospital ward where there were regular norovirus or RSV outbreaks. I've caught it twice in the last 2 years. I was ill for a few days and it was quite unpleasant, but it was over soon enough and I went back to work and everything went back to normal. You need to target the irrational fear response that you have as actually catching it really is nothing to be afraid of.

I get what you're saying here, and in that case your CBT work should focus on reducing the level of fear you feel about vomiting or contracting a bug. Yes there is a chance you can catch a bug like any of us can, but most people don't worry about it all the time and if they did get a bug they would find it a bit annoying but it wouldn't be anything that they were really afraid of or upset about. You are therefore correct in that your feared event is not unlikely but it is not an event that needs to be feared, hence this is where your focus should be in terms of your CBT work.

Hi Waywardmind and welcome to the forum. I'm sorry to hear that you're struggling at the moment and that your OCD has returned and that you have other issues on top of that. I have to agree though that seems like an excessively long waiting time and it also sounds like the wrong service. What you need to is to be referred by your GP to CBT with ERP that is conducted by someone who is qualified to treat OCD. To me it sounds like you've been referred to a generic tier 1 counselling/non-specialist service which I don't think is right especially considering your previous history and diagnoses. I'm not the best person to offer any advice on therapy access. @Ashley is the best person to ask (he probably hates me tagging him in posts. Apologies if you do Ashley I just know that you're the best person to help with this kind of thing! ). Hope you get it sorted out soon.

Sorry to hear you were in an accident, but I think you're ruminating about this now and doing other compulsions which has spiralled a bit. You had a crash, yep you were injured and went to the hospital to get checked out but it was nothing serious because they let you go home. They only tell you to go to the doctors if it gets worse mainly as a precaution. If they thought you needed any further treatment then they wouldn't have discharged you. Don't do anymore compulsions around this and try your best to get on with your normal routine.

No worries you're welcome. Glad to have helped a bit! Ah well in that case yes I would try and discourage her from saying those things if they are intended as reassurance. If she still says all of that though despite you asking her not to and explaining why then perhaps work at reducing your response to what she says. I had similar trouble with this with some of my obsessions in the past, where my mum would give me reassurance without me asking for it because she obviously wanted me to feel better, but when I asked her not to as it was unhelpful and explained why she just didn't get it and kept on doing it. Eventually I learned to dismiss her reassurance as unimportant in the same way as I would dismiss an intrusive thought as unimportant and that helped me to not latch on to the reassurance she was trying to give me.

I will have a go at answering your questions, Kaheath. But I also echo GBG in that I'm obviously no expert and these are only my opinions. 1) I think if you know your behavioural response to a refusal would be that you will get upset, then I would leave instigating it yourself for now. However, if you feel able to resist getting upset and stressed at being refused then it will probably be ok from a CBT perspective to instigate it if you are genuinely in the mood and not doing it out of a compulsion. The behavioural response of getting upset and stressed at being refused sex is obviously an issue that needs working on too, but I think it's best to focus on one area for now rather than muddy the waters by focusing on multiple issues at the same time. 2 and 3) I don't think that was the wrong call at all. You are sticking to the plan of action which is to let your wife initiate it without any pressure or prompting from you. However, again there is the issue of getting stressed out over it at first which was obviously a problem, but I think this is understandable as you're trying out a whole new routine of behaviour which will take some getting used to. I think you should continue with only doing it when your wife instigates it but try not to get caught up in applying meaning to it like you have been. 3) I'm not sure of the answer to this question Kaheath as I think this is where there are some non-OCD issues that complicate matters, such as your wife getting frustrated with you and saying she wished you didn't have these problems. This is obviously not helpful at all but at the same time I do feel sympathy as our partners do have to put up with a lot with our OCD. Hopefully someone will be able to answer this question better than I can so I apologise for that! 4) I think asking your wife to modify any aspect of her behaviour to accommodate your OCD is wrong as it only reinforces the idea that there is something for you to be upset and stressed about. If she says things like that then maybe say something encouraging like "I'd like that. That would be great." Rather than explicitly promising to do it on a certain day for example. Or perhaps instead of asking her not to say certain things instead remind her that you want to do it but because of how you've been feeling lately with your OCD then it might not happen, but that you hope it will and that you will try your best. 5) I think all of this is you ruminating over the subject which is obviously another compulsion. Constant ruminating can negatively affect our moods as well so it's no surprise you're feeling depressed and that your wife notices. Ruminating needs to be tackled the same way any compulsion does, by trying to stop it. The best way I've found is that when you catch yourself ruminating try and refocus your attention to what you were previously doing. If it's still going around in your head then observe it but don't react to it. Eventually the more you do this the easier it becomes. 6) Again this is all ruminating I think. It is probably the worst and most insidious compulsion and is one of the hardest to stop, but it can be done with practice. In relation to your last question I would assume nothing and take a non-commital view. So don't assume that it will happen but also don't assume that it won't happen. If you accept that it may happen or may not happen and whatever happens will be ok then that is the best way forward I think. Hope all of that helps a bit!

I was like this too Snowbear. I used to say to myself "I know the OCD isn't true at all but I'm still worried about it!" Logically that doesn't make any sense I know but OCD isn't always very logical!

All of those sound like compulsions to me, kaheath. I understand where you're coming from with trying to decipher OCD-behaviour from normal behaviour as I often struggle with this. The best way I find to help though is to see what my intentions are when I do a particular behaviour. For example, am I trying to reduce any anxiety or uncomfortable feeling when I do this behaviour? If the answer is yes then that means it's a compulsion.