Lynz

Honestly I have the most graphic sexual fantasies about people I like all the time. Not just that but I have romantic ones too, e.g. I daydream about marrying Cillian Murphy and living in a wee cottage in the west of Ireland with our 5 dogs (), but really, I adore my partner and wouldn't want to be with anyone else. (I've just shown him this post and he's now laughing at me!) Your fantasies are completely normal and are nothing to feel guilty about. Your problem is that you have OCD which distorts reality, so that your mind equates harmless fantasies with cheating, or is making you believe that it means something significant about your relationship when it actually does not at all.

I honestly think you need to take the bleach/antibac spray off him. You have a duty to your other child too and it's so dangerous for her to be coming into contact with bleach etc. He could blind her if he sprayed into her eyes, that's how dangerous it is. Perhaps tell him that what he is doing is so dangerous that's why you're having to take them off him, otherwise the police/social services will be round if you continued to let him endanger others.

This post and your previous one before that was again the result of you ruminating. You really need to try and nip that in the bud. Whenever you catch yourself ruminating in any way on anything to do with your obsession don't engage with it any further, and try to refocus your attention on to whatever you were previously doing before you started ruminating.

Ruminating over cheating in general is still related to your obsession and would still be a compulsion. I guarantee "normal" people wouldn't ruminate to the extent that you do over this, if at all.

Sometimes we say things without thinking them through. The fact that you are now so torn up about it shows that you are a decent human being who cares a lot about his loved ones. If I were you I would really try and let this one go, and get on with your day as best as you can.

I think your OCD is making this into a big deal when it's not. There's nothing wrong with finding an adult female who is not a blood relative attractive, nothing at all, but you make it sound like you've committed a grave sin.

You mustn't be so hard on yourself, Em. Yes you're in a bad place now but there is always tomorrow available for us to make a fresh start. What support are you getting at the moment, medically speaking?

Also, if your OCD is truly as mild as you say it is, then I would argue that it is far better to get help for it now before it gets worse. Most of us here probably avoided getting help for many years until we were quite severe, and it is harder to recover (not impossible, just requires more work) from a place of severe OCD than it is if it's milder, so please don't feel that you have to be a really bad case in order to seek help.

Hi Dorden and welcome to the forum. Obviously none of us on here are in a position to properly diagnose you, but from what you have written you definitely have a lot of what I would call "textbook OCD", e.g. obsessions to do with harm, the compulsions surrounding handwashing when cooking etc., and the anxiety that comes with all of that. It's up to you whether you see a doctor or therapist about it. I guess it depends on how much you feel it is affecting your everyday life. However I would assume it's affecting you quite badly for you to post on here and also because you say your girlfriend is frustrated with your reluctance to seek further help (our loved ones are often better judges of our mental state than us sometimes, and if your girlfriend thinks that you have a problem with it then I would take it as a given that you do). I will say though that you have nothing to fear about going to a GP to get some help. OCD is very treatable with the right therapy (CBT with exposure and response prevention (ERP) by a therapist who specialises in OCD), and I promise you that life is so much better once you start on the journey to recovery .

This book is great. I have it. I highly recommend it.

I notice the rankings are measuring how disabling the illness can be, so I'd imagine the difference is because in the majority of countries younger women do most of the child-rearing/running the household/looking after elderly relatives etc., and if they get an illness such as OCD then the effects are more devastating not only to them but to the wider family and children.

So true, PB. The World Health Organisation classifies OCD as the 5th most debilitating mental illness in the world. That's bad enough for me.

Again you're catastrophising. They can't do that as that would be illegal so don't worry about that. The most important thing is to get you well again. That should be your main focus and priority right now. In terms of therapy I would wait and see what your GP says as waiting lists do vary a lot. One time when I went to my GP a few years ago I was told it was around 12 months, then more recently it had been reduced to around 13 weeks. Even if the waiting list is long though there is still no harm in putting your name down for it and looking for private therapy or alternative therapy e.g. online etc. in the meantime.

Well done on booking your appointment, Headwreck! Don't worry about the "what-ifs" for now. Worrying about what may happen with your job/therapy in 12 months time is pointless and will only make you feel more anxious. The best thing to do for now is to try and focus on your day to day activities, keeping busy etc. and not casting your mind too far ahead into the future.

I honestly think you're catastrophising. I'm a student nurse (final year) in the NHS. My current placement is in paediatric emergency services. I've always been upfront and honest about my OCD and Trusts have been very accommodating and supportive. I've even had the ward manager of the Trust I'm in now offer me a job because she wants me to work there. There's absolutely no way employers can discriminate against you based on mental health issues. To my knowledge the only employer that is allowed to do so (i.e. turn you down for a job) is the armed forces. However I also think you really truly need to be honest with yourself. Can you actually perform in this job the way you need to if you're this mentally unwell at the moment? I think if you carry on the way you are without any help, support, or even just medication you will experience burnout in a few months and then all of your hard work will have been for nothing. I mean you're even talking about suicide for goodness sake. How is this scenario that you're in now more ideal than going to your GP for some help? It's not about hiding things from employers, it's about being upfront and honest with them so they know how to support you. But having said that, just having one GP visit to talk about your current issues probably won't even make it onto their notes. By all means talk to your GP about your concerns regarding your job too. They will be able to help and advise you on that front as well.