Lynz

I can understand why a therapist might have made those recommendations. Firstly, they are more likely to suggest positive solutions rather than negative, so the therapist is not likely to tell you straightaway that you should quit your job but rather they would encourage you to stick it out first to see if the situation gets better, as doing so could help you build confidence and resilience. Obviously you then decided that this wasn't the right decision and so you then left of your own accord which was the right thing to do. Secondly, with your sister a therapist would be reluctant to tell you straightaway to confront your sister as that might have made you feel worse and caused tension within your family. Therapists are only human at the end of the day and are only going by what information you are providing them and don't have the full picture. They are also not oracles or fortune tellers and can't predict the future, so when they (or anyone) gives advice there is a chance that it might be the wrong call. Only you can decide if you want to see your therapist again or not. If she has helped you a lot in other areas then I would suggest sticking with her might be the right thing to do. If you do make another appointment then you could say that you want to update her on your work situation and that of your sister, say what you decided to do (leave your job and confront your sister), and why, say how it has had a positive impact on you and maybe suggest that going forward you would appreciate discussing all options when faced with a problem so that you can be guided to make the best choice for you.

Baby wipes/wet wipes can clog the toilet easier than toilet paper, so using them instead might cause your toilet to block more often. Also they are terrible for drains and sewers, contributing to 'fatbergs'. What helps me is folding rather than scrunching the paper to wipe, as I find I don't need to use as much paper when I fold it rather than scrunch it. The advice about using slightly less paper each time is good too. It is also important to distinguish between seeing that the paper is visibly clean and the urge that you still need to wipe. Sometimes I've had an urge that I might still need to wipe even though the paper is clean. The trick is to stop wiping when you can see the paper is clean despite having the urge to keep wiping and going about your day as normal.

Hi Nick and welcome to the forum. What you describe is textbook 'harm OCD' type thoughts. I'm sorry you’ve been suffering with this for such a long time without getting help. The good news is it's never too late to tackle your OCD. Have you tried any treatment or therapy so far? I can see you’re waiting for therapy at the moment. Is this through your local IAPT/talking therapies service? In the meantime while you are waiting for treatment I would encourage you to check out some self help books. 'Break Free From OCD' is a good one, as is 'Overcoming Obsessive Compulsive Disorder'.

You can refer yourself to NHS talking therapies direct. You don't have to go through your GP. You can find your local service here - https://www.nhs.uk/nhs-services/mental-health-services/find-nhs-talking-therapies-for-anxiety-and-depression/ I'm sorry your GP has been useless.

This is not a helpful response. The OP has not done or searched for anything illegal at all, as the act in pornography has not actually been made illegal yet in the UK. Laws aren't applied retroactively either.

I say this with kindness but it sounds to me like you are extremely mentally unwell with OCD to the point where you can't function in any way at all and it is my opinion that you need intensive treatment, ideally in a hospital environment. Do you have a social worker, CPN or any other key worker? I note you said you've reached out to various agencies but it's not clear whether you have an ongoing relationship with them or if you're just on your own.

I agree. I think it's highly unlikely that anyone will have taken them for OCD on this forum as I think they've only been researched during trials, so a very small number of people may have taken them for OCD during these trials but that's it. They are not currently available for use by the public so the only way people on here will have taken them (I'm assuming) is illegally, or if they've travelled to another country where they're not illegal, which I don't think anyone here would be advocating.

By the way I just noticed from your location that you're from Liverpool. Me too! Although I live in West Lancashire now.

I think you have to be careful talking about psychadelics. In the UK (where OCD-UK is based) psychadelics are currently illegal for all uses whether medical or recreational. My own personal view is that there should be more research conducted on psychadelics to see whether they can benefit people for medical reasons, and if so then they should be available but tightly controlled.

When I was applying to uni I got my clinical psychologist to write me a letter outlining my issues and what support I might require which I then forwarded to the disability support team, so I didn't need to go through my GP at all. I found the support really helpful. I was assigned a learning/support mentor who I checked in with every month for the entire course and she was able to help me stay focused or problem solve, or sometimes she was just a useful person to vent to and that helped me feel better. I was also given extra time for exams and extensions for assignments if I needed them. I'm sorry your GP hasn't been helpful or supportive. Are you able to change GP surgeries by any chance? I've changed mine a few times when I've encountered GPs who weren't very good or unhelpful. Good luck with uni too. I went to uni twice and did 2 degrees 10 years apart. I loved both of my uni experiences. What are you planning on studying?

Glad to hear things worked out OK in the end. I'm the same with not being able to sleep in a bed that is uncomfortable. For me it relates to my pain issues so it can exacerbate that and means that I just won't sleep. Going away is difficult but I try and mitigate it by staying in hotels that I know I've slept well in before, and staying with family where I know the bed is comfy! My husband is the complete opposite and could sleep standing up but unfortunately I'm not like that at all

Is there something else you could do next time when you get these bouts of rage? Perhaps get an actual punching bag that you can keep in the garage and use that to take out your anger on instead of treasured items. There are other ways to manage this though and I echo the suggestion of learning coping and de-escalation skills.

Hi Bev. I just thought I'd jump in here. You can find what are called 'loopable' songs on Spotify etc. Where you can set them to endlessly loop and they won't cause that skipping sensation. Some playlists are designed to blend for example a good one is 'Sleep Music for Deep Sleeping'. You play it from the first track and don't have shuffle on, and it can play all night without you noticing the skipping. Alternatively you can search for noises e.g. '10 hours rain sounds' which don't skip. Some sleep apps like Loona, Calm, or Medito have music on there which you can set to play for a few hours or no time limit at all. Loona is good for that and the music part of the app is free without a subscription.

I would email them in the first instance requesting they extend your sessions due to the fact that you need further support. It may be that your treatment has been outsourced to a private provider which would mean that they are more strict with funding than if it was solely NHS provided. You have a right to have treatment for as long as you require it and the NHS Constitution states this - 1. The NHS provides a comprehensive service, available to all. It is available to all irrespective of gender, race, disability, age, sexual orientation, religion, belief, gender reassignment, pregnancy and maternity or marital or civil partnership status. The service is designed to improve, prevent, diagnose and treat both physical and mental health problems with equal regard. It has a duty to each and every individual that it serves and must respect their human rights. At the same time, it has a wider social duty to promote equality through the services it provides and to pay particular attention to groups or sections of society where improvements in health and life expectancy are not keeping pace with the rest of the population. 2. Access to NHS services is based on clinical need, not an individual’s ability to pay. NHS services are free of charge, except in limited circumstances sanctioned by Parliament. https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/the-nhs-constitution-for-england/the-nhs-constitution-for-england However mental health services can be a bit of a postcode lottery. What may need to happen if they refuse to extend your sessions is contact your GP to reassess your current mental health needs. The GP can then help challenge the decision. You can also request a formal review or appeal of the decision through PALS. Ask for a clear rationale for refusal of treatment and if the reasons are funding related rather than clinical then you have grounds to challenge this. You (or the GP or an advocate like someone from OCD-UK) can escalate to the ICB (integrated care board) and submit a formal complaint to them if refusal of treatment risks harm or breaches their duty of care. And trying to get a friend to take over your support is laughable. They need to do their jobs and support you properly. If all of that seems overwhelming then definitely contact the charity as they can also advocate for you.

Hi Robin I don't understand how they can decide that you can't have any treatment anymore due to lack of funding. Surely that is not based on clinical need? What is their guidance for you to prevent a relapse? Perhaps the charity can help you access treatment and overcome this funding situation. I would email OCD-UK directly.

NLL we know all this already. You've told us every last detail of this to death. What is your aim in endlessly posting about this on here? It can't be for reassurance as nobody is giving it to you. You can't confess to your wife so you want to confess to us but it doesn't work like that and it will never make you feel better. Name one thing you can do right now to refocus your mind. Even if it something simple like watch something on TV or play your guitar. Aim to do that for 1 hour and park your OCD worries during that time. Then come on here and tell us what you've done during that hour.

I would say it's most likely to be the medication you're taking rather than the OCD itself. It is more characteristic for the mind to be racing as soon as you wake up when you have OCD as your brain 'remembers' what it was that it has been obsessing about. Sometimes you can have low mood/depression that co-incides with OCD which can make you feel like your head is a bit foggy. Having said that not everyone's experiences will be the same so it could be your OCD that is making you feel like this or something else altogether like long covid for example (I'm not suggesting you have long covid I'm just using it as an example of something that can make your head not feel right). If you suspect it could be your medication and if it is bothering you then I would discuss it with your GP or whoever prescribed your meds. Sometimes the dose can be tweaked to manage side effects or you could be put on a different med altogether.

It will be hard at first. But what you do is every time you get those nagging doubts and intrusive thoughts you deliberately refocus your attention away from what is going on in your head and on to anything else and get on with your day instead. You acknowledge that those thoughts and feelings are there and yes they are unpleasant but they are not a threat to you, and you don't actively try to engage with them or work out what they could mean etc. It takes practice to deliberately ignore intrusive thoughts and to refocus your attention away from them but like anything practice makes perfect. The more you do it the easier it will be and the less hold the thoughts and doubts will have on you.

That is exactly what you should do You should put this incident in the past where it belongs and not think about it at all and move on with your life.

That's good. I'm glad you're feeling a bit better. So what can you do moving forward to challenge your OCD whenever you get these thoughts and stop yourself from going down the rabbit hole again?

Sorry I just realised I didn't answer your question really I wasn't 'forced' to take Silvercloud first but I was offered it while I was waiting for face to face therapy. I don't think it affected my time on the waiting list at all if I accepted it or not. On the contrary my husband was only offered Silvercloud first but with the option of a weekly telephone call from a PWP, but this was for depression and not OCD and his symptoms were relatively mild.

Hi Ashley. I was offered Silvercloud first while I was waiting for a face to face appointment in Manchester in 2019. I then didn't require the face to face appointment as I found Silvercloud really helpful so I felt like I didn't need to see a therapist in person. My husband had a similar experience where he was offered Silvercloud specifically for depression from the same service in 2020. He had weekly telephone call check-ins with a PWP. He also found the process really helpful. I can't remember who the provider was but it was in the south Manchester area. I've since moved back home to Liverpool (Sefton area), and I'm currently on the waiting list for face to face therapy. This is specifically for health anxiety though rather than OCD that my referral has been made this time. When I was assessed I was told there was a really long wait for appointments so I asked about Silvercloud or something similar as it had helped me last time, but they said they no longer offer that service anymore which I thought was crazy as surely it means the waiting list for face to face appointments is even longer. I've been on the waiting list since July 2024 and the service provider is Talking Matters Sefton.

Sorry. I got a bit confused by your posts. To me it looked like you weren't sure why people were replying to you with advice and came across a bit dismissive. But it must have been a miscommunication which isn't helped by having to communicate just by using text on a forum. I don't mean exposure I did mean rumination. Exposure in the context of OCD is an exercise you do to expose yourself to the anxiety with the aim of not performing any compulsions. The reason why I said your post was a rumination was because it looks as though it's a run through of your internal mental dialogue that you’ve written out in a post instead. I'm not making any judgements on you as a person at all. I vividly remember MySpace and earlier forms of social media such as AOL chatrooms etc. I also remember being 'catfished' a couple of times by other people. It doesn't surprise me that there were teenagers online pretending to be someone else and goading you in order to upset you. This is quite a common thing for teenagers and young people to do sadly. Usually those who do so are very unhappy with their lives and spend their time trying to upset others anonymously on the Internet. The phenomenon is not unique to MySpace but still happens today. My point is you definitely need to try and let this go. When I said your post was a rumination it is because it is obvious to me from an outsiders perspective that you have spent a ridiculous amount of time thinking about this and going over and over it again as it is full of unimportant detail that only someone in the grips of OCD would think to include as important. Others wouldn't even bat a eyelid at half of the stuff you've included. You obviously feel a lot of guilt and shame about this but I'm failing to understand what exactly it is that you have to feel guilty or ashamed for. I hope an outsider's perspective can be useful to you to try and get some clarity on everything.

I never claimed that you were reassurance seeking. Instead to me your post reads like one big rumination instead that you felt compelled to write down in excessive detail. If you don't want us to give you advice then what is your purpose to making this post? People will generally respond here because they assume that the person posting will be wanting advice and support. With respect you can't expect us to know that you posted in order to do an 'exposure' without actually telling us that is what you intended to do. Also I am unsure how your post constitutes an 'exposure' when it looks just like a ruminative exercise.

I also get very anxious when I have to go to hospital appointments. I've got chronic illnesses so I've forever been in and out of the hospital over the past few years. I've found distraction and mindfulness to be the best tools to help me whilst I'm there. When I notice my mind racing with intrusive thoughts and worries I'll do a simple breathing exercise, say breathe in for 3 seconds, hold for 4, then out for 5, and repeat. Another good one to focus your mind on the environment around you rather than what's going on in your head is to do the '5 senses' exercise. You name 5 things you can hear, see, smell, touch, etc. I deliberately name the most boring and mundane things possible so that my anxious brain gets bored to death . Headphones/earphones are also good to have whilst you're waiting and I listen to relaxing music on Spotify such as the 'calming nature music' or 'peaceful meditation'. I have the volume on low and keep looking up every few minutes or so to make sure I've not been called. Earphones are better for this as I can have one in and keep the other ear free so I can still hear what's going on but the music in my other ear is still enough of a distraction. I also take my Kindle with me everywhere and find reading a book helps distract me too, or playing games on my phone. The important thing is to try and not let your mind run away with itself with worry and 'what ifs'. The goal is to distract and anchor yourself in the present whenever you notice yourself ruminating.