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Lynz

OCD-UK Member
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Everything posted by Lynz

  1. Thanks Gemma. Yes it was very challenging but we have rescheduled it for late September this year, so hopefully things will have quietened down by then. I'm just a bit upset as I managed to arrange literally everything for the day and now I've spent the last few days ringing suppliers/insurance providers etc. to cancel and rearrange it all. It just feels like a kick in the teeth really considering how difficult it was for me to get going with it all in the first place 😞.
  2. Thanks BelAnna. I hope you and your family manage to stay safe and well in these challenging times too and that we'll all get through this together!
  3. And finally, I've had to cancel my upcoming wedding and honeymoon in May due to this outbreak which I'm very upset about, so I think this upheaval is affecting my mood in general and exacerbating any anxiety symptoms that I may have already. Cancelling my wedding is a massive step back for me (albeit out of my control) because I previously had really bad OCD worries about this due to relationship-type worries. I'd done a lot of work in overcoming these over the past year and finally got to a stage where I could book the wedding and honeymoon without any anxiety and now I can't go ahead with it 😞. I'm trying really hard to not go down the OCD rabbit hole of "well it's obviously not meant to be then is it because it's been cancelled" etc.
  4. Also I'm a nurse and I still have to go to work so I'm at an increased risk from that perspective as well.
  5. I'm worried from a health anxiety perspective that if I catch the virus then I will become seriously ill and/or die. I'm 31 so I understand that I'm in a lower risk category due to age, but I do have mild asthma symptoms that have not yet been diagnosed as asthma or not, so with this current guidance that asthma sufferers are now at an increased risk of serious illness with coronavirus I'm worrying about that. I've also been unable to get an appointment with my GP for a spirometry test which will confirm a diagnosis of asthma as my GP surgery are now only accepting urgent appointments that have been triaged via telephone. I rang today to try and get an appointment and was told no even after explaining my situation. I'm upset because whilst I have not yet been diagnosed I therefore don't have any medication such as preventer or reliever inhalers, so if I did get coronavirus then I might be more ill because I don't have any medication to help with asthma symptoms if I did develop any.
  6. Hi Gemma, It is your choice of course but personally I would go for the hysterectomy as this will greatly reduce your physical symptoms of PMDD and endometriosis. Yes there is a chance your OCD may flare up but there is also a chance that it will improve. The way I see it is that presently you have both physical health issues caused by PMDD and endometriosis, as well as OCD on top of that. Having the hysterectomy will tackle the first two and then you will just be left with the OCD to tackle, and you will be in a much better place to try and tackle it without also having to deal with debilitating physical symptoms as well. Good luck with whatever you decide to do
  7. Thanks everyone for your kind words A lot of my progress is down to you guys for always supporting and encouraging me to kick OCD into touch! I don't think I could have made the progress that I have done without all of your support so thank you
  8. Just thought I'd post on here to update on how I'm doing as I feel I've made a lot of progress and wanted to share as it might give others a bit of hope. As some of you may know I've had OCD for a few years now and the themes have varied to focus on health issues, sexuality and gender identity worries, harm issues and more recently worries to do with my relationship. I've been engaged to my partner since 2011 but have put off getting married all this time due to overwhelming doubts that have appeared whenever I've tried to plan it, such as worrying whether I'm making the right choice or whether he is the "right" person for me, to questioning my own feelings and levels of attraction. Well I can now report that I've put in a lot of work in overcoming this and I've managed to buy a wedding dress, rings and various other bits and bobs and we have booked a date for 7th May 2020 and have paid the first big instalment towards it. I do still have horrendous doubts but overall I'm very happy about it. Hopefully I'll manage to carry on as I have been doing and not give into any compulsive urges. Hope everyone is doing well
  9. Bobfish is right. Literally all of your posts are exactly the same, Lily. You come here panicking that you've touched someone or wanted to touch them for "sexual reasons", whether it be a friend, family member, professional person etc. You then repeatedly request reassurance that you're not a sexual deviant. We don't give you that reassurance and tell you that what you're experiencing is OCD, and that you need to stop carrying out your compulsions in order to get better. Then you disappear until a new thought enters your head and the cycle repeats again.
  10. The Law of Attraction is nothing but a clever marketing concept designed to sell books and make money. It's absolute nonsense in my opinion. I'm all for the idea of having a positive mindset about life but that's about as far as it goes. Don't waste anymore time thinking about this, Ryukil, would be my advice.
  11. I agree I think like anything for some people it can be a positive thing but others an addiction. Take alcohol for example, many people enjoy the occasional glass of wine with friends or with a meal etc. with no harmful effects, yet many are also terribly addicted to alcohol with devastating effects. I think the same is true for phones, but that phone addiction is probably a lot more common.
  12. I do this type of yoga for my bad back and it helps a lot with that. I'm not sure about its effectiveness for OCD at all. Like most exercise it probably has a feel-good factor when doing it that may reduce anxiety, but yoga on its own won't do much for OCD in my opinion.
  13. Thanks GBG . I am indeed. I had a chicken nugget meal from McDonald's with a chocolate milkshake as soon as I came out and I'm a happy bunny again haha. Thanks Gemma . My goodness I know. If anyone is ever struggling with obsessions, take a ton of laxatives and watch those worries drain away (literally) (joking obviously, please don't take laxatives guys haha).
  14. Thanks everyone. It went ok today. It was a bit of a strange procedure but it was over quite quickly and I should get the results next week, but the radiographer said he can't see anything obvious that could be wrong. Last night was awful. Didn't sleep at all cos I was up and down going to the loo all night , but at least it's over now! Thanks for all of your support everyone.
  15. Thanks BelAnna. I've actually got automatic 5 day extensions for my assignments due to my disability support plan for my OCD, but I hate using them as I feel like I'm failing somehow (yes I know I need to nip that one in the bud!). So far I've only used my extensions once and that was recently, so I think I've done pretty well to not need them until now. My average mark for my first and second years was in the 80s too so I do realise I need to cut myself some slack! I'd never thought about pregnant women and if you get the flu etc. but they are good points. Ultimately I think I need to try and forget about it and get on with my day as best as I can (but stay near a toilet ).
  16. Thanks Gemma I'm over an hour into the fasting period now and so far it's not been that bad. To be honest I've been distracted from the eating thing due to the very effective laxatives that I've had to take Wish me luck guys haha.
  17. Yes of course you're right . Unfortunately I can't go out as I need to be by a toilet all day because of the laxatives (oh joy...), but I'm planning on watching Netflix to distract me and maybe do a bit of uni work if I feel up to it. My partner is off work today so at least I'm not on my own.
  18. Thanks Malina. Yes you are right. I do think a lot of it is about control and the fear of losing it (i.e. losing control of my eating and developing an eating disorder). On the other hand, having to consume lots of sugary liquid drinks/jelly etc. is also making me worry about how unhealthy it is to have that much sugar. I keep telling myself that it's only for today and therefore not likely to have any ill effects at all. Pah, OCD sucks
  19. Hi friends, Like always I'm very good at giving advice to others but rubbish at listening to that advice myself. I was hoping you guys would be able to help me with this problem I'm having. Basically, I have to have a procedure tomorrow called a barium enema. It's a type of x-ray where they insert liquid barium into your colon in order to be able to take images of your bowel to look for anything that might be wrong such as tumours, inflammation, polyps etc. I've been having some GI symptoms for a while now and although my consultant doesn't think there's anything untoward happening he just wanted me to have this test to firmly rule out anything else before confirming my diagnosis of IBS. Now I'm not actually worried about the test itself at all, and I'm not overly worried about the results. I'll probably find the test itself a bit embarrassing but it'll be over really quickly and then I can forget about it. What is making me really anxious is having to do the preparation beforehand. I have to take laxatives today which empty your bowel (not too bothered about that), but I also have to effectively fast (i.e. go on a clear liquid diet) for 24 hours prior to my test. My test is at 2pm tomorrow so I'm only allowed white bread at 2pm today (I've had my breakfast as normal) and then I can only have things like clear soup, clear jelly, honey, bovril, clear liquids, sugary drinks and boiled sweets for 24 hours. This is what is making me so anxious as I have issues when it comes to food to do with my OCD. I often get thoughts that I might develop an eating disorder and I then have the urge to monitor my intake to make sure I'm getting enough calories. I also worry about not getting "the right" nutrients or nutritional balance, and I also worry about being hungry. For example if I have my tea a bit early in the evening and then I go to bed, if I'm a bit hungry in bed I find this completely intolerable and so I have to get up in the night to have some cereal or toast or something like that. If I think I might be hungry in the night even when I'm not I'll have some toast before bed "just in case". I'm aware that these are compulsions and I have been working to try and stop them, but they are way down the list of compulsions that I need to stop as other obsessions have greater priority at the moment. Basically I'm just worried about having to do all of this and I'm unable to just get on with it and not worry about it. I think part of it is to do with the fact that I'm in my final year of nursing training and I have tons of exams and assignments coming up, as well as having to do loads of placement hours. I have an assignment due in next week, and worrying about this test and having to do all the preparation for it is distracting me from my uni work, which as you can imagine causes a vicious circle to be established. So far I've been trying to see these worries as just thoughts and not pay any attention to them, but it's really difficult. Any advice or support on this would be welcome. Thanks everyone.
  20. I'm so sorry to hear this, Saz. I agree with everything else that has been said. Stay strong, take time to look after yourself and do fun things with your children. Remember, it's onwards and upwards from here
  21. I suffer from this to an extent, not because of any worries of contamination or feelings of disgust, but rather due to an overwhelming fear of becoming pregnant. I've had this since I first became sexually active when I was 18 (so 12 years now), and logically I know that there it is practically impossible to get pregnant from traces of sperm left on bedsheets, hands (even after washing them) etc., but I still find that I can't quite shake the worry off. This particular fear has taken a bit of a backseat in comparison to my other obsessions but I think it's time that I dealt with this one now too.
  22. BelAnna be careful it really sounds like OCD is trying to suck you back in here. You're still doing compulsions around this issue even though you've been given the all-clear. You've obviously still been googling hence the comment about the biopsy. Also asking your uncle would be reassurance seeking. It's brilliant that you've been given the all-clear and I'm really happy for you, but I honestly think you should try and forget about it. Benign breast changes happen for all sorts of reasons, and it doesn't usually matter what the reason is as there is often no treatment for benign changes, hence why there's been no further investigation. I really think you should let it go now.
  23. You're right Emsie. My partner is only 31 and he's had shingles twice in the past 5 years. He's fit and healthy and there's nothing wrong with his immune system or anything like that. It's rare for someone so young to get shingles especially twice but it's just one of those things the GP says.
  24. Hi Saffie. I also think the contraceptive pill has negatively affected my mental health when I've been on it. I've been on various different ones over the past 10 years or so, and 2 years ago I also decided to stop taking any kind of hormonal contraceptives and within about 3 weeks I started feeling so much calmer and less anxious, to the point where my partner had started to worry as I acted like "a completely different person" but in a good way and he just wasn't used to it at all. I don't think it's helped my OCD much, as that has always been bad, but certainly my mood and general anxiety levels have vastly improved since being off the pill.
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