Robin43

Thanks Howard I think you are exactly right...I think I have PTSD and I have told people that but no-one is listening. I know what OCD feels like, but this feels much much different.

I cannot trust any therapists now. This particular therapist is a well known name in the OCD world. No one takes me seriously about the radioactivity risk (I mean other therapists). They dismiss the danger I was exposed to.

I was seeing an ocd tgerapist to ivercome a severe fear of radiation, they asked me to do this as an exposure task and please don't ask me why I done it because I question that everyday-WHY? The guilt and the questioning I do about why I done it never leave me. I guess she was a health professional and I was taking her advice to get better but now I am a million times worse off

@howardit was an ocd therapist. For my first exposure they got me to go and open the cover off our old smoke detector and touch all around the insides of it including the black ionistaton chamber, then go and wipe my hands all over my pillowcase and eat food. Now experts have told me I could have inhaled a radionuclide and all because of this therapist

But I cannot get professional help, I am awaiting help from one of the OCD National Specialist clinics here in the UK, I have had my initial assessment back in April but the funding is so slow and the NHS won't give me another Psychologist locally in the meantime so what else can I do

Is there such a thing as too big an exposure? I am plagued by this rqdiation fear and I have an exposure which I could do-everyone else would feel this exposure was safe only me. I feel I am going to get cancer if I follow through,as are my family. I feel cruel and brutal to do this exposure...should I or shouldn't I? What if I believe forever I have killed us from my exposure? Something has to give, I have lay down and let OCD tramp all over me for a year and a half.

Thanks, I have tried CBT, ACT etc but nothing seems to be working for me. This never leaves me all day everyday 24/7

Thanks everyone, but it doesn't really matter what people say because I still feel radioactive and I cannot get over what this therapist done on me and I doubt I ever will

Thank you all for your replies. @Ashleythank you, yes they are NHS and I already have made a complaint though not about that. I have been with a team which are called "Psychosis Prevention". I was with them several years, then I sought a private appt with Prof Veale who says I have severe OCD, but the NHS team are adamant some of my thoughts are psychosis/delusional type and they do not believe ERP type therapy is suitable for me. On top of all that, I am in a terrible place at present and last week this team said they felt they can no longer help me, they are referring me back to the CMHT to get re-referred to Psychological Therapies service-essentially putting me to the back to the queue with a several month waiting list and leaving me in limbo with no Psychologist to talk to even though I am in a really bad place. On top of all this I have already been to CMHT, PTS (who said they could not help me) and then was referred to this "Psychosis Prevention" team. It is a nightmare.

Is OCD recovery possible for those with severe radiation OCD? I spoke with a Psychologist this week who was dubious. He said to me the problem with my type of OCD is that if you don't do the conpulsion then you don't see the results. For example with salmonella OCD if you eat something, don't do compulsions, after a few days you will see you have not took ill with salmonella, however with my OCD you never actually get to see if you have taken cancer or not. My OCD is extreme-I cannot function and hearing this has left me with no hope.

Hi everyone So I saw a different Psychologist on Friday and I am so confused. I had been told by a Psychiatrist that I have very severe OCD, now I am being told by this Psychologist that I have very firmly held beliefs which are edging towards delusions. He talks about me needing antipsychotics. Will ERP still work for me and can you have OCD and delusions. I am scared and feeling very anxious and uncertain.

Aww thank you for those kind words @malina. I am really sorry you had such a bad experience too. I think it is just that I have been paralysed-I cannot hardly get up from the sofa all day and I relive this in my head 24/7. I know you are right though. At the minute I cannot see life past this event at all.

I am really sorry to hear that @snowbear. Thank you, those are very sensible words from you as always. I want to get better, not only for myself, but for my mum as it is an unbearable pressure on her too.

Thanks @snowbear, I appreciate that. I guess I feel so angry and hurt and let down by therapy. I put my trust in a therapist and have ended up much much worse off than before I started.

Thanks @snowbearI am waiting on OHSPIC treatment to begin, I have already had my initial assessment. What does treatment for PTSD look like and will I ever get over this?