Ashley

Hi Becky, I will do my best to advise. The first thing I would say about this is they're talking cobblers. If CBT was not previously delivered with the view to treat OCD then there's a good chance it wouldn't have treated the problem. CBT for spider phobias for example will look different for CBT for OCD. With spider phobia you might do evidence tables for risks from spiders, but we would not do that with OCD because it's the doubt and uncertainty that drives the OCD and no amount of evidence helps that. This may be needed if we need to do an assessment to be sure it is OCD. Perhaps you can tell us a little about your symptoms if you feel able to? Whilst we are not doctors or therapists, we have some experience of OCD between us to be able to give you an idea if it is OCD or not. Many of us here self-diagnosed our OCD long before we asked for help. If we/you think it is OCD then there is a step to try first and that is your local IAPT service, improving access to physiological therapy and you can self-refer into that, you don't need to speak to a GP or get permission you can call them up or email and ask to self-refer for CBT to treat the OCD. We can look up your local IAPT service details for you if you need us to, (just email support@ocduk.org) with your GP surgery name/postcode and on Monday we can send you details for the local IAPT service. Ashley

Hello, It's not bad, but its expensive with no evidence it helps. NICE actually looked at this last year and were quite clear to say that at this time there is insufficient evidence to justify the use of TMS in the treatment of OCD. This was the quote. https://www.ocduk.org/tms-for-ocd/

It's great you have something that is helping you and I hope my words are a helpful addition to that and not in nay way party pooping but I have to comment to help others too. I would go a step further from what you write and say that in order to recover from OCD, simply ignoring and disregarding thoughts whilst feeling helpful, may not be depending how this is done. What I mean by this is I have seen many people do this in an avoidance sort of way and over time that simply leads the OCD moving in another direction or our (myself included) inability to deal with them on some days you cant ignore and disregard. The other problem is, simply saying disregard and avoid intrusive thoughts is something we can't do, because we have OCD, so if it was that simple we would not be here I guess. For most of us, we need the help of a trained health professional to help us and show us 'how' and 'why'. I will try and explain. Ultimately, the road to recovery will come from understanding what the thoughts mean to us, am I paedophile or am I worried about what people think of me, being disowned being sacked, losing my job, family, house etc. Looking at our interpretation of the thoughts so responding with rumination and anxiety and doubt is the response OCD would want or accepting it's a nonsensical intrusive thought (which is where understanding what the thought means deep down can be helpful). But I truly am pleased your approach is helping you and long may that continue. The fact is there is still no clarity on the Amygdala role in OCD (depending who you read), and even if we do think it might be, it's not helpful for dealing with the OCD here and now. How can you know if a long post is written with caffeine. Doesn't really matter though.

This is why the importance of getting a formal diagnosis so you know what you are dealing with. To explain this which I hope will help. OCD and BDD are part of the same spectrum, the two can be entwined and both could be at play in one person. Both share the same characteristics of unwanted intrusive thoughts / anxiety and behaviours/rituals/avoidance. Both are generally treated the same, with CBT (sometimes with medication). Whilst OCD can be about anything, if the issue is only about the persons own body or part of their body, that is where I believe it's more likely to be BDD. But remember, I am not a Dr, so this is just a guide that will need formal diagnosis. I once read that the sufferers insight with BDD is markedly different between OCD/BDD. Many with OCD have insight into their condition, only around 2% lacked insight compared to BDD which is up to 40% lacked insight (if I am reading the research correctly).

As Caramoole says, OCD can fixate on anything and everything! I don't know if what you have is OCD or would be BDD which is why it's important to have a trained health professional do a formal assessment to ascertain. The good news is, regardless of it being OCD or BDD both can be treated and are treated using the same set of guidance as dictated in the NICE Guidelines.

Thank you for your nice comments all To be honest Lollipop, it's the fact I am struggling to be completely open about this that sort of led to me jotting a few lines that ended up like this. If only I could open up to a therapist 🤣 Thanks Snowbear. Not sure it's positive enough for the magazine. I might use it if we need to fill space for the winter magazine but I am not sure it's good enough. We already have four submitted for the September magazine that are far better than mine I did wonder if maybe there is a way to get some use out of it for OCD Awareness Week somehow... as although it's my story it ended up being more about showing what OCD can be like.

I have struggled the last couple of weeks with OCD and I didn't want to talk or write it down. I ended with a mish mash of words that ended up with this... a sort of poem (I say sort of, I wouldn't know poetry if it smacked me in the face) You see, This is OCD Lungs gasping for breath, Bleach fumes consume Neck cranes at window, Seeking one desperate breath of air You see That is OCD Dettol sprayed furiously Not because cleaning is enjoyed Because thoughts bombard You see That is OCD Hand and arms getting redder But I’m determined to get better Hands getting sore OCD feels such a necessary bore You see That is OCD Sexual body fluids fright But don’t excite Sexual interaction is fun for all but a fleeting moment You see That is OCD Thoughts of disgust and shame bombard, I must, I must, I must or I am a bad person Scream the thoughts You see That is OCD Going to bed at night creates fears In case my body unconsciously erupts creating fears You see That is OCD It consumes, it dictates My life is no longer my own You see That is OCD Unique to me are my fears Sometimes close to tears Surviving, fighting, dying inside You see That is OCD Unwanted thoughts cascade Just like other manifestations of OCD Compelled to conduct compulsions Just like other manifestations of OCD You see That is OCD And that is why I must, I WILL recover My life will be my own

Hi Chris, I did reply to your email about this a few days ago, did you receive it? Are you still planning to do this at the weekend? With best wishes, Ashley.

At the risk of offering reassurance, try not to worry Macckles, this isnt the next step to anything Picking a hammer up doesnt mean anything. So for example, I was on a tube platform recently and there was this annoying guy nearby pushing in and being a bit obnoxious and I thought I could push him in front of the tube and I took a step closer to him... that act didnt mean I did or would act on that thought, it was just a thought. The step I took, the picking of the hammer up doesnt mean anything because we didnt act on it, and that is the important part.... it's ok to have intrusive thoughts, it doesnt mean we will act on it, as both our actions proved! I hope that helps. Ashley

Hello there I am not sure about your previous manifestations of OCD or how you got on top of those, but have you had chance to take a step back to think about what helped before? I am guessing if you're at work you might not have had time yet. In the post above you mentioned about trying to stop thinking about the intrusive thoughts. My immediate reaction to that is, could this be part of the issue right now? We know with OCD the more we try and stop having thoughts the more they come. So if it's not too raw, can you adapt the approach for the rest of the night you will let the thoughts be there, even tell yourself I am going to have some bad thoughts in the hours ahead, I will let them come and I wont engage them? Perhaps try and refocus on something else to keep busy this evening? I dont know if that helps, but instead of trying to block and fight thoughts could be a better alternative? As Felix says, take some time out and treat yourself tonight if in the days ahead you are still struggling it's ok to ask for help again through the NHS... you might not even need much, just a couple of sessions. You've got this!

Have a look at this Stace. https://www.ocdchallenge.com/ It's not an app, more of an online program, but Liz that created it did so for her charity without profit so is not commercialised. It's American so more about ERP than CBT but might still be helpful

Most of the app's I have seen and played with are not that good, and many are simply after money or to use your registration email to market you for drug companies and research. I hate to say it, but good old pen and paper could be the order of the day.

Sorry I just realised if you try and reply to the PM I think my inbox is full Shanai, so you may need to reply via email ashley@ocduk.org

Hello Shanai, I did email you about this earlier in the afternoon, I am not sure if you received my email. I don't want to give you OCD reassurance of course, but on this occasion it may be helpful for me to do that. I did include my office number should you want to chat, but the phone system shuts down at 5pm so I will PM you my mobile number which is available until 10pm this evening should you feel it helpful to talk through what happened earlier. Ashley Fulwood OCD-UK.