Ashley

Yes, because effectively you didn't.

If we move the 'OCD' to one side for 20 seconds and look at this a little more bluntly with logic (which I know OCD doesn't like). So what if you did say something to someone with the wrong intent, that in itself is called flirting, it doesn't indicate an actual desire or intent to be unfaithful.

Are you getting any kind of psychological support Alex? Ideally Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. Medication alone is rarely enough to overcome the insidious thoughts generated by OCD. This is pretty typical with OCD, but if you look at this last part a moment, what I think is happening is your ruminating on something that didn't actually happen. So I think because it didn't happen you don't have the certainty that OCD often craves because there niggling doubt is still whispering. So I think part of therapy would be to try and understand what such a scenario (not necessarily that specific scenario) means to you. Would it matter if you had kissed her? Why would it matter if you had kissed her? What creates such anxiety about cheating? What is the definition if cheating to you? On there own I doubt any of those questions and the answers mean a lot, but when you look at such questions as a collective sometimes there's a link that becomes obvious which helps you understands your OCD a little better, which in turn helps you start to manage your OCD better and with good therapy, in time start challenging your OCD. Again, this is to be expected based off the fact you're suffering with an awful debilitating mental health problem. But..... how you feel today doesn't mean that's how you will feel next week or next year. I am not going to pretend things will change overnight, but with the help of good therapy there is no reason to think that you will see signs of that happy bubbly person in a few months and in a year who knows, maybe that person being back will be more the norm than the rarity it feels today. That person is still there, it's just the shroud of OCD is hiding that person You can do this Alex.

I accept that but if someone's been given the same advice 1000 times, telling them to stop doing compulsions won't enable them to stop. We have to continue giving practical helpful and meaningful advice 1001 times and continue until the person feels empowered to act and implement. Even if that individual doesn't act on the advice, it's possible another anonymous reader will read that great advice and act on it. Yes absolutely.... but that doesn't mean we ignore those not able to do the hard work (not that is what you're saying). In 99% of cases it's not that the person is unwilling to do the hard work or that they lack commitment, they fail to do the work because they are scared and fearful of the consequences of OCD.

How could you what? Suffer with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder Lily? Sadly we don't get to choose the fact we initially suffer with OCD it creeps up on us, but we can choose if we want to continue suffering with OCD, or if we want to start fighting to try and get down the recovery journey. Right now you're failing to recognise the intrusive thoughts for what they are, OCD, and you're believing because you felt a body sensation that it's proof of what the OCD thoughts are trying to tell you. I think I have perhaps mentioned before, part of recovery from OCD is thoroughly recognising how our emotions can lead to body reactions and those reactions reinforce any misinterpretation your OCD is making of the initial trigger. Perhaps take another look at our OCD Roadmap illustration, print it out and try and fill in the boxes with your own OCD. It's a difficult exercise, but it's one worth doing it helps educate yourselves about how all these areas collide to keep the OCD in place. Whilst educating ourselves doesn't make the OCD go away, what it can do is empower us to start making better choices about how to deal with intrusive thoughts in the future. Educating ourselves is a starting point that can lead to recovery.

I can relate to this, and if I am honest if I think back a few years this was me too Lonely Mum, in fact if I think back two decades I would have to shower if I just nipped across the road to the local shop. At one point I would have to have indoor and outdoor clothes and the two couldn't mix. But, I am in a different place now, and maybe one day you can be too Lonely mum. I now go out and come back in and sit on my sofa with clothes I have worn outside, I go out and don't shower when I return. My life is different to how it used to be, and to some extent I had even forgot how my life used to be, it's posts like yours that remind me. I am not saying that to say 'look at me', I am saying this in the hope that you might get some belief that your life can change for the better too. The others have made good points, but I did want to ask, have you been able to access any kind of help or support for your OCD yet? I know from my support group that OCD treatment in Leicester is not always the best it should be. So there may be other options if you have already had treatment. Stay strong, you've got this!

I think this is to be expected after suffering with OCD for many years Malina. I quite like a quote which I think came from my buddy Salkovskis (Not sure if it's an original Salkovskis quote) where he talks about OCD and compulsions and he says 'the solution becomes the problem', for a long time the OCD was perhaps making you think it was your friend and helping you by forcing you to question the thoughts... the solution becoming the problem.

OCD or depression, the concept is the same, it's self-medicating. Alcohol is a depressant too, so the more you drink the more likely you are to stay in a rut, so the fact OCD thoughts came back whilst you're drinking is not surprising at all, I would be more amazed if they didn't to be honest. I don't know if the alcohol consumption is a problem or not for you, I guess that's where some honest soul searching is required, but hopefully it's not yet at the point of being a problem, so you can still reflect and find alternative ways to try and find relief. It's a cliché, but fresh air would be a starting point for me, but we are all different so maybe there are other natural ways to find that relief.

I have never liked this kind of advice, from professionals or the forum.... telling people to stop compulsions is obvious and unhelpful, we have to help people understand this concept (which you have partly done) but also help them understand 'how' to stop carrying out compulsions.

To be honest, generally if we could do ERP on our own without guidance we would not need therapy in the first place, so it's not unusual for people to experience an upsurge in anxiety at the thought of it. But, again this is a key point, here in the UK we don't recommend ERP as a stand alone treatment for OCD, the NHS recommend CBT (to include ERP), and that's where the value of doing the cognitive work makes a difference. Now don't get me wrong, doing cognitive wont making the behavioural aspect immediately easy, it's still hard, but if we understand what we are doing and why we are doing it (cognitive) then there's a chance the behavioural exercise if done correctly and regularly could lead to long-term recovery.

Thanks Tez, Usual DBS story, full of the 'amazingness' of the procedure but fails to mention the risks associated. It's a research I have been keeping an eye on over the years because of the way they recruited the 6 patients and their refusal to answer questions on it which I found rather unethical.

I think people who claim being drunk allows them to escape their thoughts are misleading themselves, in addition to anyone who choose to listen to their remedy. I 100% guarantee that anybody that self medicates with alcohol doesn't escape their OCD for long, and most likely only during those few hours they are drinking, certainly the OCD will be back the next day. So the fact thoughts are there or nor when you drink is irrelevant, it doesn't represent truth no more than alcohol represents some kind of miracle treatment for OCD. There was an article written about 20 years ago that suggested that a quarter of people suffering with OCD also had alcohol dependency problems, and I can believe it, because back then there was little support for OCD, so people would wrong self-medicate and like any compulsion, the solution became the problem eventually.

In part, overcoming OCD does involve talking therapy, especially the cognitive aspect of understanding our problems, and why we think how we do and exploring alternative interpretations for our worries and fears caused by OCD. So in some respects, much of your therapy focus does need to be 'talking' to help you understand why you ruminate. But therapy should also be a 'doing' therapy in terms of taking action, challenging our fears and worries. Good CBT should of course encompass all of those components of therapy, but often the success or failure of therapy will partly depend on the OCD knowledge of the therapist to correctly apply both C and B parts of therapy.

Hello Vivi, I think this is one of those which would also bother some people even without OCD. For me, it would bother me OCD wise depending who it was taking a sip to be honest. As to what you do about it I guess for you there are two options. Do nothing and use as opportunity to challenge your OCD (if you're in that place) Speak to her again How you speak to her is a little one of those etiquette moments that many people struggle with such conversations. If she knows you have OCD, could you explain it makes your OCD much harder when she drinks from your bottle and ask her to not use it again, or at least ask you so you can choose depending how you are that day. if she doesn't know you have OCD, again just make it about choice, explain it sometimes makes you feel uncomfortable so would she mind asking in future. (I appreciate you may have already tried both of those options!). Hope that helps a little.