Ashley

I know you’re finding it tough. But maybe it’s time to take a look at how your responses to people trying to help are playing a part in your current malaise. They post with ideas, you nearly always throw negatives back. I get it, sometimes when life’s tough all we see is the bad. You mention every service is poor, every treatment won’t work. We’ve all been there, me too. But we have to keep trying with them. Maybe they are poor services, maybe they won’t help, but equally maybe, just maybe they might next time. At some time or another many of us here have felt likely this. We have all had those moments. But somehow, people do get through it, for some the journey is shorter and easier than others. You can too, but you’ve got to believe it first, even if you just accept it’s possible to get better, even if you’re not fully sure it will happen, that’s a start. With belief it’s possible we are then more likely to be open to going again with therapy, with helping ourselves take that next step towards recovery. Many pages back I suggested taking some time to read one or two of the better self-help books. Maybe they won’t help either, but then again maybe they might help gain some perspective on the intrusive thoughts. But unless I’ve missed it, I don’t think you took up the suggestion. But, maybe our support isn’t helping either. I guess it’s not as im not sure we are any further forward than page one. So perhaps we should do this another way, how we can help you to help yourself? What can I do to help you when things feel too much?

I understand your frustration with services, but we are not medically trained so please do check in with one of the services for your sake. I am sure I speak for us all that we all want your wellbeing.

I am sorry you are having a tough time. In order to ensure your well-being can you call the home crisis team (you can find yours here - https://www.awp.nhs.uk/our-services/community-services/adult-intensive-bristol-bristol-crisis ). Let them know what you did so they can assess if you need checking or additional support. If you can't get through then please call NHS 111 and let them know what you took to see if any help needs to be sent. Please let us know how you get on, I am sure your friends on here would welcome the reassurance the crisis services are aware and looking after you.

Just on Benzodiazepines when the subject comes up I try and post the following for forum newcomers. Benzodiazepines are not recommended for OCD treatment. They are used for general anxiety, but NICE recommend use in crisis just for short periods of 2-4 weeks at a time. The NHS state that Benzodiazepines also start to lose their effectiveness after this time.

I haven’t made cheap shots, it was a suggestion I have made to two different people this week, one on the forum one off it, in both cases I had their best interest at heart to encourage them to think about best use of resources for their own well-being. Shoot me an email if you wish to chat, but let’s try and keep topic on focus for NLL. Again, that’s not personal just forum etiquette I have tried to do for 20 years.

DRS is right, we need to throw that poor advice in the bin. We shouldn't, but many of us experience unhelpful health professionals when we navigate the system for OCD treatment. Where we have the understanding and knowledge to, as you seem to NLL, we have to identify naff advice as that and ignore it, beyond asking to speak to that persons manager and ask them for a new therapist/care coordinator that has a better understanding of OCD. Sorry Im not clear what PTS is?

You're not a mess, it's just OCD is keeping you in a loop. There's no reason that in time you can't break out of that loop, but it does take positive and proactive actions to break out of a loop. Sometimes we need help of course to break the loop, and so I hope yours comes soon. I have been doing this a long time now, and sometimes, just now and then I do ask people if the support they are getting through peer support groups or in this case the forums is still helping, or temporarily more of an hindrance. Support groups can for some become negative if and an hindrance in moving forward by allowing the loop to continue if the same posts are happening daily with no positive actions being learned from the groups. That's a question only that person can answer perhaps, but it's always a good question we should look to answer honestly. That's not to say groups/forums can't help in the future, especially if the recovery journey is yet to start, the support from groups/forums can help that person further down the line perhaps. It can be helpful to seek advice about our thoughts and voicing/writing those down can be cathartic knowing not alone, and that's where a support group or forum is helpful, and if the person is getting that, great carry on. But if they are used to perpetuate obsessive thinking or seeking reassurance as some do, at that point I sometimes encourage people to think if the support group/forum helping or hindering them at this time and if time away to focus on reading self-help books or doing therapy if able to access is a better use of time at the moment. So when posting about our obsessions, are we doing so because it helps, or because we seek advice on how to handle, or are we posting because it's almost become part of a compulsive cycle in itself. It's also important to surround yourself by people who uplift us, which is true all of the time but especially at times of troubles. Not just those who agree and share their own troubles and don't offer input to help you, instead surround yourself by people whose focus is helping you, even if at times the advice is hard to hear or act on.... those people generally have your interest at heart and have your back.

But you say there you missed the appointment, I appreciate there may be valid reason for that, but waiting three weeks is a consequence of that I guess? Generally, I think it depends where in the country you are, there is very much a postcode lottery. In some parts of the country people can self-refer (to avoid dealing with GP), but even then there are waiting times of many months involved.

Ah... this is compulsions all over.. once is never enough and it will always throw the 'what if's' at us sadly! Not sure I have any advice on that, but just wanted to reach out and say i've been there with how once is never enough! But welcome to the forums Imogen, I hope you find the forum helpful Are you getting any help or support for the OCD?

I am sorry Cora, I hope CADAT can take you on, and that instead of telling you that you are a monster, it's the start of something that will help you thrive, not just with OCD but with life in general. I think this is definitely one of those times where we have to work on our self-care and compassion for ourselves. Please don't feel embarrassed, I think it's amazing that you still got something, despite all the problems that OCD brings. So I still see a 2:2 as an achievement that I hope one day you feel proud of yourself. I don't know what is right for you, only you can decide that I guess, but if time allows, maybe see what happens with CADAT because if they can help you, maybe you will feel differently in a few weeks/months and you can make a clearer decision? One thing I would say is try not to set yourself any specific timelines/deadlines, because I wonder if that will add more pressures. Perhaps just have a general objective, but with no timeline for achieving it?

Whilst renewing my car insurance this morning I noticed a new question that I don't recall seeing before. It's a subject I have done a bit of research on and spoke to the DVLA in the past so thought I would make this post in case anybody was ever unsure. So this was the question on the car insurance form. Having OCD does not automatically require you to notify the DVLA, so for most of us we can answer NO to that question. What the DVLA say is this... The key words there is 'affects'. This does not mean if you have to retrace your route when driving you must tell the DVLA, because even if you are engaged in a compulsion you could still be perfectly safe driving. I did speak to the chief medical officer at the DVLA about this a couple of years ago and what he said was, the only time someone would need to declare OCD is if they engage in compulsions whilst driving that make them unsafe/dangerous to drive, for example having to blink several time whilst passing traffic lights, or constantly driving with the attention significantly more on the rear view mirror than the windowscreen and road ahead... and even then it would need to be 'significant', checking the rear view mirror a couple of times wouldn't be significant. If in any doubt, consult a health professional or GP (preferably with experience of OCD).

Hello BRG. It's an opportunity for those who've dealt with OCD for many years to come together. Whilst nature of the beast mean peoples experiences vary, I do try and keep the focus on recovery or moving forward with positive steps. Generally a very nice open group, on average 10-16 people from around the UK attend. You can register freely here - https://www.ocduk.org/support-groups/online/ (scroll down to the themed groups section). In order to register you now need to have a Zoom account and the latest version of Zoom will always need to be installed to access the meetings. This is a new Zoom requirement, there is a post above on how to update your version of Zoom to the latest. Ashley

I have not really heard of him, so I had a look this morning and it seems his online content is not too dissimilar a dozen or so other US based therapists with glossy socials/videos, mainly all gloss with no substance. That said, his seem better than most and much of the content looked ok, but at a guess too generic to help someone not already in recovery. However, I agree with DRS1 that a self-help book is going to be far more beneficial in applying learnings to your own situation. I don't really know how private therapy accreditation works in the US, or how much training someone needs to have to call themselves a therapist. His accreditation LCSW seems to suggest Licensed Clinical Social Worker. So if looking to engage someone to be your therapist, check on their suitability beyond accreditation acronyms, past training is helpful but often doesn't mean someones passed a test, just they have attended training, clinical experience also worth checking on as a guide that they have experience in the field beyond own practice. Also, it's important to remember that just because one therapist helped person A does not mean they are right for person B. I guess if paying private you can always pay for one session at a time, and get a feeling if right for you before committing to more sessions. If after 5-10 sessions you're not seeing any progress, even slight, ask questions if this is right for you too.

I am sorry you don't agree with how we handled. With thousands of threads a year, we moderate a tiny amount, and always for valid reasons. At a guess it's perhaps less than 0.5% that get moderated. But whenever we do, someone is not happy, which is fine, perhaps other forums may be for them. What I will say is we moderate this forum with a light touch, and have done for twenty years now and always with the welfare of individuals and/or the wider forum in mind. However, some facts to reiterate what Caramoole and others have already mentioned and then we can leave it here as far as this discussion goes. We are not a crisis service. When we moderate or lock a thread it is for a very good reason, and not something done lightly. Most of the time it's because a thread is going around in circles and is becoming more of a compulsion than a solution. Sometimes the reasons we moderate may not be obvious to the wider forum, but because of reasons we are aware of but the forum might not be. Sometimes threads are locked for a few hours simply to let emotions cool down and clearer thinking to prevail. Locking a thread isn't the same as banning someone. So a user is able to start a new thread if they really needed to for support, as I believe happened in this discussion. If you wish to discuss forum moderation email ashley@ocduk.org