Phili

Itchy, she has to have fungal swab done but other than that, really happy, though her toy box threatens to fall and crush us all

I’ve been a while with the health OCD in this sort of status quo, but now its back with vengeance. My bump seems to be going away but my boobs itch, so i googled that and found this rare form of C word and sometimes my nipples get sore. So now I’m focused on that, It particular affects the left, because thats the side i tend to lean on and i have hygiene issues because i can’t use the shower.

The doctor said take as needed and the instructions say up to two a day, im going to ask if they can be added to my meds daily as they really help my depression and anxiety

It's something called quetiapine

Im on my third pink pill tonight

I've not had this level of anxiety for a while, the doubt the fear, it's overwhelming

I keep thinking it's a lot smaller and i think it is but then im not sure

Its so hard to leave alone

I’m not getting any mental health support at all. I have a CPN but we only meet once a fortnite if lucky. Other than that, nothing. I had one of my pink pills so the anxiety is gone for 99% but i can’t stop feeling it. Its actually flat, not very defined and about a cm. You can sort of see where it is but not really. My brother says its a spot, he says he gets loads of them. My leg was rubbing on wood doing exercises yesterday and i have never exercised until these two and a bit weeks

Every time i feel it, it feels different, larger then smaller, longer, then rounder, i go calm then anxious, then calm again

I’m so scared, i cant settle

So this morning i found a small bump on the back of my calf. It is about the size of the tip of my finger, flat and slightly elongated. I have been doing exercises the physios gave me for the past three weeks. I’m freaking out, i can’t calm down. My brother felt it and said its just a spot, it gets them all the time. It feels different each time i touch it and I’m trying to keep calm and rational but i googled it and now i think i have some c word beginning with an s and am going to die. I can’t calm down and really need support

But I feel I can accidentally pray to the d word and it terrifies me, what if my paper is cursed. What a cute kitty

So, I’m writing in a piece of paper and want to continue writing on it. I have religious sayings that act like a tick, I don’t seem to be able to actually stop saying them, these involve saying that I am not asking the d.e.v.i.l word for various terrible things but now and then because I say these sayings thousands of times a day I accidentally thing I have asked this d word to curse something with terminal illnesses. Now I write Jesus Christ on the piece of paper before using it and the cross. I asked GOD that if the paper I am writing on is cursed then let me drop a packet of mints that I have, while picking them up and standing them on one end, if they fall over then I scrap the paper, they didn’t fall. I have carried on writing on the piece of paper but am terrified that the d word will cause me or someone else to get the C word because I am. Is it correct that I am continuing writing on the piece of paper? I have wrote a lot and would have to rewrite it, I’m scared.

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