Phili

I hope this is allowed. I’ve been trying to get my go fund me noticed for nearly a year, I know it isn’t likely it will work but i thought I would give it a try. I’m just asking for people to share if they can. https://www.gofundme.com/manage/a-doll-for-comfort

I keep feeling the nipple on that side, as in when something brushes against it and it was itching earlier. I feel something brushing against it often, I favour my left side so I guess that isn’t so unusual. Plus period. My brain is being cruel this week of course I am also hyper aware of that side

Yes, I changed the way I take my pink pill and I think it has made me worse

That doesn’t work with health OCD, you just think it’s been missed. I have to look at all the evidence that says if it’s OCD or not. I was half awake, I have at least three false memories, I’m not sure if it happened or was a dream, I would have either pushed through the pillow and duvet or just duvet, making it unlikely I felt anything, I can see the memory, the memory changes, it was the second lump that morning. Last night I was sure there was a lump in my side

All I really wanted was some words of encouragement and support and yet I go unanswered again

It’s eating my brain

So I was dozing off last night and I pressed against my nipple which was sensitive at the time. Here is the thing, it was covered by a pillow and a duvet but I thought I felt a lump, this is because my hand may or may not have slipped under the pillow but even if it did, there was still the duvet and I know what I 99% did was pushed the pillow or duvet against my nipple and do there felt like there was a lump due to the material. The thing is, it’s now been marred by a false memory of feeling a lump without the padding and i was half asleep at the time and so now I’m obsessing and I am very confused. I don’t know what to do, what would you do, what do you think is best for me to do? plus I think there is an area under my tongue that feels thicker and harder than usual Please don’t ignore me

Hello?

No idea, never had an occupation I’m always nervous when talking to people at first in case they don’t like me And I worry people don’t like me, that bothers me a lot Intimate regards romance which I have no experience with Ot makes me nervous but I don’t have social situations, so I can’t tell Sont have interpersonal situations Personally unappealing, always, socially inept I actually am and inferior sometimes To a point but also because I’m scared I can’t get out the bed because I’ve no where else to go. The sofa is broke and no longer takes my weight. I haven’t gained but the sofa legs are in bad condition, I sat on the arm. Im scared and that’s why I lack personal care but also because I find it hard to engage with it. My whole purpose in life for ten years and more was not to make waves, not to be complicated, we didn’t have hot water so we couldn’t bathe regularly and I was never made to have a bath as a child, I regret terribly the lack of discipline I received as a child. Asking to wash always seemed like I would be causing a fuss. Sitting in one spot and making as less fuss as possible always seemed to be my roll, at least to me and I’m so used to it, it is like trying not to exist because that might cause issues.

I’m still bed bound...actually I haven’t improved much at all. I can’t even attempt to use the shower because it still isn’t fixed and I’m struggling to engage with the exercise. I can’t touch myself, I’m scared of my mouth, I’m scared to be seen unless it’s just my head, I’m terrified of my breasts. I guess that’s why I get attached to game characters, because not only are they attractive they have personalities that you learn. my diet is going well. I don’t eat half the things I used to. I’m down to five normal sized chocolate bars a week and I’m trying to reduce that. I’m trying to reduce what I eat even further but then I get depressed

Thank you, this has really helped.

Health, as usual