Zelda

I find it helpful to think through what I might get back as well. In deciding to take the leap I gain the potential for time, for enjoyment, for space to let my mind wander. As @malina has said, it’s never straightforward. But you mention your frustration now - consider also the potential joy in days not spent doing the same old compulsions or telling yourself how terrible you are. Yes you will feel uncertain, but pretty soon you start to get the feedback and benefits that make pushing against that uncertainty worthwhile!

I agree that it may not be helpful for engaging with each intrusive thought, however when I had a low sense of acceptance that my thinking was OCD related this was a helpful exercise. In this sense, it was a way into exposure and other tools as it helped me to question the underlying premise of my behaviours at the time - that I was a dangerous person, that I would ruin everything if i didn’t respond to the thoughts. Theory b here being I am a careful person etc… much more evidence for this. Broadly speaking I come back to this message all the time when struggling. However, I agree it can be unhelpful for dealing with the thoughts themselves - for example when it comes to calculating the risk of a fire or spreading illness I am rubbish, and A/B only starts me ruminating more!

I agree that it may not be helpful for engaging with each intrusive thought, however when I had a low sense of acceptance that my thinking was OCD related this was a helpful exercise. In this sense, it was a way into exposure and other tools as it helped me to question the underlying premise of my behaviours at the time - that I was a dangerous person, that I would ruin everything if i didn’t respond to the thoughts. Theory b here being I am a careful person etc… much more evidence for this. Broadly speaking I come back to this message all the time when struggling. However, I agree it can be unhelpful for dealing with the thoughts themselves - for example when it comes to calculating the risk of a fire or spreading illness I am rubbish, and A/B only starts me ruminating more!

Hi there, I don’t have any thoughts on diagnosis, difference between the two but can I suggest the book Break Free from OCD: Overcoming Obsessive Compulsive Disorder with CBT? I used this while awaiting access to therapy and it was helpful to see that I was not alone as well as explain some of the strategies for addressing the anxieties and behaviour (like checking). Even without a diagnosis, you can treat some of the experiences you are having or start to address the behaviours. my therapist also focused on this rather than defining whether it was/wasn’t OCD

Thanks @howard, @Busy Fool and @deValentin. I appreciate all of this. I am trying to address my health more generally which might help me too - immunity etc. I generally apply this approach to checking (what would others consider reasonable in particular). In this case I have just struggled to know if I try it all once as a variety of fears have come on at once - ie should I focus on eating more because this has an immediate impact on health if OCD is left unchecked, or hands because this can easily get out of control. Or struggle through dealing with all at once even if I get ill. So do I do the cbt ladder type thing or just start addressing all. but I suspect from your replies I might be better off addressing the obsession not the compulsions, so all at once. Thank you!

This is so kind @Handy. I’ll search the forum for more of your constructive posts…

Hello, I don’t typically struggle with contamination themes and in the past have probably been more relaxed than most! I struggled a during covid (but more from a harm to others perspective). New context is I have been getting ill really often these last few years. And here’s where ocd finds its way in. I find myself checking food or avoiding eating. Feeling like my hands are unclean when I have been in public, but also planning my days around potential illness or checking for signs of illness (usually making me feel unwell). I can see where this is going and just hoping for some tips. What should I focus on here in terms of addressing this early: food, hands, plans. What is reasonable in the context of ongoing illness?

So great to hear it went well @Heartly. It’s an achievement to push yourself and even better to be rewarded with good things

Try to remember this is a great move overall for combatting your OCD. If you struggle at times remember that the overall focus is your enjoyment or participation in a social event that means something to you. Try and bring your focus back to where you are and why if you have a bad moment. Wishing you so well and agree with Handy that the anticipation is often worse than doing it!

yesterday I lost over an hour having broken my rule around checking twice. As soon as I gave into the doubt I was trapped. Missed the event I was planning to attend which was really important to me. It’s so frustrating. Particularly when, as you say, you have been better at it before and feel the stakes are high. When I finally decided to leave the house (important to remember it is a decision we are in control of) even with overwhelming anxiety, i just kept walking. What always amazes me is the anxiety eases within less than ten minutes. It spikes here and there for about thirty minutes, but I just have to wait it out and slowly but surely other thoughts distract me and eventually I’m on my way. So today I have resolved: make the decision (again and everyday) to check only twice. know that it will get intense, and then pass.

I also have a tendency to search my past for wrongs (always more black and white, without compassion for myself than others). Like you, I lived whole years, feeling undeserving, neglecting my responsibilities, health because I ‘deserved it’. For me, eventually and with therapy it came down to a choice of paths (not to suggest it wasn’t a long road to get there). Path 1: I continue to punish myself for an event I can’t quite remember, put my life on hold until I can gain certainty I will never achieve. Path 2: decide to follow the steps outlined by others who currently have a better capacity to assess the situation, trust that they are not doing this for any other reason than it might work, continue to follow them even on days when it feels impossible or like moving backwards. only through the second did I get the perspective I needed and was seeking. The ‘event’ is now one I can think of without anxiety. It rarely comes into my mind at all.

All sounds like an attempt to rationalise a choice motivated by OCD, to be honest. You’ve mentioned what you want to do which is not buy the game. You recognise buying it is about guilt. You justify buying it anyway by saying you can play in moderation. And you justify this bargaining by saying it would create weekly opportunities for exposure… so apparently now giving in to your compulsion is actually good for you. To me seems much like saying ‘I’ll check the oven several times but not as many times as I feel I need to because this will make me feel uncomfortable about checking the oven, so actually this is the right thing to do”. Not checking at all would be a far quicker route to dealing with the compulsion.

Not going to reassure you but some questions: Outside of what your guilt tells you right now, are you engaging clearly with other parts of what your friend is saying? There seems to be here some other information that is being clearly communicated by your friend that would counter what your guilt is telling you to do (I.E buy the game). Secondly, if someone else you cared about said they were trying to change a behaviour they found unhelpful, would you support them, even if it provided a small inconvenience to you?

Thank you @DRS1. You’re right and your comments have touched on some underlying assumptions I had there around deservingness. I appreciate they offered you a shorter set of sessions as this is what I feel I would need. thanks so much for both the info and the reflections!

I had about 14 weeks of NHS cbt treatment a few years ago (phone) and did improve. I also felt I was discharged because the guidelines required it, not because I was ready. I remember feeling I was being coached through the final anxiety test - ‘I think we could call that a 1, not a 3’. But, I also understood the limits of long term CBT and that I was being trained in techniques, and have generally done my best to apply them. Anyway, I’ve done well since then despite some flare ups but the last few months have been a challenge. I have developed quite obvious tic compulsions alongside my old ones. I was told when I was discharged that I could come back if necessary, but I was on a waiting list for over a year the first time. I know so many people are waiting and I feel bad going back again. But I can also see I’m not managing on my own as well anymore and maybe a few sessions would be helpful. Does anyone know about the likelihood I would be offered another round of treatment?